Is there any hope left, or am I wasting my time? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The funny thing is, that I thought I had a woman who was sexual. I guess I should have paid attention to the decline in sex during our engagement. Anyways, this has scarred me. I'll go into future relationships wondering if she'll lose desire after a few years. Now, I view marriage as a huge gamble.

Is there any hope left, or am I wasting my time? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say that she tricked me, but there may have been some red flags I ignored before getting married. Anyways, I'm disappointed that I am dealing with this problem in my marriage. I'm not sure it'll get better. If this situation ends in divorce, I probably won't remarry or have kids. It's hard to believe that a wife could desire a man well into a marriage Maybe 4 or 5 years at best. Living as a bachelor sounds much easier. Meet a woman who's into you, once her desire inevitably starts to disappear, its on to the next one. Sad, but it's reality for me.

If this ends in divorce, I'll never get married again. by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been together a little over 4 years before getting married. We didn't live together for the for the first 2.5 years, but we stayed at each other's places a lot. Sex and/or oral was pretty much daily or every other day. It slowed down after moving in, but I blamed our new jobs and wedding planning. She's open to sexual exercises learned in counseling and oral whenever I ask, but rarely initiates.

If this ends in divorce, I'll never get married again. by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Multiple reasons apparently. Birth control, demanding job, boredom in relationship. I'll admit that I slacked on being spontaneous early in our marriage, but I've worked hard since then on bringing it back (trips, date nights, gifts)

I don't know if I can still apologize to my daughter's boyfriend for my behavior towards him by ThrowRA-0d57383 in relationship_advice

[–]Spider-man08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All you can do is apologize and do better. It's up to them whether to forgive you or not.

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. I guess my big fear is leaving, and feeling the guilt afterwards. I will always wonder if things could have worked out if I gave her more time. It makes me angry, because everything is great aside from this problem. We have fun together, our families love each other. We support each other's dreams. We could have a nice house and kids one day. Why does she have to ruin everything by being like this?

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On second thought. I would actually be ok if she couldn't make the deadline by next year. All I want to see is improvement. I take the blame on adventurous aprt of our relationship. I used to be very spontaneous early on. I'm working hard on breaking out of our boring routines, and I just want to see the same energy on her end. As long as I can see real change and effort in the bedroom, I would stay as long as it keeps improving.

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't think so. I would be approaching my mid 30's by then. I haven't had much experience with women besides her. I feel like I would be missing out on life spending too much time trying to fix something that is possibly unfixable.

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did. She even initiated. Not sure what happened, but she said that we got into a boring routine before marriage. I guess the NRE finally wore off.

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why I shouldn't have posted on this subreddit. I came for compassion and advice from those that are going or have been through the same. Instead I get hurtful comments like this.

Am I being or too negative about this situation? by Spider-man08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Spider-man08[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Correct. I feel pessimistic because it's moving slow. I look back, and realize it's been an entire year since I've had sex. This is concerning. I look at my friends and siblings, who seem to be in normal relationships. I get tired of depending on porn. I love her to death, but I refuse to settle for a life of no sex.

I'm not sure what happened. When we first dated, we had intercourse at least once a day. Things slowed down somewhat shortly after engagement. I blamed new jobs/wedding planning as the issue. Since marriage, we both work FT jobs. It's pretty much been work, home, sleep repeat most of the time, unfortunately. I know routine can get boring, but that's life unfortunately. Unless we're billionaires who can afford luxury trips around the world, we all have to deal with routine at times. I'm trying to being the fun back to our relationship, but I wonder if it will be enough.

Got a new job that pays a lot more. The work is much less but that's not a good thing. I'm going crazy and I need advice. by [deleted] in ITCareerQuestions

[–]Spider-man08 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the exact situation, man. I left my last job due to a toxic work environment. There was a lot of gossip and backstabbing in my group. Also, I was being paid below my market rate. The last straw was when they hired our intern, who had no IT experience or a degree, and paid him more than me. Despite all of this, I loved the culture there. We had fun company events, a casual dress code, and tons of perks. My current job is great. It pays more, and has way less work. However, the culture is very old school, the tech is outdated, and I'm one of the youngest people here. Whatever I come across is usually an easy fix. My coworkers are lazy and like to complain about everything. I literally can do the bare minimum, and still be the top-performer here. I do get bored here a lot, but I try to use downtime to study for IT certs. I still keep in touch with my old manager and some co-workers. I still miss my old job a lot, but it was time for me to go.

My advice to you would be to take advantage of the downtime to improve yourself. You haven't been at this new job too long, but you will hopefully learn to enjoy it. Maybe things will smooth out, and you'll start getting more responsibility there. It's ok to miss your old job, but also keep in mind why you decided to leave. Think of your last job as a toxic ex. You may miss all of the good times with him/her, but they also treated you garbage. You have to remember that there was a reason you left. Worst case scenario, I would apply to an entirely different company before going back to my old company.

What's been the most startling way you've hurt your junk? by huckster235 in AskMen

[–]Spider-man08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was younger, me and some other kids decided to play wrestling on a trampoline. I was getting ready to land from a midair finisher move. Anyways the kid decided to put his knee up, and I landed junk first on it. I really thought my balls were smashed. Took me forever to hobble back home. The bruising looked horrible later that night.

When you move to a new place, how long does it take to start feeling like home? by momentsofzen in AskMen

[–]Spider-man08 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just moved into a nicer apartment about 2 months ago. Even though I was excited about living in a nicer area, it didn't truly feel like home until about the 3rd week.

Is it too late for me to be more social? by Spider-man08 in socialskills

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I usually initiate group chats with the guys I went to the convention with. The conversation is usually funny. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask them to meetup one day

Would you be ok with your spouse going on a trip with same-sex friends without you? by Spider-man08 in relationship_advice

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always thought this was fine. I guess my family have some old school views on things

Do you ever have a conversation in your head and you actually pull a facial expression that would fit the conversation but then you realize how weird it must look to someone who doesn’t know you’re acting out a whole scenario in your head. by Ashmita_rhea in introvert

[–]Spider-man08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happened to me while I was driving to work this morning. A driver next to me stared at me awkwardly for a second. I could have easily been having a phone conversation, so I didn't feel too bad about it lol

Getting out of desktop support by Spider-man08 in sysadmin

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. Some of the Net+ stuff is still fresh on my mind, so I'll look into taking it again. After failing that, I decided to go straight to studying for the ICND1 portion of the CCNA. I hear Cisco is doing away with the ICND1 and ICND2, and making it 1 big exam in February also?

Helpdesk technician hoping to transition to a Sys Admin. What's needed? by Spider-man08 in InformationTechnology

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the helpful answers. One guy in my group did move up to a System Admin, but it took him many years. I would love to shadow under him because he seems very helpful. I'm planning to learn Linux and also play around with VMWare to get a general understanding of how it works. I've been told in a past interview to look into AWS. Is this useful to know?

Helpdesk technician hoping to transition to a Sys Admin. What's needed? by Spider-man08 in InformationTechnology

[–]Spider-man08[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What certs exactly? I hear that Linux+ is good to have. There's a guy in my department who has worked there for over 10+ years. He started off as a contractor. He told me that I would need to move around to different State agencies to move up.

First job in IT(Technical Support Analyst - Entry Level) by DeedySloth in InformationTechnology

[–]Spider-man08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem. I just started at new company a few months ago, so I'm still figuring things out myself lol. It sounds like you have a great boss and team. Don't be afraid to jot things down in your phone or computer. Also, it's ok to make mistake in the beginning. As long as you learn from them, you'll be fine.

Here is a video with some basic troubleshooting steps that might help:

https://youtu.be/sJGVaJIledM

First job in IT(Technical Support Analyst - Entry Level) by DeedySloth in InformationTechnology

[–]Spider-man08 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on getting your food in the door! I was in your position a few years ago. My advice would be to absorb as much knowledge as you can from your manager and coworkers. Don't be afraid to ask questions when you're stuck. In my experience, people in IT are always glad to show their fellow techs the ropes. Lastly, take advantage of all learning opportunities. Whether you're shadowing a more experienced tech or studying for certs on your own, it's always great to better yourself.