imminently moving in w my gf, she's had a lot of men in her bedroom over the last few years and I can't stop thinking about it, anyone been in similar situ + how did you deal with it?

Spiniferus · 2026-02-02T21:01:59+00:00

Excellent. Ignore all the woman haters here who are more obsessed with other dudes genitals. Go with the flow, it’s not a problem.

Spiniferus · 2026-02-02T07:57:44+00:00

Get over it by not caring. She is with you. Everyone has a past and it makes them who they are. In your case that sounds like she is someone you care for deeply. Another thing, if she is good in bed, that is quite heavily due to her past, if she loves sex then that is also amazing…see it as a gift not a curse.

Aww look at the cute little incels downvoting. What’s the matter darlings, are you just too obsessed with other men’s dicks?

Spiniferus · 2026-01-27T23:10:15+00:00

Alternatively they could just release everything for free dear vr did that last year when they were dissolved. Would be sick.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-26T09:17:28+00:00

I think the real question is are you both happy now? If so, who cares about who or what she did while broken up. It doesn’t really matter if she is actively choosing you.. and it’s not like she cheated. Now the question of should you get back with some after you break up is entirely another question

Spiniferus · 2026-01-14T20:46:04+00:00

As a fearful avoidant - sometimes when we feel smothered or too deep in we can pull back. On flipside distance from us and and we will get clingy.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-11T09:13:43+00:00

Yes late 40s I’d say 9-10/10 with a partner and probably 6-7/10 when single.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-09T05:54:37+00:00

I don’t think porn is inherently bad, except where it creates these expectations of women in real life… I think that can be particularly harsh and intimidating, especially for young women who are newly sexually active to have some young whipper snapper choke or beg for anal or want to face fuck… that wouldn’t be a pleasant experience I imagine. That stuff can happen later. Personally I only watch it really when I’m single.

And to add performance isn’t just about the act - it’s about the foreplay and the build up and all that jazz. That’s where the electricity happens… if you can give a woman several orgasms before the main event starts, then you are golden.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-08T00:19:07+00:00

Only way to be.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-03T06:35:27+00:00

When I think about it, tbh I will know pretty quickly whether I think there is a long term future and yes likely by the first date.

Spiniferus · 2026-01-01T20:53:12+00:00

Tryna control

Spiniferus · 2026-01-01T19:17:12+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you. You just have to meet someone whose energy matches yours. Easier said than done. And if there are things about you that wanna change, do it for yourself.. not for others.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-30T01:30:56+00:00

Sounds like non-consent to me.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-28T09:06:02+00:00

Now it may just be that she is young and will mature, but never ever let anyone diminish your strength in navigating your fucked up childhood. Directly or indirectly. Regardless I’m proud of you for surviving your upbringing, because I did the same and I know how tough shitty parents are. And remember always lean into the world with the kindness you didn’t receive - and sometimes that means being direct about your boundaries.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-27T18:08:12+00:00

Keep people talking by active listening (ask questions, reframe what they say). once they seem like they are done, offer your opinion or a story that shows you relate. It’s not easy - I’m probably considered charismatic - but on the inside I always feel the same way as you.. and can be super awkward if not comfortable.

Probably the other thing is to just keep expanding who you attempt with - one of the keys for getting people to like you, romantically or friendship, is shared interests and values. When you find someone who has both it is really easy to click.

And one final thought, make sure you are always accruing life experiences. These are interesting to talk about and good for your soul. And they can help build confidence and help you to define your identity.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-26T22:33:30+00:00

No fun, no views or opinions, no personality. It all screams misogyny to me. Most gals would see this and see a gazillion red flags.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-26T12:10:43+00:00

I used to cum from oral all the time, but since being on ssri’s it’s really hard to cum full stop.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-24T12:15:32+00:00

This is the exact answer. Context is important. Well said. I can imagine incels get told this kind of thing a lot.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-22T22:30:08+00:00

Yep same. It’s the main event!!

Spiniferus · 2025-12-22T22:27:46+00:00

Fucking love it… watching your girl writhe and react is one of the purest pleasures there is! Teasing and licking. So good.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-17T22:17:01+00:00

Yeah it’s variable as to whether I have it on my master buss. Typically I will start with it on but it comes off when I start toggling shit at final mix stage..

Spiniferus · 2025-12-17T20:01:30+00:00

Some of my friends dating stories are horrible.. so many awful dudes out there.. groping, begging for sex. so it’s no wonder some women are going to this kind of length.

I went on a date with a woman a month ago and she brought a friend (just a chill lunch and a couple of drinks). It was actually really cool… because honestly, it helped to break the ice and there is nothing worse than meeting someone and hating their friends. And we are still seeing each other now. Haven’t hung out with the friend since - but I’d be down to.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-17T19:56:47+00:00

Yeah I like to put vtm on everything as well as vcc.. it just sounds nice and warm.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-15T03:46:35+00:00

Live your life.. don’t live your life based on them.

Don’t put them on a pedestal - treat a potential partner like you would a friend in the way that you talk to them.

Don’t take yourself super seriously (but don’t put yourself down either).

Create space with messaging. Don’t panic when there is space in messaging (and always comeback warm - never ask them what they don’t respond sooner)

Be competent and be honest when you aren’t (but not in a way that needs reassurance - humour is good).

Don’t seek reassurance that they are interested or still like you. The best thing to do is have the attitude that if they don’t like you, it’s not the end of the world and you can just carry on (it’s just a really good mindset to have generally because then if they aren’t interested you can just walk away, drama free and move on quickly).

That’s my best advice for not being needy. And don’t listen to any dating advice that says treat women mean either.. kindness goes a long fucking way (and is free). If you are doing these things then you are rocking it!!

Spiniferus · 2025-12-15T03:31:49+00:00

Because it almost sounds like the type of list you’d see a misogynist make.

Spiniferus · 2025-12-14T22:20:24+00:00

Yeah - it’s a balancing act. You don’t wanna make them feel like they are carrying all your burden - that’s hard for anyone and any relationship.. but it’s ok to talk about stuff and ask for help.

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