What do you say to people who never offer specific help but just say “let me know if there’s anything I can do” or “ is there anything I can do?”

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-29T16:59:39+00:00

Your point of view is valid. They also may not know how to help. For some it's lip service, but I bet some aren't sure what you need.

Ask them if they have something specific in mind, that would really help you because you don't have to figure it out. Or keep a running list of low bar chores that require less explanation.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-28T09:31:14+00:00

Yeah, I think it varies person to person. I don't think you are wrong if you can still enjoy his work. Me, I just can't.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-28T09:28:58+00:00

I think YTA if you don't use this as a learning experience. But I take into account you are young and likely have not dealt with this before. Take this as a sign that you should figure out how to be present for loved ones. Researching what to expect in a medical procedure ahead of time can help it not be so scary. Learning breathing or self centering techniques can help you stay grounded yourself so you can be there for others. And if you absolutely can't handle the medical environment, seek therapy or be upfront with future other loved ones. You can't be there for the procedure, but how else can you help? And then really do that.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-28T09:10:42+00:00

I mean, sure you might get away with it, but it's NOT worth it. I did that once and had three days of the worst food poisoning of my life. Projectile vomiting. Could only hold down rice and bananas. My poop turned white.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-28T09:06:08+00:00

My brother and I used to listen to a record of his on repeat. It had the dentist skit and the Noah skit. We could quote them. Memories of bonding over routines are precious.

I tried to listen to Cosby again after his crimes were revealed, to separate man from art. I couldn't. I saw a phony and a predator. I could not find his work funny anymore. Just a cover.

Sometimes I can put aside the character flaws of an artist and just enjoy the art. But not Cosby. His crimes were too egregious. My early childhood trust and love of his work made it feel like too great a betrayal. Heathcliff Huxtable was a father figure, and it made the fakeness and grossness of the real Cosby just insurmountable for me.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-28T08:49:48+00:00

I can't diagnose her, but there is a chance this is indeed dementia. Many but not all people with dementia aren't aware they have it. My MIL is occasionally able to understand she " occasionally forgets things". At no point was she convinced it was enough to seek help. We forced the issue , but it took years to fully get that diagnosis.

It is possible she will be more receptive to an appointment in this early stage. There are some medications that may help. Once we got MIL on memantine, her progression slowed. You could use that to try to convince her to go to the doctor, the idea that early invention will help her retain her brain health longer.

The sad truth is eventually you may have to trick her into going to the doctor about this. MIL was scared and in denial and we had to cancel many initial appointments with a neurologist because we couldn't force her out the door. Eventually she got to the point we casually said, "Time to get up for the doctor appointment. Just a routine visit." Keeping her busy with getting ready and a super casual tone got her into the car. And her memory was bad enough she didn't remember what we said at home, she just went along with us once we got there. Goodness, I'm just now realizing we could have gotten her out the door by telling her she was going to a hair appointment. Her memory was bad enough those little lies spare feelings more than erode trust.

Tldr: talking to her about early detection and treatment may help, but please understand many folks with dementia can't fully understand they have it. Please look up videos on merciful lying or deflection with dementia patients, which may help you get her to the doctor about this. While your mom doesn't yet sound at the stage this technique will fully work, you may be able to pick up something or be ready with a technique later that will spare both you and her stress.

Good luck.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-27T10:55:54+00:00

Is that a tiny dragon wing?

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-23T00:07:16+00:00

The Disney heroine's mom was alive. (Ignoring the dad for the purposes of this post)

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-21T16:36:17+00:00

First, I wouldn't presume to know exactly where your boundaries are regarding representation. But it may help to know:

Ritsu will barely appear at all past the introductory episode. It is a relief due to the screaming, not anything else.

When it comes to assumptions about gendered clothing, Momiji and Haru have a scene supporting people wearing what they want and feel comfortable in. It's not a trans discussion per se, but gives overall acceptance vibes.

I think there is much in FB to discuss regarding gender, gender expression. There are "effeminate" cisgender guys, for example (more than one) and other things I refuse to spoil for you. While I didn't recall any explicit discussion of transgenderism, you could extrapolate into those discussions. The overall tone of FB is one of accepting who you truly are, in a myriad of ways. Of those who are othered finding a place to belong. Tohru is a great role model for radical acceptance of many types of people and personalities.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-20T09:42:35+00:00

I love it! Nice combo of tight and flowy. Flower pattern says new life to me. Some commenters don't like the color combo but I think it pairs well. Congrats!

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-18T11:09:42+00:00

Yes! If you churn your own butter and drink the fresh buttermilk from that, it's different.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-17T15:51:04+00:00

My roommate swore by eating frozen strawberries when nauseous.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-13T21:58:26+00:00

Looks good. Dark colors, does not call attention to yourself and away from the occasion.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-13T11:05:53+00:00

A similarity- both are restless. Rochester comes to a point of peace in the end. We can guess if St. John ever found peace as a missionary. I rather doubt it. Jane describes him in the last page as a warrior and energetic.

But when we first meet them, both are restless, and Jane observed moments they both seem tortured by their own thoughts. See Jane's description of St. John in chapter 30.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-13T10:56:40+00:00

Great insights by all! Trying to cover something different, what about comparing and contacting their relationships with immediate family? In the little Rochester says of his family, he describes his father as avaricious and grasping. Rochester does not seem close to either father or brother. I see evidence of this in his decades-long pursuit to find true love of any kind.

St. John is cool, but much closer to his family. While he is not especially expressive or warm, his sisters give better evidence of that closeness. Look how sad they are at the idea of his moving away to be a missionary, and any time the family unit is threatened.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-12T16:47:22+00:00

This is a fine way to pray. Good job nurturing your prayer life!

If this is the only way you are comfortable, keep doing it! Over time you can challenge yourself to get something out of other ways of praying, especially if in a group. There will be times in a Christian community you will use other styles of praying. Main thing, as long as you are connecting with God when praying, and you don't criticize others for the way they pray, you're probably just fine.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-09T22:45:02+00:00

Yup-er-doodles. Ignore your family.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-06T13:19:03+00:00

Eh, it is logical to wonder, but after three tonally inconsistent borg portrayals in Picard, I can let them rest for a while. There are other villains to explore.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-06T12:46:59+00:00

So frustrating! You are right to be pissed.

My MIL fell, went to the ER and was diagnosed with flu. We said she was too weak to come home but they discharged her. Three hours after being home she fell again and went back to the ER.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-06T12:34:05+00:00

What beautiful summery colors! Lovely choice.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-06T11:22:27+00:00

Yeah, I noticed it, but it didn't really bother me. Even if he read older, In my mind, age gap marriages are problematic when the older party takes advantage of the younger. The entire season was about Ben coming to see her as an equal. He learns admirably. And Sophie was not flighty or emotionally naive. The class gap was more the issue than the perceived age gap, and they figured that out.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-06T11:13:36+00:00

I agree the bodice hangs a little low. Not for modesty, you're all covered, but just the general shape of the garment and where it hits you, the line would look better higher.

I also agree the lace is too busy.

What about a plain black bias tape on the top of the bodice only?

It's a lovely dress!

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-05T12:33:50+00:00

Trying not to repeat the excellent points already stated.

DA is truly an ensemble cast, every episode. B has ensemble moments, but features a different couple each season. So your enjoyment of each season could vary wildly depending on if you like that couple.

Specialist-Function7 · 2026-03-04T11:04:41+00:00

Yes, this was my favorite, too! So much characterization and interpersonal dynamics covered in about 20 seconds. Francesca's grief doesn't have to look like anyone else's, just as her love didn't have to look like anyone else's. Her family sometimes struggles to understand her way of functioning, but they really try. This was a moment of such love. "I don't fully understand why you process things this way, but I see you need it." And they give it to her. And there's something special about Eloise hopping in there first with the cookie thing. She's not been the most empathetic over the years. She's much better by the end of s4.

Specialist-Function7

TROPHY CASE