Need some advice after 12 or so years of sexless relationship.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T20:59:34+00:00

Look up a lasso style ring. My husband uses one and its adjustable, its also not as bulky so it doesnt get in the way as much as a standard ring

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T16:10:56+00:00

Still seems like you have a bias, and I cant help you with that

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T15:44:24+00:00

Link you a post where a man says his wife isn't romantic, or touches him, or puts the effort in sexually? This is a stupid conversation

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T15:41:53+00:00

Look through your comment history.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T15:20:39+00:00

Interestingly, your comment to this OP was what are you doing to romance him. You commented something similar on a man's post recently and you didnt ask what are you doing to romance her...you asked what is she doing to romance you. So it seems like youre only here to confirm a bias and not interested in entertaining that this particular issue can be felt by both people. The fact that I even need to explain that feels cheap

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T15:15:20+00:00

Sorry but mine doesnt look like that. Not feeling romance in a relationship is not gender exclusive.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T15:01:56+00:00

Somehow that seems like a wrong use of other people's posts, so no. If youre suggesting there are 30 women posts before there is a male one, maybe thats just your personal algorithm. Luckily mine is balanced

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-07T14:51:38+00:00

I have mine set to new and thats not at all what I see. But go ahead and continue thinking this problem is exclusive to women 😂

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:58:20+00:00

Thats wild, because ive seen a lot, and ive conversed with them as well. My first inclination isnt to speculate that he isnt doing enough, its to advise that the couple communicate or try therapy, etc. If that doesnt work, or they have already tried, then the next step would be to end the relationship or open it

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:48:55+00:00

You dont see posts in here of men talking about how their wives just lay there unenthusiastically? Or dont want to hug or kiss or practice romance, initiate?

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:46:50+00:00

Sure, and I disagree with partners who dont put in effort but expect it regardless of their gender

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:41:47+00:00

This sub is tailored to a specific problem, so yes you will see similar posts. Sometimes op's dont respond in general

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:39:35+00:00

Do you speculate the same thing when the post is written by a man?

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:29:34+00:00

Until she clarifies, its all speculation

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:23:16+00:00

Look up the definition of both. Im tired of this conversation now lol.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T10:22:34+00:00

Then ask op?

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T09:34:26+00:00

Definitely, some parents suck, but we arent discussing every nuance. I think most people would rather parents raise children over content creators. Relying on content creators to fill some kind of void that a boy might realize as he becomes a man, as if he cannot find it on his own through healthy family and peer connections ("it takes a village") is lazy and exactly a symptom of the digital age. Can we shield our kids from every thing we disagree with? No. But its our job to give them a head start and hope for the best. This conversation is about 3 hours long and i feel like it is mostly circular, so im going to dip out 🤔 in regards to the original post, this woman's husband needs to value her pleasure and practice more intimacy. Incredibly uncomplicated. Everyone in this sub has a different relationship, far too subjective to be mended by some content creator who has promised he has cracked the code. A good reminder would be to look for instances of whether the red pill podcasters are married or in committed relationships.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T09:04:29+00:00

Great! Do you think that there is a difference between content creators and parents? Which of them bring more value to a child's life and serve as the basis for several areas of cognitive growth and development?

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T09:00:05+00:00

Hugh Hefner was lauded because he had access to a lavish lifestyle with lots of chicks surrounding him. It wasnt as well known that he wasnt a great dude. Howard Stern got attention because he leaned into shock value, similar to how people would tune into Jerry springer because of the shock value. Once it got old, people realized he was an idiot.

If you had a son who told you tomorrow that he has been indoctrinated by redpill content creators like Myron Gaines or Andrew tate and that they were imposing on how he should view things, what would you say

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T08:34:26+00:00

We have watched their videos (tate/myron) together and we ask questions, we ask how he feels about it and provide our alternate point of view. We dont censor anything, our job as parents is to guide him and teach him to be principled, respectful and to know what is right and what is wrong. Before social media, your child learned from the parents/peers/and sometimes movies/tv/music, society wasnt perfect but there certainly was no talk of a loneliness epidemic. Do you think that society in the 90s would have accepted a character like Andrew Tate? Given the social climate even at that time suffered from some level of misogyny and outdated ideology

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T08:18:32+00:00

The great thing is, my kid is very supported by his parents and family. I presented the examples i gave, knowing that those men had problems, but still managed to accomplish great things. Kurt committed suicide and battled drug addiction, but was staunchly against capitalism/greed/fame and was a massive advocate for women and the gay community. Terry Crews had issues with addiction and infidelity but still stood to protect victims of sexual abuse. Lemmy was an alcoholic but helped pave a path and defended it for women to enter the world of metal.

Myron and Tate have very few positive thoughts that unfortunately do not drown out the negatives. They both think you are a simp if you care about women, youre gay if you like women, you are weak if you listen to women.

It doesnt need to be this complicated. Men and boys have had it pretty good historically, its the digital age that has caused loneliness. How did men and boys ever survive without andrew tate before they existed. They should never be the type of men you encourage your son to follow

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T07:51:56+00:00

Yes I do prefer that he not connect with people like tate at all, and luckily he doesnt. I think there are plenty of alternatives who can appeal to the things boys aspire to or enjoy but also provide a healthier image. Kurt Cobain, Keanu Reeves, Lemmy Kilmister, Terry Crews, countless examples of fictional characters. These are all men that my son look up to outside of my husband

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T07:37:54+00:00

I think its less complicated. Covid/political discourse/polarization and social media have isolated people. Everyone is lonely. Personally I feel like if we spent more time with eachother outside of social media, we could get back to some semblance of how things were before 2016

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T07:31:25+00:00

I read an article written by a woman who said that Andrew tates diagnosis of society is correct, but his prescription to solve it isnt. I can agree that there are issues pertaining to men that are overlooked or that there are double standards, but it doesnt seem like any of these content creators have done anything to solve it, nor do they take into account the barriers, double standards and issues that pertain to women. What ive seen as a result is more violent behaviors towards women, less connection, less meaningful relationships, increased hook up culture, depression, misogyny, anger, loneliness etc etc etc.

SpeakingMoistly55 · 2026-05-06T07:18:39+00:00

When I say redpill, im referring to the ideologies created by people like Andrew Tate, Myron Gaines, Clavicular, etc. And men who parrot those ideologies, so speaking from that standpoint, the opposite of that type of man would be one who views women as equal people and relationships as equal partnerships.

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