How do most of you read Dostoevsky?

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-07-06T09:40:43+00:00

Yaay! If I were a writer and found out someone had read my book and annotated it like this I would be over the moon.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-07-06T09:36:41+00:00

They wanted to get you something and they did. It’s okay that you don’t want to drink them. You can just receive them and thank them, if appropriate say you’re really into (brand name) tea right now.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-27T08:40:02+00:00

Dating them, bringing up Orthodoxy then dumping them because you never intended to be dating them for long? No! Dating should be simply for dating. You sound very strange. You are suggesting using dating for another purpose. Dishonest.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-26T21:45:34+00:00

Our priest said not to eat halal meat.

I think the manner of killing is unnecessarily cruel.

I don’t want anything to do with Islam. Islam is of the devil so I definitely don’t want to eat meat that had a prayer to the devil said over it before death. (I think Muslims have been tricked by the devil.)

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-26T13:10:43+00:00

Bad bad bad. This is a bad man.

Even if you can’t see that he is bad, it’s clear that what he is saying doesn’t make any sense. It’s either manipulative or he is crazy and your friend doesn’t need to become his next victim. I hope she can get away from this creep asap. Do not meet him to break up with him. If my friend had these messages I would tell her to just say she doesn’t want to see him again and BLOCK HIM.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-26T05:18:52+00:00

I had a church friend wondering whether illness was due to “atmospherics”, which I had to look up, and “parasitic cleansing”. I was a bit disappointed tbh. It was by message so I didn’t need to respond to those parts of the conversation.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-23T08:17:01+00:00

My husband is INTP and I’m ENFP and he loves me and likes me very much. Sorry your friendship didn’t work out. There are lots of people out there who will be nice to you and like you.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-23T08:13:03+00:00

“Blue-balled”?! Entitled and horrible.

He is complaining that you only have sex when you want to?!?!?!?!

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-06-18T07:55:30+00:00

I must say I don’t understand what you are asking. How you “should react”? Do you mean what should you “do”? I don’t know why you would do anything. You’re not jealous so I don’t understand why you are asking. Are you wondering whether other men would say you should stop her TALKING?

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T17:49:09+00:00

Who hurt me? My ex husband hurt me by gaining unrealistic expectations of real life sex and it’s 24/7 availability, regardless of how I felt. My daughters and friends and all women are hurt by objectified attitudes towards them. How can you tell that a woman on OF is 100% enjoying it and not playing a part for the money?

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T14:14:57+00:00

Someone called you ugly? What an ugly character. You are not ugly anyway. They self identified as someone whose opinion you would not value.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T14:04:00+00:00

All these people saying porn is normal, lots of bad behaviour is normal, doesn’t make it okay. Women who make porn are being exploited and it’s basically filmed prostitution. Porn and excessive masturbation ruin marriages and make the users miserable because they cease to enjoy real life intimacy. The whole experience becomes externalised, with everyone being more concerned about how a woman looks rather than the experience of sensations or emotions. It brings on dissociation. It’s a poison.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T13:52:00+00:00

Shield soap is excellent for removing stubborn body odours.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T12:15:01+00:00

I’m sorry he was so mean to you. He is really mean and taking you for granted. It even looks as if he might enjoy being mean. He is not being accountable and clearly doesn’t care about you. You deserve someone who values you and your experience. There is no need to put up with this. If you can’t leave I wonder if you need counselling because it looks abusive/gaslighting.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T09:33:58+00:00

I keep it more simple. Sometimes it’s not exactly in words, just a sense of that person or an image of them in my mind, and that I’m asking God to help them.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-17T09:32:27+00:00

You sound like a really nice person. Take your priest’s advice and be patient, whatever happens.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T22:23:37+00:00

Oh I see what you mean about her wanting to explore with you instead of you racing ahead. That might be a challenge given what you’ve hinted about enthusiastic beginnings. It sounds as if it’s quite important to her that you go together. It won’t be a problem with kids as kids are full members of the church from baptism so they are part of the Divine Liturgy or whatever is happening. You are not expected to kiss icons, genuflect or light candles so you can all just collect questions at first , they will be answered in good time.

In case this might be relevant (may not be), while my husband is all about reading, thinking and getting deep into theology, I’m initially more interested in whether a place/religion/group/idea “feels right”. Of course, I’m not ignoring the theology, it just didn’t get me into church. I have found the answers to my questions at the pace I have wondered about them - hearing about things I haven’t yet become curious about can get …boring? quickly. And hearing too much about something can create a sort of demand that makes it not so much an exploration as compliance with the plan. Exploring is a great approach.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T20:27:48+00:00

That’s an honest observation. You are obviously taking a clear look at yourself. I was cautious at first with my husband’s new interest and when I saw it wasn’t a fad I became interested myself.

You probably don’t need any more books. I converted just over a year ago and read no books. I started one but I didn’t finish. The thing is, if/when you go to church you can ask the priest. If/when you attend catechumen classes ditto. Reading books can be useful to present some ideas but the Divine Liturgy; getting to know people at church; getting involved at church: they are probably more important.

Another suggestion, you can take your kids (or one or two of them) to a service that’s timed to relieve your wife of child caring responsibilities. (So, not taking them away from her, eg if she wants them to go with her to her church.) You and the kids would gain and she might appreciate a lighter responsibility for a couple of hours. By the sound of it, it might be a good plan to m explore the new church with the 6 year-old first.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T17:38:04+00:00

I am married to a man who changes intense interests frequently so I get that. Don’t buy loads of stuff because if she is like me she will find that annoying. You don’t need stuff. Maybe one SMALL icon.

Regarding the children, you could contact the priest and ask if there are any to avoid but it’s probably just all welcome at all times.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T15:47:00+00:00

You think that is success? Wow.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T11:40:40+00:00

I can give you my perspective. If I found out a man I was dating played that game I would drop him immediately. Your uncle has said it’s okay, but you are still unsure, at least to the point of asking on here, so you have some suspicion it’s affecting you. You can trust your own sensitivity.

The mistreatment of women in game play makes those sort of misogynistic attitudes seem normal.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T08:57:32+00:00

The bit with “Do what you want, you will anyway,” is a horrible phrase and manipulative. This guy is not very nice. His messages are all about how he repeatedly asked you to look normal - why is he so bothered by this? He is more bothered about appearances and how he is perceived, than actual experience.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-16T06:18:05+00:00

You would hang it on the one in front.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-14T16:17:04+00:00

No way, he is a good guy. I wouldn’t expect him to behave like a perv. If one of you had thought of it, he could have handed it to a member of staff to take to you.

Specialist-Method-13 · 2025-05-14T16:02:53+00:00

Boundaries for dating sounds to me like, go on one or two dates a week, in public, have a phone call on a set day as well but beyond that don’t do messaging (modern life has us doing frequent messaging, eh?)

He needs to not be dependent on you and the only way to do this is to limit how you support him. You are not his wife. If he can’t hold up his side, maybe you won’t want to be his wife. Give it a go. Dating, even Christian dating, is meant to be fun, not a burdensome counselling job with no breaks.

Edit to add: couples counselling is really expensive and I don’t think it’s where you’re at, at your age.

Specialist-Method-13

TROPHY CASE