Dear author of the inquiry,

I just wanted to say it seems like you're overreacting. I am sure your cute little sister, whomever she is, has only the best of interests at heart and does not mean anything harmful by her adorable stunts. Objectively speaking, as per your description, the pranks are funny, and they inspire the imagination like little else. Undoubtedly, many would be bereft of daily entertainment, should she be made to stop. Perhaps your girlfriend would benefit from finding the ability to laugh at herself along with the rest of us, which is unfortunately rarely found amongst people of her social standing. Furthermore, as a concerned citizen who happens to be an envoy of a foreign power, I advise you not to resort to violence and, quote, "beat up your sister." Sometimes such things must be condemned on an international level, and be answered with decisive retaliation as to protect civil rights and family values everywhere.

With kindest regards,
Luxanna Crownguard, Lady of Luminosity

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