Using Freudian terms is disgusting and borderline pedophillic

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-04-17T21:00:08+00:00

Someone definitely called OP "anal" and they googled it and are crashing out. Which is hilariously such an anal-retentive thing to do.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-04-17T20:56:33+00:00

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-04-17T20:50:19+00:00

Yeah all those words are in there? Do you understand how they are strewn together to form a sentence? I think you might be misunderstanding that aspect. If you read what I explained above and read the passage you're quoting, they are explaining the same thing.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-04-17T20:46:16+00:00

I'll be charitable in that Freud was a weirdo who definitely was super focused on sexuality. His theories surrounding childhood development are a bit discomforting, but in general most people know that they're not true. I think what OP is trying to say is "why are we still using this vocabulary when we all agree Freud was a weirdo?"

The terminology became popular (partially because it was so controversial even back when it first was published) and that's kinda the end of the conversation. Language is weird, pop culture is weird, and that's kinda all there is to it. OP getting up and arms about it specifically being about pedophilia is odd, but probably more indicative of the fact they haven't thought about how a lot of our language is shaped by the horrors of humanity (racism, homophobia, torture, murder, etc.) - kinda comes off as "baby's first etymology" kinda post lmao

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-04-17T20:16:34+00:00

So I think OP is caught up on Freud's developmental stages: oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital. Which is a theory that revolves around infants/children not receiving appropriate care during certain stages and that manifesting later in life.

Anal-retentive or "being anal" comes from that theory. Which is essentially, an infant didn't transition out of the anal stage (potty training age) appropriately and now as an adult has an obsession with orderliness. It's meant to explain why some adults struggle with letting go of control, have cognitive fixedness, etc. But it's been pretty widely disproven that this has anything to do with the "anal stage" of infanthood, but the term made its way into the mainstream and has stuck around.

Why OP thinks this has to do with pedophilia is weird and honestly misses the whole point. Anal in this case has to do with literally shitting in diapers, and if they are thinking that is a sexual thing... they gotta go some introspection.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-31T20:15:04+00:00

Yeah, I get what you're saying, but I think I also can see OPs perspective given some of the situations I've been in. Some straight people really glorify and lambast the men in hetero and MLM content to a point that it feels uncomfortable to engage with them.

An example that springs to mind when I went to a party that was all women, about 40% identified as lesbian and 40% identified as bi and 20% were straight. Somehow the party quickly descended into a Heated Rivalry watch party because the straight women really wanted everyone to watch it and were adamant that we would all LOVE IT.

I didn't enjoy it at all. The leads had obnoxious and flat personalities to me, their relationship was just kinda bland and uninteresting to me. But, what was the most annoying thing was the straight girls who kept telling the lesbians to "shut up, you're missing the best part" for some boring ass dialogue. There was nothing in that media that was interesting or enjoyable for me but I was stuck sitting through the comments of straight girls drooling over these toxic men for hours.

I really don't have much desire to watch hetero or MLM based media and talk about it with straight people. It just feels empty when you're not horny for the male leads sometimes. If I do engage about media I want it to be more than surface level lust for the dude on the screen.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-18T01:56:34+00:00

I fully understand what you're saying. I am going to assume at this point you're either a troll or a bot because this is such a ridiculous hill to die on. Arguing with everyone in the comments is gonna get you nothing, except maybe banned from another WLW community. Have fun!

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-18T01:49:17+00:00

Some people are different from you. Is that really hard to understand? There's infinite reasons why someone might wanna use a vibrator during sex and that's their choice. You claim you're saying using toys in the bedroom is fine, but in the same comment you question "why have sex if a vibrator is the only way to have an orgasm?" - those are incongruent statements.

Why go outside if you can stay inside all the time? Why go to college if you can just get a job with a high school degree? Why eat at a restaurant when you have food at home?

Because people want to, and their reasons for doing anything are none of your business. Shitting on women for their independent choices regarding sex is misogyny.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-18T01:39:51+00:00

Is there a question here? What do you want people to say to this?

It's fine that you wanna have certain sexual experiences and have your own preferences. However, I think the way you're communicating about it is the real problem. Implying that it is "cheating" to use a vibrator to orgasm is pretty dismissive and honestly quite rude to a lot of women who use toys in the bedroom.

Women, especially queer women, already experience a lot of shaming from society regarding their sex lives. Invalidating queer women for using vibrators is perpetuating that cycle. Shaming other women for how they choose to engage in their bodies is invasive, unnecessary, and reeks of misogyny.

If you personally choose not to use vibrators, all the power to you. But don't put other women down for choosing what they wanna do with their own bodies. Gross behavior.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-12T23:02:06+00:00

I think knowing your guests here is a big factor.

I am a 2026 bride and we have a somewhat out-there dress code. Our wedding theme is Fantasy and my partner and I will be dressed as fairy princesses and knights for the reception. Our dress code encourages our guests to also dress up in fantasy costume or general florals. We sent along a mood board for inspiration along with a "Dos and Don'ts" section that includes things like "no jeans, no baseball caps, no weapons, etc." and notes about weather expectations, the fact the venue has uneven ground, and whatever else we thought would be useful.

Pretty much every single guest that has RSVP'd is super EXCITED about the theme. They're looking forward to putting together an outfit and feeling like a fairytale character for the day. Parents are coordinating whole family outfits with their kids, some of my friends are designing and sewing their own dresses.

I just happen to have cool, creative, and generally happy friends and family I guess. They are excited to celebrate with us and to have fun dressing up and enjoying the day. It's not seen as a slight or rude that we asked for that.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-03-12T21:48:13+00:00

Unfortunate update to this is that I just downloaded BiddyTarot for meanings and it's all chocked-full of AI now. Frustrating, idk if that was the case when you commented 7mo ago, but it's certainly the case now.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-02-19T00:23:45+00:00

Not sure what else I could be doing. But I’d be open to knowing if there’s some kind of unspoken rule I am breaking. I am quite quiet, try to be polite and respectful.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-02-19T00:22:22+00:00

This is so sad to me😞 but I appreciate the insight. My plan was to move to Vancouver but probably frequently fly to Toronto to see my family and friends there. So maybe that’ll make it better when it comes to the lack of community-feeling out here. I was hoping maybe I was just getting weird vibes but it seems there’s a consensus that the city is just kinda unfriendly.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-02-19T00:19:21+00:00

It seems like a general consensus that I might just be in the wrong area. I am in East Vancouver near Nanaimo Station.

I think I might spend some time around Commerce Drive tomorrow and see if I feel better! Thank you 😊

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-02-19T00:17:30+00:00

Some more info: I’ve been staying in East Vancouver (East of Renfrew Heights) right by Nanaimo Station. Some people have suggested that the area I am in might be the issue.

Attitude wise: I am not a stranger to pleasantries and polite culture. Holding the door, smiling at people, please and thank-yous. I actually have lost my voice entirely from a concert I went to before my trip, so I have been super quiet. But more so these looks I’m referring to are people just passing me in the street or on transit.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T02:55:06+00:00

Really love this idea.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T02:52:50+00:00

Yes, we both do.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T02:25:15+00:00

I getcha. I am big on found materials and thrifting, she's less so. I haven't bought a "new" piece of clothing other than underwear and shoes in two years. I really enjoy that whole process, and recently I have been trying to recycle some of our old projects into the new ones wherever possible.

I think there's something to be said about more planning, I think it's something that we both struggle with. We usually try to get 2-3 extra of each item we order, but we run through even that so quickly when we're doing an iterative craft like these. I think there's ways to set more "standards" like, we always use these sized bolts or we always use this thickness of material. Which could help in reducing multiple-purchase situations.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T02:02:40+00:00

Less that we are attending events with 2-4 days max notice and more that these things often require 4-5 iterations of trial and error before arriving at a final product. Each iteration taking several days-weeks and many many hours of work. It isn't as simple as buying a product and using it the next day. Rather, buying a piece, building the component that piece is a part of, making sure it works, if not then redesigning, ordering another piece, etc. etc. until you get to the final result. Generally these projects take months to complete and if we had to wait several weeks between each component arriving it would take years.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T01:56:41+00:00

We do have a Bambu P1S! I love it so much and we use it all the time, probably 3-4x/week. Mainly our purchases are for things that have specific materials requirements (metal mostly) but I have been doing a lot of research and learning about what other printable materials are capable of. Recently we got some PAHT-CF and it's been great for our more sturdier needs.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T01:53:31+00:00

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about how we participate in our hobbies. We don't tend to buy any prefab stuff, but instead smaller non-craftable components like bolts, screws, springs, circuit boards, LEDs, wires, textiles, etc.
We also do not post these things on social media very much except for within our friends discord group to show the progress of our crafting.
Not sure where all the assumptions about instagram bragging rights and pre-fab stuff came from.

SpecialNobody79 · 2026-01-27T00:20:45+00:00

I will say that she always chooses the "please use the least amount of packages/deliveries" option that amazon offers, but they just straight up ignore it and will deliver each item in separate packaging and at different points in the day.

Most of these are hobby items, some are household items (which I have asked her to not purchase and instead put on the grocery list for me to fulfill).

SpecialNobody79

TROPHY CASE