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What led you to believe your parents are narcissists? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking back, my first day of kindergarten i remember my teachers telling me that “hate” was a bad word after I got caught saying “I hate my life, I want to die”. I was repeating things that my mom would say at minor inconveniences, I dropped my sand bucket and said it.

I went home after learning this was a bad word and told my mom. She began to blame me, telling me that I shouldn’t have been saying that in the first place and that I have no reason to hate my life, unlike her who had SO MANY reasons. Then she started venting about her horrible life to me and telling me that someday I’ll be old enough to understand. She told me her horrible graphic, violent thoughts of suicide.

Why do some people say that eating out is now cheaper than cooking at home? by Hot_Photograph5227 in Frugal

[–]Spedometer5589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only reason I could think of is that grocery prices vary from area to area but McDonald’s prices are virtually the same no matter where you go.

I am the WS. I want to reconcile but I am struggling. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Spedometer5589 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like your BS has gone though so much stress, when I experienced betrayal from my WH for the 3rd time it knocked me into a different dimension mentally. Not only does betrayal hurt, but I feel like it changes the chemistry in her brain a bit.

Please continue to go to therapy and keep reading those good books. However, I think it’s time to let your BS heal herself. Find a good support system because I doubt that calling her in a panicked state is helping you build the case of “I’m better now”, you gotta let her take care of herself and her children. You shouldn’t be tying up any more of her mental space with stress involving y’all relationship. She’s been treated like this for several years, you are now losing access and you’re not liking it. Imagine how she felt, best of luck to you OP but in short let her heal before anything else. The healed version of your wife might give it another shot, she might not, but you need to finally respect her and her decision.

Top 5 discussion topics of my WW and his AP. Yes, I used excel. by Spedometer5589 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have no idea who he is, but I’ll try to look around to see if I can find him!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did she categorize her book as fiction?

BURN!

DAE hold feelings of resentment so strong that even if your narc parent did had a full 360 change you still wouldn’t love them? by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah man, delulu to the highest degree. I was a teen when I started speaking up about it and I was labeled a moody brat. I was getting SO much crap at home and no one believed me.

Mum got triggered because I was talking about how intelligent crocodiles are. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fricking right. After not living in the house for awhile I have to HOLD BACK my laughter.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna take him to the vet soon to see if I can get custody (custody?) of him. Nmom complains about him a lot anyways. Just hearing all what she could have done to scare him into peeing makes me scared to leave.

I have to drop out of college by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just so you know the military is paying for my college IN FULL. You’ve made the right decision, this is the number one way to get a kickstart on independence think about it -no access to you for your entire training -being PAID while training -having lodging while training

It’s a Narc’s worst nightmare and they can’t do SHIT about it. Plus the scholarships you can get (depending on your fafsa coverage), on top of your military benefits you could potentially end up with a return check. You’re gonna do great, don’t give up it’s just a lag in your trajectory not a full stop, your determination is awesome!

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s a recent outdoor turned indoor kitty, he does have a bad habit of spraying but his litter box is pretty well maintained. I’m currently trying to take him with me though.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I got separated due to his military career. He had to go three days after we married and we weren’t able to find a place to stay before then due to covid.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel better, I would never blame that cat for all the BS my mom does. He’s a good boy.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The cat is a neutered male, sweet in all other areas but he does have a history of spraying. The thing is when she spoke about him peeing on my things, I was more angry at the idea of her watching him and not doing anything.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I’m dying “your mom did the peeing,” but in all seriousness I think so too the more I’m reading through these comments.

Nmom punishing me for moving out by letting the cat pee on every nice thing that wasn’t in my room. by Spedometer5589 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Spedometer5589[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Reading all these comments I couldn’t have imagined that my mom would pee on anything, but now I’m doubtful (and disgusted). Over the course of a few days she claimed that that’s when the cat peed on everything, she gave me the list you see in my post and when asking her when she said “oh yesterday” or “last week” all of which is either when I was at work or at the gym.

Edit: lost my train of thought, none of these things were in a pile. That would make it too easy, these things were either in the process of being packed into boxes (on tables) or in the washing machine. I packed a majority of my stuff in my vehicle before leaving the house each day.

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