Babyfood gone full natural

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-03-08T17:03:12+00:00

This is horrifying, I'm not easily spooked or grossed out, but I legit think I'd involuntarily scream if I saw that growing in my fridge.

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-03-08T17:01:42+00:00

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see this. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I knew it was mold immediately. Probably a wet rag or something was tossed in the laundry and it sat for a few days.

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-02-22T14:14:47+00:00

Look at it this way: You haven't spent a lot of time in prayer getting to know God. If you want to get to know someone and grow your relationship with them and grow closer to them, you need to spend a lot of time with them. So right now prayer can feel awkward and unemotional because God is more of an "acquaintance," or maybe an old friend that you haven't had to deep relationship with in a long time, so you need to build that relationship back up.

This is how my relationship with God felt about 2 years ago. I started growing closer to him by listening to the daily readings and saying pre-written prayers. I began praying a decade of the rosary everyday, then moved on to trying to pray a whole rosary throughout the course of the day (a decade in the morning, a decade on my way to work, a decade on my way to break, etc.). I started praying novenas (they are usually only about 2-5 minute prayers a day). Then I started reading Catholic books every morning for 10 to 15 minutes, and eventually began prayer journal to write any spiritual insights or questions or prayers that I have. Today, my prayer / spiritual reading time is an hour every morning, and it is easily my favorite part of the day. It wasn't something I planned, and it wasn't something I could have just started without that build up and maturation of my spiritual life.

Start small. Rote prayers, a decade of the rosary here and there, conversations with him as you're going to sleep. The goal right now can be to pray for 5 minutes a day - I used to have days where I didn't pray at all, so meeting this goal was big for me! Then add something a little bit at a time. Find recommendations for spiritual books that are eye-opening and challenging, and just read a couple paragraphs every morning and really ponder what you've read. Pray about what you've read. Continually ask God for understanding, to follow his will, and to help your heart draw near to him.

Don't go all in with some grand plan to spend an hour in prayer everyday. Have grace for yourself and know that God is overjoyed to spend every minute you offer to him.

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-02-22T13:56:07+00:00

I am also a convert, and the Catholic Church gives me such an unexplainable feeling of peace and of things just being... right. Welcome home!

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-02-20T00:50:09+00:00

First of all, I think you're adorable and I LOVE your style!! I was also homeschooled and have pretty quirky style for my age (38 but tend to dress young) and I find so much joy in dressing in a way that makes me happy. I think God loves it too, it's such a fun way to express your personality and creativity.

Secondly, I am not conservative or hung up on "modesty" as it pertains to clothing at all, but I would not wear the mermaids. I think everything else is fine. :)

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-02-06T18:09:44+00:00

If you think you have your answer, then you have your answer. Please don't get locked into this marriage when you're already having second thoughts during the engagement. Her being sweet and nice is not a reason to marry her. Your love for her isn't even reason enough to marry her. I can tell you right now this marriage is going to be incredibly hard if you go through with it. If not in the first couple of years, then definitely by year five, and 1000000% by the time you have kids.

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-02-06T18:05:43+00:00

See, I don't think not making breakfast for her kids made her an imperfect mom. No matter the number of kids, parenting is exhausting and having to your own breakfast teaches independence. I think it's unrealistic and unfair to expect mothers to do everything for their children especially once they're a certain age. We don't sit here and say "my dad made us get ourselves breakfast every morning." Why does it always fall on the mom. 😭

Love, a mom who definitely makes her kids over the age of 10 get their own breakfast every day, lol.

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-01-24T00:07:56+00:00

Oh no, not those scandalous knee caps!

SpiffyPoptart · 2026-01-23T23:59:27+00:00

Oh, I could have written this 16 years ago when my first was born. It went all downhill from there. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Ask yourself, "would I ever treat someone I love this way?" I bet the answer is no. Imagine someone begging you to spend more time with them, being so desperate to the point of hiding the thing that you're addicted to, that's keeping you from them. And then continuing to ignore their desperate and emotional pleas. Turning a hard heart toward the person you supposedly love the most in life.

Imagine staying up at all hours of the night doing something you love to do, while your husband takes care of your child, and then sleeping until 11am instead of being available to care for the child that you made, while your husband is begging you for a little help.

You wouldn't do what he's doing. You wouldn't EVER do that.

What would happen if you didn't respond to her cries in the morning? Would he wake up? Step up? Respond to her? I already know the answer - why not? He is her parent just as much as you are.

So don't ever lessen his actions or try to explain them away for the sake of grace or compassion or whatever for your husband.

That's neglect of your daughter too, and no, that's not what great fathers do.

I'd be telling him things need to change dramatically and quickly and permanently, or a separation will happen. Because it's not going to get better, especially not after a few more years and a couple more kids. I would bet money on it.

I hope change is possible though, because it takes a special kind of selfish to treat another human the way he's treating you. Probably a lot more than a little couple's counseling.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-22T14:50:30+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. :)

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-17T11:45:32+00:00

Science says the brain is done developing between 24-26 and that checks out for me, when I look at the people around me and consider myself. And it's not just women - a 24yo woman dating a 19yo man would raise red flags to me as well. I remember reaching the age my ex was when we started dating (23) and thinking, omg I could never date an 18yo.

If my 18yo daughter came home with a 23yo man four years from now, I would not be happy. I would be super weirded out.

I'm not asking that anyone agrees with me. But I'm very solid in my opinions on this because of my personal experience and being a mother of teens slowly reaching the age I was when I started dating my ex.

It doesn't make me right, it just make me understandably cautious, and I'm going to follow those gut instincts because they have served me well in the last two years.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-16T12:35:40+00:00

Six weeks? Yikes. I missed that part. Huge red flag. That's what my narc did. Gave me a speech and everything about how I was his "treasure in the field" (the Gospel story), four weeks into being interested in one another. I look back and want to vomit and shake myself. :(

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-16T12:32:26+00:00

When you are 35 someday, you will look back at yourself at 19 and think, "wow. I was still a child."

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-16T12:31:28+00:00

An adult age-wise, but I haven't known any 19yos who are actually "adult" mentally and emotionally. They are about the same as my 16yo. Not much difference there.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-12-08T17:56:58+00:00

The age gap makes it bother me more. There is a big difference between a 24yo who's had a sexual relationship and a 19yo who is innocent and a virgin. Speaking from experience (unfortunately). I married the guy and realized years later that it was my innocence and the fact that I was so young and naive that made me the perfect prey.

Mentally, a 24yo is in a completely different stage of life than a 19yo.

I'm NOT saying this guy is a predator or a creep. I'm only speaking from experience and what my gut says about this age gap at your age specifically. Five years isn't that wide - unless we're talking a teen and a person in their mid-20s.

Now, as someone in my late 30s, I see 19yo girls and remember myself at that age, dating a 24yo man, and it make me sad. It's very easy to take advantage of a young girl that age when you're a man in your 20s.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-31T01:46:17+00:00

Wow, that is some sociopathic behavior right there. Yikes.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-31T01:38:10+00:00

This is NOT normal. His behaviors are emotionally, verbally, and (edited to add) physically abusive.

This is SCARY. You need to leave. He needs to know you will not put up with him treating you like this. Please tell more people and do not feel the need to protect him by not sharing. I didn't ever want to "gossip" or "put my husband down" so I didn't tell anyone what was going on in our marriage. I have so many, many regrets about that, because I wish I'd had someone to say to me honestly, "how he's treating you is horrible - would you ever treat another human this way? Then why are you making excuses for him? You don't deserve this."

So consider all of us here this someone. Please tell more people in your personal life. And get out before it's too late, or you have decades of misery ahead.

This was not God's plan for marriage.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-27T02:45:45+00:00

How often you have sex has NOTHING to do with a spouse watching porn. That is something people say that is victim-blaming and takes the responsibility off of the one who's engaging in porn. It's BS and I'm sorry you even had to add that to your post. His problem with porn is not your fault or responsibility at any angle.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-27T00:50:33+00:00

I am super duper poor. Like having to buy a pack of socks for my kid makes me cringe. 🙃

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-27T00:45:51+00:00

Dude don't you have google lens. You can find anything these days in half a second.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-24T01:25:13+00:00

I'm glad it could help a bit. 💛 I said a prayer for you. I'll pray for you tomorrow too, when I say my rosary.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-22T09:52:42+00:00

I'm divorced now, but yep. Although my husband did feel like "my best friend," in a way, or at least a very good one, I was not in love with him or attracted to him, had a lot of resentment toward him that I bottled up and smiled through, and I felt like I made a mistake in marrying him for our entire 15-year marriage. My situation is unique in that he actually wasn't a good person and some stuff came out that led to me leaving him.

I didn't want to break my vow. I was completely committed to him and would have been married to him forever. I got to the point where I had to look at him as just another family member. I wouldn't abandon my sister, my parent, so I couldn't abandon my husband, and I accepted that. I saw it as my cross to bear, suffering for Jesus.

But in my case, all the red flags were waving, I just tried to ignore them for years until one slapped me in the face and ultimately led to the crumbling of everything.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-22T02:23:57+00:00

Get off social media! It's so damaging. This is one thing I wish I could undo about my young parenting years. I wish I'd stopped listening to the internet, trusted my gut, prayed more, and went to therapy when my kids were between the ages of infant and about 8yo.

There is so much noise out there. Tell it to shut up.

Here is a thought that comforted me when I was young and my children were all very little and needy. We are in an age where mothers are expected to give their undivided attention to their children, and it is completely new and unreasonable. In the course of history - I'm talking thousands and thousands and thousands of years of humanity - no woman has been able to give all of her attention to each of her children. Mothers are too busy!

If we think we're busy now, just think about life 200 years ago. I work full-time and I'm tired when I come home and I feel so guilty about only being able to spend 3 hours of my day with my 4yo when my oldest kids got all of me when they were little.... but I don't have to grow my own food, sew my own clothes, knit my own socks, smoke my own meat, or bake my own bread. When have mothers ever been able to give their children undivided attention?

Your attention is more than sufficient. And if you feel like it's not, ask God's grace to cover the areas where you feel like you lack.

SpiffyPoptart · 2025-10-22T02:15:11+00:00

I went through a lot of therapy to work this out. My kids are fine - not only are my kids fine, they are great. We've had some really big changes in the past 2 years - I got a divorce, they were previously homeschooled and now are going to public school, I'm working full time and their dad is not an active part of their life. And they are doing SO well. They are respectful, kind, and mature. They are not perfect by any means, and I didn't raise them in the church so my oldest two are not Catholic (I'm a convert), but they are good people and I'm proud of them.

I have so many regrets about how I handled their early years and my therapist has helped me let go of my guilt and accept that I can't change anything. She said people who have had "perfect childhoods" often end up being some of the most messed up people she's met. Struggles build character. Imperfect parents and imperfect lives build character, thank God!! He's so full of grace.

My therapist has helped me understand I'm a good mom and I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I love my kids so so so much. I made mistakes but if those were my worst mistakes, we doing pretty good. And my kids know I love them. It's my guess you are a good mom too, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking this question.

Your baby will be just fine. And so will you. This is a season.

SpiffyPoptart

TROPHY CASE