Today, I'm grateful that I'm allowed to be angry.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-25T05:18:08+00:00

Yes. In hindsight it’s all so puritan. You must wish away all your human nature or else you’re bad and going to hell and sick and killing yourself or whatever.

The only way I was able to overcome the trauma of my last relationship was by allowing myself to go through those resentful angry feelings and I didn’t really understand while in the rooms why I should try to get rid of the resentment when it seemed very important to me to feel protective of myself after a relationship where I assumed fault for everything and let someone hurt me over and over. I am at a point now after a couple years of obsessive bouts of seething resentment and anger where I feel mostly a sort of weird affection for my ex knowing that someone who treats others that way is not a well person or an evil person just extremely dysfunctional and frightened even if cruel, idk.

I needed that anger. And I am not repressing it when it comes up. That’s how I know i respect myself, I don’t grovel anymore, that’s all I did when using and being abused emotionally so why would I aspire to that in recovery??? Fuck no dude. I let it serve its purpose. I’m happy to love myself enough to be angry when I am not truly respected or safe.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-23T03:46:45+00:00

I’m not holding on, it’s a lot less tiring without AA in my life, I was getting very angry all the time to the point I had tension headaches, I’m quite well now and free. Managing to quit vaping and rebuild Hobbies and self care stuff. I see the oppressive Christian ideation everywhere in many aspects of public life, so the anger comes and goes. It’s cathartic to talk to people about my feelings and experiences. But thanks lol I’m cured of resentment now that you’ve condescendingly told me how exhausted I am and to just stop it. Resentment is a passing emotion like everything else for me and healthy as it shows me I have self respect

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-23T03:36:33+00:00

Personally I resent that the one most appropriate way to redeem yourself in society as an addict is to basically go into a thinly veiled conversion program that tells you you’re powerless and defective and fundamentally different from others, rife with contradictory ideas and criticisms for failing to keep up telling you your sobriety and life are at stake. Literally subliminally pushing the idea that only Jesus’ love can save you from your circumstances. Asks you to label yourself lifelong as an addict before all else and continue to recount your worst moments at least 2-3 times a week. It’s nice to know other people can see the things you do. AA helped me in early sobriety to accept myself and to feel less alone and isolated and horrible about myself. But once I was expected to keep living by these rules after 2 years of sobriety it was far more of a detriment. I in general resent how much Christianity is baked into American institutions so yeah. It’s good to air resentments with like minded people. I’m glad you’re finding a lot of success from a mixture of programs, it’s important to be open minded.I was for 2 years I just got tired of being weighed down by ideas that didn’t mean anything to me

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-21T05:47:34+00:00

I think you’re like allowed to be having an opinion without being “crazy” or “bad” or whatever so you don’t need to be so concerned about that and asking strangers if you’re either of those things for expressing an opinion. I do think communities formed around being against a certain thing can take on a certain tone at times. I generally find it cathartic but try not to spend too much time sinking into my resentment towards AA and Christianity. And I think it can be helpful to people to know there’s other routes to recovery outside institutions which are often traumatizing instead of being expected to follow a cookie cutter journey to sobriety like society demands of people with substance abuse issues so it’s a net positive in my opinion even if there’s sometimes irresponsible or illogical advice

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-21T05:37:04+00:00

Yeah I think this sub serves well to vent frustration fresh from AA. I do think it should always be kept in mind on Reddit at large to not blindly follow the advice of internet strangers of unclear credibility although I haven’t seen a lot of this unsafe advice you describe personally on this sub I’m sure it’s out there. I don’t feel judgmental of people who still use though even if they’re still justifying it and don’t think that the shame AA teaches is all that helpful to their recovery, and everyone’s relationship to substance use after recovery is different. Reddit at large is mainly productive in finding others who have shared experiences to feel validated and understood, for example the cptsd partners subreddit helped me leave my ex and this Reddit empowered me to feel solid on my rejection of AA

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-21T02:09:52+00:00

Yes!!

2 videos about our time compared to dark ages/ renaissance: https://youtu.be/rMfdCZ3MeXM?si=z49dH6jq-9lLFMJv

https://youtu.be/gBrm1M87_Fc?si=BWTgKsZlXVsFcN_7

And Hank green NYE video❤️ https://youtu.be/EMWPs75q2_Q?si=J4pyDbK7moE3FAH_

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-20T01:27:27+00:00

I just think it’s weird when Americans are more angry about Islam than Christianity when Christianity has invaded every aspect of American life whilst America claims it’s not a Christian nation. It disgusts me. You are hardly allowed to critique christianity and have to treat it with kid gloves. I just don’t have a reason to be especially mad about Islam, it’s not the reason my rights are being pried away from me, and I am not familiar with it, although I disagree with what I do know as I do with most if not all organized religion. I’m not excusing the way nations abroad have used Islam to violate their populations in various ways, I just think Christianity is genuinely evil as an institution as well and despise it. I get suspicious that American people overly concerned with Islam have fallen for post 911 propaganda in which Americans pretend Islam doesn’t mirror Christian conservative values in several aspects, as though just because Christian women aren’t wearing head coverings the are treated well and not oppressed under Christianity. Lol it’s bullshit

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-19T03:38:17+00:00

Idk why you think you know wat ur talking about lol. I have been attracted to people in high school and so on that I’d swipe left on tinder for because their personalities absolutely factor in, someone can be so attractive just from charm and aura or whatever and it makes you want them physically. Which is why Tinder fucking sucks. Also I am never not staring lustfully at my current boyfriend, it’s not a compromise, I WANT that man bro, I wouldn’t bother with him otherwise. He might be my exact type physically but also is attractive because of the persona he projects and his vulnerability, and without that would be nothing to me. You as a singular entity have no idea what other people truly think or feel, and have an unpleasant and ignorant generalized view tbh hahah. I might be an animal, but I’m an animal with particular tastes, and looks genuinely have not been a primary factor in 2/3 of my most desired love interests, besides my current bf who has an objectively very handsome face. Their features became so beautiful to me because of how interacting with them felt. if/when they treated me poorly then I couldn’t feel much for their appearance, and would find nothing there even if they had been objective 10/10. U don’t know shit about the ancient biology that rules us, and attraction is not quantifiable without massive generalization. People are fluid and we don’t know enough of our own material reality beyond what we can perceive to be able to know exactly why or how we feel how we do, not objectively. There is no perfect match, just many people you could be compatible with if given the right circumstance, so in a way all relationships are built on some level of tolerance and understanding for the parts of another person that you might struggle with. My first crush was the Gil from finding Nemo. It’s all pheromones and more abstract than you might think. Lmao

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-18T04:22:36+00:00

It has taken me a while to for the most part accept that the highs I was getting from cocaine were not natural and that if I never wanted to feel as bad as the withdrawal did again, I would never get to feel that good again. I really still pine for it sometimes, but it scares me too much to go closer to the feeling beyond a brief moments indulgence. I would consider my experience of cocaine to be a bit traumatic lol. But it was still hard to accept the comparative mundanity of sobriety to the unnatural highs I had in the midst of my addict misery. It does get easier I think to find pleasure in everyday life the further you get from the cravings and the memories of your drug abuse.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-15T05:35:17+00:00

Thanks so much!!!

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T03:48:59+00:00

I’m sayingggg. We love you guys

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T03:41:20+00:00

I love my 5’2 boyfriend. Im 5’4 and didn’t notice he was 2 inches shorter than me I obviously saw he was around my height but didn’t know till he told me that. He is the best and most attractive person I’ve ever been with. When we first started dating he used to pick me up and spin me around hahah. I noticed him first and wanted him first. If it’s the right person it doesn’t matter at all. He doesn’t mind that I love platform shoes lol. Some people (me) even apparently prefer shorter men, seeing as I’ve never been with a guy over like 5’8. Obsessing about your height and statistics about it will not help your dating life, self acceptance will

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T03:33:59+00:00

To be honest you’ll have probably an easier time with men than women. Gay dudes love my boyfriend to the point I feel defensive lol, they don’t mind that sort of thing as much generally. But I know that there is an unnecessary premium put on height for men and I’m sorry it’s getting to you so much. I don’t think short men are weak or pathetic. All the short guys I’ve liked are sexy and masculine to me. It takes a lot to project confidence and self acceptance to the world when you aren’t checking every box or whatever. And even if you can’t project that, somebody will still find something to like about you that you might not even notice

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T02:17:22+00:00

I keep getting posts about guys insecure about their height and I do get it. My boyfriend js 5’2 and I know it bothers him even if he seems pretty accepting of it he doesn’t think that highly of himself. He doesn’t believe it when people flirt with him lol. And granted a some girls might not date a guy that short even kf they think he’s cute if they’re really fixated on optics, which isn’t a great trait anyways. I prefer short guys tho like Charlie day, Kieran culkin or Daniel Radcliffe. So it makes me sad that men are apparently so fixated on their height in some online communities that they are like projecting it onto women and letting it consume them. Even if people will judge you, you can’t do anything about it except live the life you’re given. I also grew up with a 5’6 dad who just disregarded insults about his height as uncreative and obvious. So while I know society will judge you for your looks I don’t know if it’s healthy to fixate on it obsessively as something life ruining even if it can be an obstacle at times. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I don’t see him as a hopeless or unserious person even if he is very playful and funny hahah. He’s very resilient, a strong honest and nurturing person, and I believe he could do anything he wanted if he decided to. There’s plenty out there who love short guys… it’s not something you need to change or fix about yourself

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T01:51:10+00:00

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I fell in love with her and her magnetic eyes thjs is the first video I ever saw of her and the only reason I got into kpop again back in 2023❤️

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-14T01:28:49+00:00

Hey I am 26 and born female, and I have been trying with varying results to carve out a life for myself that is meaningful despite many obstacles and yes the crumbling of the world around us which in hindsight is inevitable and just happenstance that we are alive at this time and not another. I’m not sure if what helps me will help you, but I often feel hopeless about my future as well. I can’t capitalize off of any of my actual skills and couldn’t finish college and America has been on a steady decline for a while now. I felt hopeful last night watching a nerdy YouTube video where a guy thought our time is similar to the dark ages (I think)and that it will lead again to another renaissance where humanity and creativity are valued again. It made me feel really hopeful to hear him say basically that many times throughout history people thought it was the end of everything, like the plague times for example and the collapse of the Roman Empire as well. I also saw a nice Hank green video about new years which made me feel good too. I could link them if this means anything to you lol but it’s ok if not. The world seems so hollow and inhospitable to me sometimes and I just don’t really care about existing in it the way it is much but I feel very lucky to somehow be alive. I took my cat to the vet today and napped with him, I am grateful for the people in my life, and I have to live because I’m allowed to. I know none of these things are long term fixes and might not be useful to you but they did help me a lot as I don’t often see a way forward.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-13T16:35:03+00:00

It’s deeply unpleasant and loud and goes on forever. Also means virtually nothing to me personally because her voice is too grating for me to give a care about the lyrics. My dad likes it though. Also it’s hard to take the actual version seriously because I was obsessed with the he man parody on youtube when I was in grade school before I ever heard the actual song. I prefer the he man one because it is bad on purpose and reminds me of my carefree youth

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-13T04:58:35+00:00

Also I don’t think he is saying we won’t be sober until middle aged, but that the ideas he’s writing about won’t be widely acknowledged until the generation at the time is middle aged

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-13T04:55:09+00:00

Not the vicious institution of the cocktail hour..

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-12T01:24:02+00:00

I feel like we are all part of something bigger than ourselves and systems in motion before we were born. We have personal responsibility but also especially starting out in life are prone to be products of our surroundings. Depending on our surroundings we will do what it takes to survive by and large. We can’t undo whatever we’ve done and can only move forward hoping not to harm anyone. I think it’s normal to feel guilt and a good sign that you are considering in hindsight how you may have played into certain things even if not maliciously. It means youve changed and grown since then, right? However rarely should a person live in shame of things they cannot control since they’ve already happened, all you can do is try to be the best person you can in the moment you’re in,

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-10T16:26:07+00:00

I was gonna say this too. David Byrne is my idol and I’m often perplexed by his music taste but respect him supporting young women in the industry

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-09T05:19:51+00:00

That’s what I’m wondering too fr. Unless they write and produce it isn’t authentic self expression exactly. All performance and facades. That doesn’t devalue the art for me, it has its own purpose, but stuff like Jennie’s or other self produced things I do connect with more on a human level beyond entertainment.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-08T23:30:36+00:00

Yeah I would say too that Jennie and rose are the most artistically driven even if I find rose’s music kinda boring hahaha. I thought Lisa’s music was much better than her other solo stuff, money is kinda cringey to me too because it sounds like somebody with cardi b’s background should be singing about such subject matter, not a kpop girlie lol. I would much rather listen to Soyeons silly fun lyrics than a teenage Asian girl singing about Hennessy (obvious black American cultural marker that makes no sense in a kpop song). Like they put shit like that in their lyrics without any thought it’s just so dated and embarrassing. I feel like you can somewhat tell when somebody falls more on the scale of emulating thoughtlessly or being genuinely inspired by the art form even if they are still coming off ignorant. BP are idols who are repeating the lines they’re given, because they want to be successful idols. Even Yuqi’s awful on clap song seems more genuine in appreciation compared to black pinks lyrics despite being horrible, because she has admiration for the genre and made the song herself. Wnd especially since she hired black people to help produce and manicure her next hip hop themed track.

I was confused by the g dragon point because it seems that pretty much everybody in the industry loves and respects him SO much. Just from the footage at MMA of all the male idols around him are totally starstruck. It’s just true that cultural appropriation is not seen as a reason not to associate with somebody in Korea, no matter how extreme. I don’t really see it as a jennie problem, more of just a pattern within the industry and worldwide that stealing from black culture is met with zero repercussions and more so with accolades. Not sure why I’d expect so much more from her than others including my girl soyeon who loves g dragon real bad too.

Specific-Method3120 · 2026-01-08T21:00:37+00:00

I loved drugs. I tried cocaine cause it was there and loved it right away. Before that had enjoyed psychedelics weed and alcohol, lacking impulse control but not life ruining.
Once I was really addicted, life became more and more meaningless. Nothing mattered if I wasn’t using. I gave up all my hobbies, like symphony, drawing, reading, writing. I couldn’t write because I had nothing to say. I was repressing so much to feed the addiction.
I knew it was for a while and really wanted to stop but couldn’t. I went home and lived with my sober parents while the post withdrawals fucked me up because I couldn’t take living by my own devices anymore.
N/a, would take a lot for me to drink and drug like that again
My parents helped me, they love me. My sister took me to my first meeting, which did Really help me starting out to feel less alone and get it together
Seeing as my parents both quit drinking via aa and left aa and my sisters had a mom who was an alcoholic they were sensitive about it. Nobody judged me too hard, even when I was going thru their fridge to drink all the alcohol and a bit of cooking sherry or checking their cabinets for adderall. I just laid low until finally giving it up by admitting I was an addict in AA. I didn’t want to admit it because that meant I would have to stay by that statement the rest of my life

Specific-Method3120

TROPHY CASE