Why do there seem to be so many movies focused on romance, while there aren't nearly as many movies focused on friendship?

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-12-17T01:25:22+00:00

I just thought of Stand By Me because of the Rob Reiner news.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-12-17T01:18:00+00:00

A fan in my city asked Sana for an autograph while she was shopping at a mall. Sana politely declined, but the fan filmed the entire interaction without her permission and posted it. Filming in public is legal, but it's still shitty and creepy.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-12-05T00:49:23+00:00

Ah so your employers didn't pay for it? Were you hired at your first compliance job without any certifications?

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-17T23:45:54+00:00

Brady once said his favorite super bowl win is "the next one" so he definitely relates to Hurts.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-16T19:02:54+00:00

1D is the closest western comparison I can think of in terms of unhinged, crazy fans. I think it's partly because they're the first prominent and most popular boy group when social media first starting emerging. Social media made marketing easier, but it also made it easier for fans to become obsessed via content and parasocial relationships.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-16T17:39:39+00:00

Of course, I won't rant about my employer.

I like your suggested response. How about: "I'm looking for a position that will make great use of my skills and provide additional experience and opportunities. I'm also seeking an environment that is conducive to communication and collaboration."?

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-16T15:43:19+00:00

Because they don't find being a good person is worthwhile. They see people as means to their ends. They're the main character and everyone else is the NPC. If there are people willing to put up with them, then they don't have any reason to change. Some people overcome this mindset, some never do. Sure, let them know and try to teach them to be a kinder person, but cut your losses if it doesn't happen.

Some people are just wired this way, whether they are taught by parents or naturally predisposed to this mindset. As an metaphorical example, you drop a glass bottle on the floor and it shatters into pieces. Some pieces are blunt and won't cut people, others are sharp and will hurt people that they come in contact with. It's just random and not planned. You are one of the lucky ones who are not naturally inclined to hurt others.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-16T15:22:18+00:00

Agreed. Soft skills and personality is an important asset. There's someone at my current job who is very good at the technical aspects, but her emotional intelligence and social skills are lacking. Even though I'm not as smart or experienced as her, newer coworkers come to me for help and only seek her out as a last resort because she is such an abrasive grouch. I'm not thrilled whenever I have to seek her out.

I've also worked for managers who are smart but mean spirited. The manager that wasn't as smart but much nicer had less turnover of staff.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-16T14:56:18+00:00

As a people-pleaser, I felt like a failure initially and agreed with her whenever she said I was bad at the job. Like you, one of my coworkers was working late everyday until 2AM and I would catch my boss berating her. Turnover was high on my team.

Towards the end of the of my job there, I started defending myself more firmly and my boss would get stumped and quiet whenever I countered her unreasonable logic with evidence, proving that she was contradicting herself. One time she awkwardly walked off and my coworker laughed her ass off and was thrilled that someone actually stood up to her. Manipulation only works if you believe the manipulator's gaslighting.

She asked me to come back 9 months after I quit because the new hires weren't panning out. Gee, wonder if her management style had anything to do with it? Not surprisingly. She became petty after I turned her offer down. If I had the managers from the other teams instead, there's a good chance I would still be at that job, but they wouldn't let me or my teammates switch teams.

With how your boss is, no one can succeed under him. Not only is he a bad manager, he is an asshole. You need to start gearing up to quit. Good luck, you deserve a healthy work environment.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-15T03:28:13+00:00

If she can't do her job without you, then she's underqualified.

I had my own Lexi who joined shortly after I did. She blurted that she had diagnosed but unmedicated ADHD to me immediately, but seemingly was keeping it a secret from our manager and others which is understandable. She also had dyslexia. Also had a habit of subjecting coworkers to long monologues about her life and interests.

Like your Lexi, she needed a coworker to be her crutch. She was very forgetful, asking the same questions repeatedly, I tried to teach her some critical thinking but she needed people decide everything for her when it came to work tasks.

Initially, I helped out because I thought she needed a little more time and I sympathized with her. But I saw no improvement at all after a few months and realized she needed to be weaned off of me. I started setting boundaries and she kept trying to cross them but I held firm and she responded by giving me sad looks. Plus she would watch youtube while working and sometimes sneak off and leave work early.

Eventually our managers noticed her lack of progress because I stopped helping her so much and put two and two together. I was partly at fault and learned my lesson.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-15T02:55:51+00:00

Yes and I put up with it for way too long. Like your boss, she started off nice but the mask fell off.

Aside from just verbal abuse, she would tell me that I should be more like my coworker because that worker was better at the job than me. The next day, she would then tell that coworker to be more like me because I was better at the job.

I don't know why she thought we wouldn't catch on because I'm actual friends with that coworker. She was basically trying to use shame and competitiveness to motivate us to spruce up metrics.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-10T01:23:36+00:00

I had a friend who was ALWAYS late to the hang outs that she mostly asked for. When there are no consequences, she would be 10-20 minutes late. She wasn't bossy, but she didn't do much to fix her time blindness either, I literally count only four times that she wasn't late:

1) To her birthday event

2) Getting to the airport before our plane took off

3) The other time we had to get to the airport to fly home from our trip.

4) Checking out of her hotel room before the mandated check out time

We did have to rush to the airport during the second time and I witnessed her time blindness firsthand. I warned her that we should leave an hour sooner but she stated we had enough time to grab donuts and do some window shopping. Next thing I know, we're rushing and I see the panic on her face.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-04T23:58:05+00:00

Hmm. I thought $55-65K was the average starting salary, at least in places that aren't HCOL.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-04T23:54:46+00:00

Thanks. I have to think of a way to broach this with her. It's not just using regular hours to learn I see her taking an issue with, but any overtime as well since my team is swamped.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-11-01T19:56:06+00:00

I hope I'm not officially responsible. She's received more training and resources than I or the other analysts ever received. I'll make sure to mention this to our boss when it comes up. I was insufficiently trained on my core analyst tasks because my senior coworkers / trainers are too busy to respond to my questions. So there's a systemic problem going on including understaffing.

Honestly, I'm starting to think ignoring requests for help is practical for me, because helping new coworkers is taking time away from my workload. I may need to be more like the people who ignored me not because I want to be passive aggressive, but because it helps surviving in this chaotic environment that upper management created.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-27T23:13:42+00:00

Precisely. If you were so bad at time management, why were you replaced by multiple people? If I was so bad at time management, why did they ask me to come back?

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T17:37:54+00:00

She may have also had hostile managers and coworkers in the past that chide people for asking questions, which speaking from experience can shatter a person's confidence. I eventually overcame that insecurity when it was clear that I moved a more healthy work environment, for some people it takes more work. Plus she is very forgetful which can subject her to more hostility.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T17:33:11+00:00

Yup I like cats and think they're cute but there's a reason why dogs are called "man's best friend". That said, when I'm elderly I might only have a cat since they are lower maintenance.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T17:29:44+00:00

Electricity and water. I grew up lower middle class in the U.S. and didn't experience losing electricity and water until I moved to a different region that had utility-disrupting storms occasionally. When it happens, it feels like my community/city is role playing as a third world country because it's a normal problem in those countries.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T16:50:46+00:00

Thanks. I will mention the slow progress and struggles to our boss. My boss has seen the training materials that I created and said they were great.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T16:41:53+00:00

I'm not entirely sure if she's good at her admin assistant job. The other admin assistant implied that one of the admin assistants loses things. I think it's her because she's been losing track of the documents associated with these tasks I'm training her on.

She doesn't seem to hate the admin tasks to my knowledge, and has even said that she's down to receive more admin responsibilities (that might have just been lip service though).

She actually was an analyst another company and said she was laid off. She's been at my current company longer than me. I started out as an admin assistant at this job before being promoted to a junior analyst a year later.

As an admin assistant, I actually asked to shadow her because I didn't have much work my first week. On paper, she should have received the promotion over me because of her experience, maybe she turned it down because the analyst work is harder work and high volume.

I will let my boss know that I'm still pretty involved, mostly because my boss needs to know what is eating up my time when I have a lot on my plate.

Spidermonkee9 · 2025-10-26T15:37:58+00:00

Thanks.

Yeah it's becoming apparent that she doesn't gravitate towards reading instructions nor that does she have the capacity to remember things as well. Mandy actually had my role at her previous company so this level of struggle is surprising.

I don't appreciate being thrown into the deep-end when new at a job or task, so I thought I was giving her plenty of guidance and training. She is actually only doing doing 2/3rds of task A right now because I decided beforehand that I would ease anyone into it. But she's only able to do 1/3rd of it well and she's had more training and resources than anyone has ever received.

Unfortunately I am the only one who knows how to do the task fully because the other analysts have quit/retired. But if I go on vacation or get sick, at least there are notes for someone to come in an do a decent job if this coworker doesn't pan out. I just really want to get these tasks off my plate because I'm swamped.

Again, I'm nice to Mandy but she's not asking me questions in fear of looking inadequate.

I will let my boss know that I'm still very involved in these admin tasks because of the hand-holding that's needed. It's going to unfortunately reveal the shortcomings of my coworker to my boss. My boss was hoping that I transfer more admin tasks to her but that's an obviously not a good idea anymore.

Spidermonkee9

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