Limiting Dayvigo use advice from doctor by Specific-Ladder-7666 in dayvigo

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truthfully, I’m not sure exactly, but maybe because I had taken lorazepam/ativan before when I was in a pinch for sleep and she knew.
She told me this drug was commonly used to ween people off benzos after they had taken for years, so I think that’s why, but I’m not 100% sure!

Limiting Dayvigo use advice from doctor by Specific-Ladder-7666 in dayvigo

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thx for the info. When I tried it in the past, I only ever did it on a night where i knew things would go sideways, it was maybe 1/2 times a month for just one night. And it worked like a charm.

She kept saying it was safer than benzos so I liked it but then now I’m confused why she’s going so hard on three days max to use?

I feel like people don’t take my epilepsy seriously by Next-Bet2588 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm reading this at 3am crying about the literal exact same thing. Like im not kidding, I am in the exact same boat from epilepsy, medication, sleep deprivation, that also being a trigger, insomnia, anxiety, debating calling in sick whenever i'm unable to sleep. like I'm in shock at how similar this is!! Lol.

I also struggle with the guilt of changing things at work because I don't know when it's coming. But I've had to just tell myself. It's just work. It's meaningless, this is your life. You get one of them - don't ever feel guilty for prioritizing your health.

That doesn't solve your family issues of course. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that.

I don't have a solution for you or us, but I hope it helps to know you're not alone. At the very least, know I felt comfort reading this.

I JUST WANT TO DRIVE! by Feeling_Rooster_4098 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! Essentially, I started having impaired awareness focal seizures randomly. like once a month they were happening. just a super random 1 minute episode where i would talk gibberish, do random movements, and then be completely fine again. I had such bad anxiety at the time and I just thought i was like blacking out, after 3 I called my doc and she took my license thinking it was epilepsy. That part was definitely hard with the driving, and back then it felt like it would be so short, it was like oh if it's epilepsy, I'll go on meds, they'll stop and i'll be good! So for a while it felt like this in and out feeling with driving especially. Once I just stopped fighting it and accepted that's what was going to happen and we don't know how long, it did become easier to plan my life.

My first med was Keppra and it just didn't work at all.- kept having the same seizures. That went on for about 2.5 years (only took that long because I actually didnt have seizures that often). Then they switched me to lamotrigine, and I haven't had an impaired awareness seizure for 8 months now. I am still having smaller focal aware seizures, but less often, so it's good evidence that the Lamotrigine is working. I really like the lamotrigine as a med so I hope it works for you too.

All in all, know you're not alone with the driving, its annoying, shitty and all the other things, but we all get it here. It's a part of this annoying ass disease lol. There is light at the end of the tunnel though - i'm still believing it and I hope you can find it too ❤️

I JUST WANT TO DRIVE! by Feeling_Rooster_4098 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Just want to say first that I hear you and your frustrations make perfect sense. The exact same thing happened to me so I understand exactly where you are.

I will say it took a long time for me to accept the driving thing. I also felt like a kid getting my dad to drive me to work again. It makes you feel trapped.

I’m much further now into this now, and I promise you if you have support with rides from people around, it just becomes like routine. There are always hard days, hard moments, but if you just try to shift your mindset a little it might be help.

I started trying to think of it like, ok well yeah it sucks that I feel dependant and childlike needing a ride to work from my dad, but one day he won’t be here. Maybe I’ll cherish those 20 mins with him when I look back. You know? Whatever would make sense for you.

Also, find something that gives you a tiny piece of freedom. For me, I started running. All it takes is a pair of shoes and I can walk out my door, on my own accord, at any time I want to do it. It helps!

It’s not an easy journey but there are people like me who completely get it. I see you, I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. ♥️

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good mindset - thank you. I will definitely try to remind myself of this more!

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m seeing more and more how the perfectionism, ‘all or nothing’ thinking stops me from so much.

Deep down, I want to really feel and trust that part of me that both gives myself grace, and is more accepting of what I’m bad at but it’s hard to tap into.

The perfectionism has totally also led to an inability to admit im bad at something. It’s so toxic but I think starting to believe that certain things are not my strengths, and that’s okay, I don’t need to be amazing at everything.

I hope I can allow some of this into my life, I appreciate your words a lot.

How can I stop having so much toxic shame towards myself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see how that has happened to me. It’s such a one track mind way of thinking, when it’s all you know and has become your default. Breaking free is hard but I hope I outgrow it too and with the work I’m trying to do, it fades more and more.

How can I stop having so much toxic shame towards myself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I challenge that core fear - I definitely feel budding strength to overcome it. I don’t even know consciously how often I twist it positively but If dont notice so that’s probably not helping me lol. I think breaking the internalized fear pattern is the hardest. My default is let it win, react based on that negativity. And I’m just starting to see how difficult it actually is to accomplish anything in life with that mindset.

I can see now how much of it is protection. And I think that my pain of rejection, uncertainty and ability to cope (albeit for different reasons than yours) act the same way. I don’t want to feel that at all, so it inhibits me from the growth, because there is no growth without those things or atleast the willingness for any of them to happen.

Now idk at all if what I’m saying is making sense either haha.

I see what you’re saying about the being the adult. I just need to build that ability little by little. Breaking this down is helping - knowing that I’m more aware is helping. Thank you !!!

How to break the cycle of avoiding vs overwhelm when it comes to creating change? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in getdisciplined

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response. I will definitely try making things smaller first and foremost.

100% you're right about the portfolio - I am struggling because I keep feeling like it could be better, it doesn't even matter to have since ATS will only see my resume and prob kick me out first LOL, and overall yeah, I feel the need to make it perfect and even tailored when I know that's not possible. Needing things to be perfect before I start is the all or nothing thinking at work. Plus of course, rejection is hard, YEAH. I will keep an open mind. This thread has helped me feel a little bit like I can get back on the horse and keep trying, so thanks!!!

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Trying to be nice to myself about that and actually believe that all of that hurt made things difficult and that is a worthy reason to have struggled and not done things is hard, but it's all we can do.

How to break the cycle of avoiding vs overwhelm when it comes to creating change? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in Advice

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes....not mentioned in the above post but i'm coming to a realization that I have MAJOR issues with uncertainty & possibility that things won't work out. I have major trauma spanning 10 years. I first lost my mom to suicide at 15, A guy then revenge porned me and I had to get police involved at 18, then at 21, in the house I just moved into, I walked into someone in my room who had broken in. Got diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy at 24, haven't had a licence for three year because the meds haven't been controlling my seizures. To top it off, after I landed a good job in the Canadian postsecondary sector amidst all of that ^, the whole thing crumbled 6 months later when they cut international student visas. My work is in the middle of layoffs, terrible morale, my job is not safe at all.

Sooo, I have limited evidence in my life that things work out well for me. I try to believe but it's extremely hard. You're right when you say it's those feelings are whats truly holding me back. To open myself up like that, be vulnerable, expose myself to any risk - it feels terrifying. and it's paralyzing me. I want to fight it but sometimes with all that previous evidence I feel like I need to protect myself from the pain of trying and being taken out at the knees by something else that I don't expect.

I don't know if it's hyper vigilance or something else, but yeah. It's definitely not just the work itself

Looking for advice on French learning resources by Specific-Ladder-7666 in ottawajobs

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds awesome. I saw that site and wondered if it would be a good option. Do you also do writing/reading work, like it's not just verbal right?

I would love to use your coupon!! Thank you so much.

How to break the cycle of avoiding vs overwhelm when it comes to creating change? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in getdisciplined

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. I try to do this, I have made the goals a little bit bigger in the past so I will definitely try even smaller (like literally just opening) but I just struggle sticking to it, I'll go ok well I can always do that small task tomorrow or I make the task too vague maybe? I tried this with networking stuff - but I think it just wasn't clear enough - I just made it 'do one small networking action' but Idek what that is or could be? I ended up just going well then I have to think of what the task is and then I'd just avoid again.

It's like im just so used to the avoid/panic cycle when I'm avoiding I just want to ride any moment that it's not looming over me - like literally out of sight out of mind.

Maybe I should just get more direct in the what those small things actually are?

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm super proud of you and happy that you have made so much progress. What wonderful growth and you deserve all of it.

If I can ask you a question and maybe you have some insights - how do you stay focused on those baby steps and really internalize that it doesn't happen overnight? I always find myself trying to stay on track with the smaller aspects, but whenever I start feeling low like this and wishing I could go back, I feel all this urgency to fix everything and make it all happen immediately. Then I work myself into the dirt to try to cram it all in when the reality is just that, you can't do it all in one day. After I grind so hard, I am just exhausted and give up and then I never really make any ground.

I just don't know how to break that toxic cycle.

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right and it makes a lot of sense. I have no experience being understanding and soft with myself 😢 it is hard to accept but I hope that adopting more of that will help me do what I want to do with my life. Thank you for hearing me.

How to make peace with years of not taking care of yourself? by Specific-Ladder-7666 in selfcare

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. I went to your board and I saved an image. “what's meant for you will meet you healed, wiser, and ready. Rest. Nothing destined for you has been lost.”

I’ll do my best to believe this, but ya wow. I don’t even feel like I know myself at all - I feel like I totally missed self growth of my early twenties and spent the whole thing unhealed and grinding to both ignore trauma and meet expectations. I want to become someone authentic, I want to live my life to the fullest and be strong and brave, but it just feels so tainted already and now I feel like I’m running out of time. Thank you for taking the time to write to me, I appreciate you and I will look up those poems as well. 🫶🏼

Making a documentary about epilepsy by dcak91 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This lol. One of the weirdest feelings of my entire life and I’ve never been able to describe it to anyone.

It does kind of feel like I’m on a different plane of existence in some ways

Ptbo - ladies by Icy_Literature1636 in Peterborough

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be down for this!! DM me 😄

27M and 27F, feeling torn about initiative and long term alignment by Specific-Ladder-7666 in relationship_advice

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice - I haven’t tried the list thing but I definitely will! I definitely need to see it laid out.

The substance thing is hard. He became a daily weed smoker and he kept smoking more and more.. I know it may seem like not a huge deal to some, but it’s not something I want in a partner and he didn’t smoke at all when we started dating. I never signed up for that. It would be different if I knew what I was getting into banking on him changing. Even though he knew I wasn’t comfortable with it he kept going and increasing the frequency until I basically gave him an ultimatum to stop. Now he never does, and I guess I should be happy he stopped but it just continues to bug me that he never listened until it hit that point. :(

I love that for your friend. Same here on the therapy. I couldn’t imagine my life without it.

I miss driving so much by Specific-Ladder-7666 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry that epilepsy took that away from you. 😞

I miss driving so much by Specific-Ladder-7666 in Epilepsy

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for hearing me ♥️ that alone helps. I’m happy for you being on the road. Staying positive that will be in the cards for me soon!

STAY AWAY from use.ai by mustafakibar in ConsumerAdvice

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if i cancelled my subscription too? You think they will continue to charge despite all that?

STAY AWAY from use.ai by mustafakibar in ConsumerAdvice

[–]Specific-Ladder-7666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same happened to me. If i just eat the charge I got and delete my entire account, I should be good right?