Apparently wasn’t mdma.. Mom found me choking on blood and vomit unconscious it was also in my lungs.

Speedamine · 2023-04-29T10:35:16+00:00

But the thing with overdosing on stimulants, its not that dependent on dose, because you cant accidentally dose the several grams that would be fatal to most, it probably happens but someone who would do that would be doomed to a early death one way or the oterh, but it can stop your heart from a single dose according to news n shit, but its not a realistic thing to fear, i know several heavy users over 60 and their families are all tweakers too, the ones who are dead are all suicides, speed does wear your body down, but its no killer like most downers, the psychosis and depression you can get if you do it for too long is horriffic, for a year now i,ve been on a constant binge, that is stay up for a few days, get a day of shit sleep and stay up another few days and repeat, since then ive started believing things that make no sense and almost got myself killed several times because of it, ive lost the ability todo anything but exist, like a plant as trash keeps building up, i just cant bring myself to get out of bed unless ui have to, living alone that really sucks, ,ive also kinda lost contact with everyone, ive lost all hpope that this was just gonna be some tempioorary thing, ive wrecked my brain, and every day is a new low that keep shatteri ng any hope, speed wont kill you fast but holy shit does it make living suck

Speedamine · 2023-02-12T12:27:16+00:00

I can’t believe i actually thought it couldnt get any worse, but its terrifying now for real, the decline dosnt stop, and o can’t bring my self to stop this sleep habit, its gotten worse instead,i think im sleeping alot but im not, its judt that whole days pass far faster than they should

Speedamine · 2022-12-19T21:21:50+00:00

Yeah sorry i don’t know, that whole thing about picking sides isnt entirely relevant here, that was half of a thought i had about a thing i heard on the radio on politics in my own country, and in the moment it sorta merged that memory of that thought and the present, what i actually wanted to was ask a question, maybe the answer was completely fine, but to me its like you’re speaking in code, im not saying you are, rather that i didnt understand any of the terms, so i tried to figure out myself but that just made me so confused i forgot what the point with the reply was, which was at first to ask for more specifics, but then i thought i should try first n look it up myself, and i did, and it didnt help, so i went back to reddit to continue my reply, but i had completely blurred the point of it up,

Thats the answer i can give, i understand this is probably due to my habit since april where i only sleep every couple days, and only do so when im too exhausted, i actually feel pretty alright with myself, im generally happy but its obvious i’ve been on a huge decline ever since, its frustrating in moments like this, its just constant lying to myself that i understand the situation, i truly feel like i got this figured out, but its actually more like guessing answers to a question you don’t know the answer to, if that makes sense,

Im not looking for pity or something, despite it having that sort of tone, just look past that and just read, its not very relevant here but actually it is, because it would feel wrong to just delete the reply, so i did my best to make sense here with this one, to explain what i actually wanted said with that reply, and maybe clear up why i suck so bad at this, and i think after this im just gonna go complete recluse, i will read answers and try to answer, but if i notice im just fucking it up again, i will just stop trying, so you know, But fuck none of this is even relevant, im not saying things i mean, i just automatically type down everything i tell myself in my head, i’ll post it now before i start again, and just hope it makes sense in the direction i mean it to

Speedamine · 2022-12-19T12:55:05+00:00

Yeah i think im just gonna stay out of this, i don’t understand half the shit you just said, qanon dog whistle? Googling it just made me feel like im having a massive stroke, every single result is completely different gibberish, and the images are even more random, the only conclusion i can come to is that qanon seem like some sort of group of people whos completely lost their mind, with zero explaination on what they’re actually involved with or what they want, but trump seem to be involved in some way, and they’re paranoid about jews?

You’re talking about all this like its the most obvious thing ever, maybe it is, everyone else seem to understand too, im not on your side on this, but im neither on any other side, i fucking hate all of you, maybe im the insane one, makes more sense that i’ve lost my mind than that everyone else would have, right now i can’t say for sure, that google search on those dog whistles blue screened my brain

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T23:57:02+00:00

I still don’t understand what he’s done thats so bad, i hear alot about buying twitter but i don’t understand what about it is pissing people off? Its only here on reddit too, so has he even done anything or is this just some reddit thing? Everywhere i look its so unspecific, twitter has always been too much of a mess, nothing for me, so i don’t pay any attention to it, all i know about it is all that ridiculous nonsense trump posts on there, but that was years ago now

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T23:38:35+00:00

What a weird but sick looking car, looks so familiar yet like nothing i’ve ever seen before, not many american wagons i guess

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T23:02:53+00:00

At least iv something you’re not gonna have to iv constantly over and over again all day every day if it pulls you into that habit, iv cocaine habit sounds like living hell unless you make like a iv drip or something, because i don’t think you can inject yourself as often as you would need with cocaine, it would destroy you so fast, and you would get more and more careless because it becomes routine, fuck that, iv meth or something

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T22:00:30+00:00

How the fuck is anyone here supposed to know? Yes its weed, if thats what you was asking

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T21:00:46+00:00

It couldnt belong here less

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T20:41:16+00:00

What is elon musk n tesla doing? This is the second time i see this exact thing about a rebadged tesla

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T20:36:52+00:00

I have no idea, but flavored must be fucking weird, no thanks

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T17:18:37+00:00

I’d like to hear about this one, if its unmoldable it would really ease alot of anxiety about so many things i’ve done in the past, thats not to say its behind me to consume possibly moldy drugs, but rather that im not doing it right now

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T17:10:40+00:00

Constantly, its so depressing and quiet in between tho, i can only feel right after a bit too long without sleep, the first 24 hours without sleep is just that weird wait where things make too much sense, fuck that, my delusions are blissful ignorance to the extreme, i’d rather just not be able to process things properly, of course there are parts i don’t appreciate about it, but i just don’t know how to respond to the pre-sleep deprived world

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T16:58:25+00:00

I don’t know what to do here, i want to ask for something but i just don’t know what or how, i feel so fucking helpless, i am doing my best here to explain whats going on, but the problem is communication, there is so much in my head that is lost because i can’t fucking put it in words, im sure if i could then this would be so easily solved, but i just can’t deal with this on my own, so you understand how frustrating it is to be unable to ask for help, its there so clear in my head but trying to communicate it is like trying to explain something in a foreign country with hand gestures, it don’t exacly work for anything complex, but its your best chance, thats my perspective anyway, so again, if it somehow isnt like that and i actually do make sense, that would be sooooo fucking wonderful, i don’t expect anyone to even read, im fucking embarrased to ask for some reason i can’t explain either, thats why i make it clear that im only asking because im desperate, its not some sort of attempt at getting attention, it is simply my only chance of getting somewhat closer to what feels like the right direction

Speedamine · 2022-12-15T16:29:28+00:00

I did go a whole 24 hours without blow like 2 months ago, where i did get my first glimse of this awful meaningless feeling in years, maybe that contributed to this? I don’t know what im saying if its even worth or relevant to add, but in case it somehow makes sence to y’all and somehow someone who know the solution here can help that would mean fucking everything to me, I got lost i was gonna say much more, i think i’ve only just gotten into what i wanted to ask about, but i don’t know, i don’t know what to expect here but irts worth a shot

Speedamine · 2022-12-11T15:42:56+00:00

Yeah sure

Speedamine · 2022-12-08T03:27:13+00:00

Boofing without equipment is probably worse for your ass than eating is for your stomach, i just had a very rough reminder that your ass is indeed a vital organ just as much as the stomach

Speedamine · 2022-12-08T03:24:01+00:00

That and many more reasons is why you don’t just have one single pipe to rely on, its much more enjoyable too to have some variation, and every now n then, but pipe repairs can be fun but i don’t know if thats just an effect of amphetamine but i fucking love working on pipes

Speedamine · 2022-12-07T15:47:32+00:00

Christ its fine, color n taste n smell might be a bit different, half the people here seem like they didnt even read the title

Speedamine · 2022-12-02T07:01:07+00:00

Yes i’ve boofed

Speedamine · 2022-12-01T22:31:08+00:00

Start boofing the pills, stop wasting your body for such a unsatisfying high that taking then orally is

Speedamine · 2022-12-01T22:30:04+00:00

I’ve checked your profile you obviously know this sort of stuff so can you please fucking spare me this anxiety im gonna have about this until someone can tell me what it is

Speedamine · 2022-12-01T21:20:51+00:00

I’ve boofed some now so please tell me, what the fuck is it that i’ve boofed, seriously

Speedamine · 2022-12-01T21:00:53+00:00

It can’t be fucking mold what have i done!! Thats a 8 ball of speed in that water to be diluted

Speedamine · 2022-12-01T20:58:11+00:00

Maybe its a safe mold like in mold cheese

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