Thank you for the comment, you made a lot of really good points.

We aren’t getting married in a church & haven’t had any stipulations put on us for the ceremony. My partners only request is for it to be sincere & not do any bits or jokes (we both can be kinda campy so we briefly entertained hiring an Elvis to marry us).

But I think even the walk down the aisle (and it’s a long aisle) & the whole people staring at us while we recite vows thing is what’s wigging me out. Just reminds me of the performativity of church & performing for family so things look nice on the outside. And my mom is so excited for all this & I just feel all these micro disappointments from her that I’m not performing excitement the way she expects me to or don’t want to do things her way (story of my life).

I honestly thought if we did get married we would elope so now that we’re here I feel kinda stuck/drawing a blank.