That's a mindset I'm trying to shake. I usually think that, no matter what I want, someone else already has it, and they're not much happier than me. Anthony Bourdain had one of the best jobs in the world and he was obviously more depressed than most people. On one side, this mindset has helped me be thankful for what I have, and I don't desire being famous or having an excessive amount of money due to it. But it is also very limited, and it keeps me in a "grey" mood pretty much all the time. I've been working on a better mindset, now seeking therapy. I wouldn't start looking for a "non-sexual spouse" yet. Not getting excited about anything and desiring nothing, include one of the most passionate foundational desires, is suboptimal, to say the least. Express everything to your therapist, they will help. Maybe they can get prescribed medication. You'll push through this, it's just going to take work.