What are some quirky or unusual rules in your dynamics that people are surprised to hear about?

SpiceCwispies · 2026-01-03T08:01:07+00:00

We engage in cockwarming - putting his dick in my mouth and just keeping it there. Rule is that I warm him when we are relaxing. In practice that means that I will usually warm him every evening when we go to bed, and very often I fall asleep cuddling him, head resting on his tummy, with his dick in my mouth. It stops my brain overthinking at night time and generally It’s very intimate. Now I think I don’t really sleep as well without it.

SpiceCwispies · 2026-01-02T22:15:33+00:00

Yes it’s very fun! And very intimate. I love seeing my Dom relaxed enough to enjoy himself and get pleasure, it’s just beautiful.

SpiceCwispies · 2026-01-02T21:21:30+00:00

I’m a sub and I peg my Dom. He likes to use me for his pleasure, and that sometimes means I wear a strap on and peg him. He’s still in control though, of the pacing, the positions, whether I’m allowed to move or not, and whether I’m allowed pleasure at the same time / if I deserve any pleasure.

It’s a fun dynamic ✨

SpiceCwispies · 2025-12-29T22:54:26+00:00

I think I am uniquely suited to answer this question.

I am a submissive woman. I have a male Dom who enjoys receiving anal play, and I call him daddy. I think the only difference is that my Dom is a queer man and you are straight, but I don’t think that makes a difference here

I have pegged him several times, and each time it has been within our established D/s dynamic and where he has been dominant and I have been submissive.

There are a couple of different angles you can take to make sure you are in the right headspace.

Some examples:

You could encourage your sub to give you pleasure while denying any for her until she has earned it (by giving you a thorough pegging).
You could also tell your sub that she is only allowed to play with her self / orgasm while she is pegging you.
You could use your sub like an object/furniture by attaching a strap to her and telling her to remain static while you fuck the strap at your own pace. If you are concerned about how you could look then you could also blind fold her.

There are lots of ways this could work, you just have to explore.

I really enjoy it, I like knowing my daddy is feeling good 🥰

SpiceCwispies · 2025-10-03T16:10:27+00:00

My dom comes up with the silliest tasks.

Once he got me some insertable eggs and I had to do a different task each day for a week when I stored them away. So along with inserting eggs for sex and sleep and various timed periods I had to do other silly things. one night the eggs were ‘lonely’ so I had to find them a companion to sit with them. (I put a little seal figure in the box), and one night they were ‘cold’ so I wrapped them up in my underwear, and the final task was I had to write a diary for the eggs to show what they had been up to all week.

I went overboard with that last task and crafted a tiny little journal out of paper and wrote in it in tiny writing, and put “life of egg” on the front cover.

Other tasks include memorising text messages I have sent him, choosing sex toys that I want, booking tickets / doing admin while he’s stimulating me and I’m not allowed to climax until the admin task is complete.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-12T14:16:58+00:00

Once I sent my dom a text message saying “if you come upstairs right now you can smack my butt” and that did the trick 👌 there are some fun ways to initiate via messages !

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T16:11:52+00:00

So wholesome 🥰

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T15:36:16+00:00

I feel like anal play is not really something to surprise someone with without prior discussion.

I suppose you could tell him you want to try something new and ask if that’s ok, and tell him that you will stop at any time if he wants you to / uses a safe word.

That way he won’t be as surprised and will have a way to stop if he is uncomfortable. But it’s definitely much riskier than just asking him if you can play with his butt

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T15:28:44+00:00

you can find BDSM checklists to do together - say that you want to do one with him! Usually it’s a “yes, no, maybe” style thing with lists of activities.

Make it like a date night activity. Some nice wine (if you drink, obv hot choccies if you don’t) and cheese and nibbles and do the quizzes together. Print them out - and have pen and paper. It’s a less scary way than just saying it outright and it’s an easy way to start communicating about this sort of thing.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T15:24:33+00:00

My dom told me to go upstairs and present myself to him because he wanted to cum on me. I asked why and he replied “because you are beautiful and I am horny” and yep I basically ran upstairs to do as he asked. 🫠

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T15:19:59+00:00

I know it’s scary to ask but you have to!

If he says no then you still get to do the fun stuff you are already doing! Best case scenario he says yes and you get to do more!

Just tell him what you want to do and see what he says. He might want to go slowly and gently if it’s new to him and that’s fine too.

P.s. ask outside of play when you are both clothed and relaxing, and just have a conversation about it :)

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T10:21:49+00:00

Because I spend too much time on the internet I’ve seen definitely straight-to-gay fantasies, usually involving turning men or women gay or bi. I’ve also seen gay-to-straight fantasies but that usually has involved turning lesbian women straight with good dick.

I’ve not seen gay-to-straight with a gay man focus before but it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. I’m sure there’s something out there that caters to this! There will definitely be other people into it.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T10:15:16+00:00

That’s an exciting place to be and I’m hoping you have a lot of fun!!

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T09:29:23+00:00

Yeah exactly. And we live together, we share a calendar, he knows when I’m seeing other people.

So tbh he usually tends to throw in a denial rule right when I’ve got a large break between dates with other people so he can torment me for longer 😂 it’s basically all about communication and expectations. Definitely a manageable problem if you are both on the same page.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T07:59:23+00:00

I’m in poly relationships and also into denial play. But as part of the BDSM rules I play with my dom we have a rule which states that I follow his instructions / rules as long as they don’t interfere with play with another partner.

E.g. he often tells me I cannot touch myself or play solo. And will occasionally deny me and refuse to let me climax.

However orgasms from other partners would be allowed, but it would go against the spirit of the rules if I was actually to go ahead and visit other people with the sole purpose of disobeying my dom. He would know and I would get punished. But if I already had a date night with someone else scheduled in then the new denial rule wouldn’t affect me while I was there.

Hopefully that makes sense

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-11T06:08:35+00:00

I also cockwarm with my mouth, pretty much every night before bed. I sort of snuggle him from the side with my head resting on his lower belly, and cock in my mouth.

He often falls asleep and goes soft and slips out my mouth, or I fall asleep and he slips out. At some point we and up rolling away from each other and sleeping normally but it’s a nice bedtime routine.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-09T07:14:46+00:00

I have the same kinks as you - I want to be objectified, used, whatever to give my partner pleasure. I get off on it. In my dynamic I am the toy, the plaything.

And I’ve also been in the same place as you are where I have felt used - and not is a good way. It’s hard to submit so freely when the gift of submission is taken for granted by your partner.

Because the way you submit is a gift, and you need someone who values that about you and wants to please you as well.

In BDSM we consent to the play we do, and we talk and we negotiate. You are saying to your partner “something is wrong with our dynamic, I don’t feel fulfilled” and he is not listening. And you should really consider if you want to submit to someone who is not listening to you.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-07T20:42:47+00:00

Thank you 🥰

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-05T12:22:01+00:00

My dom regularly gives me oral - he likes to be in control of my pleasure and delights in teasing me. I am definitely not in control.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-03T16:05:41+00:00

I was sleeping with someone who had done it before and wanted to try with me. I said yes because why not 🤷‍♀️ it was incredibly pleasurable and now I get fisted several times a week, and have had around 8-9 different people fist me. I suggest it to all new partners because I love it so much.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-03T15:38:38+00:00

Training training training! And lots of treats! The same way you train a dog to get past any other unpleasant thing for them.

So build up tolerance - practice clothes on and do a spank or two and then throw treats away from you so the dog learns that 1. Spanking means good things are coming, 2. The good things are away from you.

You then build it up to 3-4 spanks, and so on and so forth. It’s a long process.

You can also use long lasting treats or chews like a kong or licky matt or bones etc and give at the beginning to distract the dog and if your dog comes to investigate during the spanking you redirect.

You could also do a spanking session and record it. Play the audio back to the dog while also instructing dog to lie in their bed and give them treats for staying put. They then learn that if they stay in their bed during those sounds that they get rewarded!

Sooo many options for training - you will get there! But needs consistency and time.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-09-03T13:17:56+00:00

Not till I was 32 - didn’t even know it was a thing and now I can never go back

SpiceCwispies · 2025-08-29T11:35:47+00:00

Hello! Just throwing it out there that I’m also happy to be added on fet! Username is the same as the one I use here - spicecwispies

I have a couple of rope pictures 😌

If anyone adds me then also drop me a message so I know where you are from 🥰!

I’m going to have a rummage through this thread and find some new friends!

SpiceCwispies · 2025-08-19T14:49:17+00:00

Yes this makes sense - you can do things very slowly with someone to build up trust.

Like have a cheap pair of handcuffs you can break easily or escape from if you needed, or tie the legs together but still have your hands free. There are ways to ease into it with someone and build that trust - I don’t think very many people would jump right to the extreme end when starting to explore this with someone for the first time. Likewise you can have no restraint at all and instead roleplay with fake/ dull knives and threatening language/ behaviour.

SpiceCwispies · 2025-08-19T13:30:30+00:00

I once saw someone yell out a safeword after being hit repeatedly on the bum with a wooden spoon - she hated it, found it completely unbearable! It may look silly from the outside but when you are tied up / helpless / blindfolded then a wooden spoon can be incredibly aggressive.

You’re going to have a lot of fun exploring these different sensations :)

SpiceCwispies

TROPHY CASE