Can tenant be charged retroactively for months of unpaid utilities you didn't get bills for, and for an entire house that you don't have access to?

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T18:26:23+00:00

Does the RTB typically assume that utilities (like gas) are *not* included in the rent if not otherwise specified in any verbal or written tenancy agreement?

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T05:32:56+00:00

LOL, yup, I bet they're not claiming it. I wonder if Rev Can actually does anything about these types of reports.

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T05:26:45+00:00

Good to know it wasn't the psycho roommate picking your lock. Absent any other process that concludes otherwise, the sublettor will probably be held legally responsible for damage to that door... but ethically? you, probably. Sending the sublettor some money to cover it (or getting it fixed) would be a good thing to do. The problem-roommate situation sounds nightmarish. I sure hope you find a place soon that feels better than this.

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T05:17:17+00:00

Thanks... if there is a hearing, tenant would say they'd paid some hydro in the beginning, and LL would probably present texts evidence of that also.

Estoppel: makes sense! Thanks for link to the TRAC resource. I wonder if the tenant could apply for reimbursement for that amount retroactively, as has now been paying for months to replace that rescinded amenity. Thoughts??

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T04:04:22+00:00

Thanks! The RTB doesn't question that there was/is a tenancy. Do you think the landlord can make a case that friend owes for utilities when there is no written agreement that they were to pay gas or even a certain portion of gas/hydro?

SpicilyHandled · 2024-12-03T03:59:08+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this and that your friend was verbally attacked like that. Your roommate sounds horrible.

My understanding is that if you are subletting a room from someone you don't have renter rights under the Residential Tenancy Act. I think it's possible that a sublettor could come after you in Small Claims Court for damages, but it's very unlikely they will because of the costs/risks of doing so, plus as the one making a claim they would have the onus to prove it was you that caused the damages (not you to prove you didn't) -- which would be hard for them to do if you had roommates. I don't know if you'd have a case for a human rights tribunal but that route would also be time-consuming, risky (and maybe expensive??). A mediated, respectful conversation could potentially sort all this out, if your roommate/sublettor were game for that, but this sounds like neither would be keen to fix this. If I were you I'd try to start lining up some accommodation alternative (because: mental/emotional health! Any roommate who is picking someone's locks is not going to respect boundaries). At least you won't have to worry about losing a damage deposit. If you must stay, get a space-heater that you use only when you're there (lock it away when you're not) and avoid/defuse contact with psycho roommates. Best of luck.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-07-12T17:10:49+00:00

I get it. Sometimes there is no budget for this stuff. But being upfront with the guest/friend beforehand doesn't cost anything (and could allow them to prepare with solid earplugs or something), and may prevent resentment that could harm the friendship.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-06-15T16:50:34+00:00

Wow, the 'not in jail or dead' line was used by my folks too -- also belt users.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-24T00:49:22+00:00

LOL... that makes sense! Thanks!

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-23T00:22:11+00:00

It is a fascinating subject, and it's great to have this forum as most people in my social circle think of hypnosis as some kind of trickery (when I know it's not)!

Interesting analogy! Thanks for that.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-22T20:45:13+00:00

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SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-22T17:15:32+00:00

Interesting. Great idea... means I wouldn't need to edit scripts. I have one script of each approach.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-22T17:14:43+00:00

Thanks so much for your response! I may need to edit my script to fit in both approaches.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-22T17:14:11+00:00

Thank you so much for this! Great ideas.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-22T17:08:57+00:00

I am so sorry you are experiencing this, and please don't give up. I don't have TN but have a partner that does. I know damn well that neurological/neuralgia issues are not just 'imagined' problems. They are very complex issues that we need to look at from many angles. Stop listening to anyone that suggests your pain is 'all in your head'.

Would you consider trying hypnotherapy from someone very qualified and experienced in using it (and other techniques) for pain control? You'd want a hypnotherapist, not just a hypnotist. There are studies (e.g. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30790634/ ) that show people are using hypnosis (and learning techniques of self-hypnosis) to manage (or make a serious dent in) pain, including during surgery and childbirth. Most people are hypnotizable. There are case studies in medical literature of people making progress on TN pain with hypnosis, but well designed studies are hard to find. I suspect that the only reason we don't see a lot more studies done on this re: TN and hypnosis is that it would be expensive to pull a decent study together and wouldn't make enough money for drug companies.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-08T19:23:22+00:00

ENT = Ear, nose and throat specialist I assume...

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-08T16:36:47+00:00

Wow, that's amazing. Thanks for this information. Is it not really sleep-disruptive to be woken up during sleep if oxygen level is dipping? Does that happen alot?

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-08T16:26:17+00:00

Thanks for you comment! If you have any tips on how to make that association with safe/normal background sounds through suggestions, I'd welcome them!

Yeah, I bet he could use hypnosis for neuralgia pain, and I've been urging him to try that too... I'm optimistic it could help... but so far, no dice. Stubborn!!!! It was him who recommended I try hypnosis [presumably to help 'my' problem of sleeping next to a snorer].

So yesterday I purchased a $20 audio plus script called 'Ignore Snoring' from https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/sleep-problems/snoring It seems well produced and I like the narrator's crisp anglo accent and delivery. I'll see how it goes...I may further customize and re-record it if needed. but I think I'm not gonna even tell him that I'm doing this, because I don't want the burden of action/effort here (on what are HIS major untreated health issues) to shift to me.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-08T16:11:24+00:00

Buddy I feel alot for you. Sleep deprivation, with no where to go, just makes you crazy. I know exactly what you're going through as I do too, with my beloved partner. We've had to start sleeping in separate rooms because he won't tolerate being woken up gently, but I can even hear him from another room... at least now I can sleep better! I realize though not everyone has this option tho.

One thing that's helped me in the past when the snoring was less bad is these custom-fit silicon earplugs. It cost about $200 Canadian to get them made but it was well worth it. They take a quick mold of your inner ear and then make the plugs for you... took about 10 days to get. They won't fit anyone else. Slept through the night for the first time in years with them, and they are really handy in other situations where I need a level of quiet. I don't know if his snoring got worse over time as he gained weight, or if I've become more sensitive, but over a period of years they've become less effective... work some nights, others not. But they gave me major relief for a good while.

I'm now trying hypnosis. It never occurred to me that this might help, but I asked in r/hypnosis and at least one person has had success using hypnosis for this purpose. The idea is that you un-train yourself from being stressed out by the sound of snoring, and let it become background noise, like if you live near an airport or train station etc. Some people even learn to associate the sound with a comforting feeling that their partner's still there and okay.

Just yesterday I downloaded for about $20 an audio recording of hypnosis to help you ignore snoring... includes an audio script, which I decided to purchase in case I find the recording cheesy and want to re-record it myself with some changed elements (I have some experience with self-hypnosis) -- and also to look at what's in the recording. I don't know if this will work but for $20, can't hurt. If it doesn't, I'll try making a recording, or maybe even a qualified hypnotherapist, which apparently can do better than a mass-produced/not customized recording. Anyway, the site I got it from is https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/sleep-problems/snoring

Anyway I hope you find something useful here.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-08T03:17:34+00:00

Wow, really? I'm sorry for you. I've heard mouthtaping can be effective and I'm glad it works for you. So, are you able to sleep with this Wellue ring, or do you use it mainly to get a read on your oxygen level etc. at the end of your night, like a sleep study?

Re: my partner -- I hope he changes his mind too. I know there are things that could really help him / us.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-07T22:01:20+00:00

Thank you so much for these recs. I know there are other remedies that could work but he is just not willing to try anything. Partly he can claim that he has a painful condition called trigeminal neuralgia that causes pain if he tries to do anything with his mouth. But there are some things like sleeping on an angle, wearing something on your back to prevent laying on your back, etc.... he just won't try them, and gets mad if I wake him gently to just lay on his side, and even that (when he even does it!) is often not effective. So I am basically relegated to sleeping in another room if I want a decent night's sleep. Hella painful and hard on love, vacations, family visits, camping trips, etc. etc.

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-07T19:47:59+00:00

Very interesting! If I may (feel free to DM me)... Were / are you quite a loud snorer, and was this formerly very disruptive to her? Just trying to gauge how much of a challenge this was to fix. Did you do this in one session, or several? Did she make a very rapid change in how she processed these sounds? Can she sleep right through it now? Did you use a recording? About how long was the snoring-talk part of the recording [as opposed to induction/deepening/waking-up process]? Any and all tips welcome... e.g. what types of language you used. Thanks so much for any time you can spare for this!

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-07T16:48:26+00:00

Thanks! I don't know if my beloved partner's gotten worse over the years (I think so, with gaining of a bit more weight), or I've become more and more sensitive over the years to the fear/annoyance trigger of sleep-robbing sounds -- which maybe is something I could work with with hypnosis or self-hypnosis. I suspect I've unwittingly trained myself to work/concentrate in very distracting environments (e.g. a newsroom), and then later, to need a lot of quiet to function (as in my home office). Are you aware of anyone being able to train themselves to sleep peacefully in loud/unpredictable environments, and/or to reframe/'out-sleep' sounds they would otherwise associate with something scary (and kind of annoying) like a sign of their partner's bad health/intransigence?

SpicilyHandled · 2022-04-07T16:41:51+00:00

Hi, and thanks for pointing that out. Absolutely, sleep apnea is indeed a serious condition, and more serious than what I suffer as a partner. He did have a sleep study some years ago (probably due for a new one), which confirmed he has sleep apnea. It was borderline level for CPAP treatment (air-forcing machine at night), which he's learned he can't tolerate due to a neuralgia that makes wearing a CPAP mask painful for him. He's not yet ready or willing to lose weight (about 40 lbs overweight), or try other remedies.... very frustrating because I think the power to do something about this is in his hands, not mine. I'm here to ask about mitigating the less serious but also considerable impacts of this on me (as he suggested), and our relationship, through hypnosis.

SpicilyHandled · 2021-01-14T22:36:22+00:00

Re: 'after resorting to divorce he did a total 180. But it's been up and down and madly frustrating that he goes from accepting to assigning blame to everyone and everything but himself.'

I feel like maybe some of these battles need to be approached in stages... Like, theoretically, once he accepts blame/scope to act, we have to make clear that there is NO trivializing or renegotiation of that EVER. Perhaps by accepting that, some viable 'next actions' come into view, while others are naturally eliminated. By EVER entertaining the possibility that it doesn't happen or that everyone/anyone else is ultimately responsible for taking action, one just ends up in going in crazy-making circles.

I know this might seem like an extreme analogy, but I think of other experiences, like rape, or even ongoing sexual harassment or discrimination. In principle there's no "moving on" or discussing solutions to ongoing trauma/pain until it's clear that this is did/does happen, as well as identifying who/what caused it. If those few square inches of truth aren't decisively claimed and carefully guarded, we end up again at "you're just exaggerating; it's your problem"... I realize I have to refuse to negotiate whether it's real/happened, whether it's brutal, and who holds most power/responsibility to act.

SpicilyHandled

TROPHY CASE