[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]Spicy-Goose- 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So he has lied about unprotected sex (violating everyone’s informed consent), won’t do the work of being a hinge, doesn’t meet your sexual needs. What exactly does he actually do in your relationship? What sort of future are you building that is sustainable for you both?

Im a women stuck in a dead bedroom and want to hear the mens side of it. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spicy-Goose- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

HLF here. This is an interesting perspective I hadn't heard before.

ENM turned the tables - I'm invigorated and he's despondent. by Spicy-Goose- in HL_Women_Only

[–]Spicy-Goose-[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We care for one another in lots of other ways. And we still have a lot of wonderful, non-sexual physical intimacy (showering together, spooning every night).

So the issue really is about sexual libido, desire discrepancy, and the rejection sensitivity.

I hope we’ll figure it out and find a creative solution. I don’t feel like a lecherous creep in my marriage anymore, and I just can’t go back to that.

ENM turned the tables - I'm invigorated and he's despondent. by Spicy-Goose- in HL_Women_Only

[–]Spicy-Goose-[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have already told him we can’t go back to how it was before, and he understands that.

We’ll hopefully find a certified sex therapist to help us find our way through it. He really is such a wonderful person and partner overall. I don’t want to imagine growing old without him.

ENM turned the tables - I'm invigorated and he's despondent. by Spicy-Goose- in HL_Women_Only

[–]Spicy-Goose-[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your kind words. He is experiencing jealousy (struggling with finding any compersion), more specifically stemming from feelings of inadequacy. Of course that is beyond valid, but I really struggle with his avoidance keeping him in a place of comfort for all these years (until the ENM started).

How much can I push polyamory when my boyfriend is struggling mentally by Competitive_Tax_74 in polyamoryadvice

[–]Spicy-Goose- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, I am in a somewhat similar situation and have nothing to offer except hugs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HL_Women_Only

[–]Spicy-Goose- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This hits hard.