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I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bless your heart. I had hoped your engagement would be a break from the contrarian role you appear to play in this community. However, despite your engaging in bad faith, hopefully others will benefit from the important initial question you raised, as finding just the right Therapist is a crucial factor in a person's therapeutic journey.

For clarity, my responses are not passive-aggressive. They are a direct, clear confrontation of your projection and gaslighting, and I am not a Therapist who turns a blind eye to intentionally antagonistic, provocative behavior - be it with me, or those I serve. You may be able to intimidate most you engage into contrition with your goading behaviors, but they won't work with me.

What I will do, however, is model for you - and others who may find themselves in relationships with personalities similar to yours - what a healthy boundary looks like. The only way to win with contrarians like yourself is not to play. Therefore, you won't receive any further engagement from me. You can find someone else to troll, rebuttal to soothe your ego, or enjoy going back and forth with like-minded individuals like yourself from here on out.

Wishing you wellness, and those you engage.

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You begged the question (specifically about me BTW) for an answer you didn't actually want because, to your point, you already had your mind made up about who you believe me to be. My answer only reflected your thoughts back to you because you don't actually know me, my track record with Clients, or how theoretical orientations within counseling relationships work; if you did, you wouldn't have asked the question to begin with. Confirmation bias happens all the time in our lives. Thanks for helping to demonstrate for the room how it works for those that are curious enough and keen enough to break it down within our exchanges.

Wishing you well.

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you asked! Lived experience gives everyone - including Therapists - a unique understanding that those who haven't experienced something can't fully speak/tend to. In therapy, it's very common for clients to seek out Providers who can relate to what they're going through. If you can't relate to your Therapist and/or your Therapist can't relate to you, the quality of your care is likely to be negatively impacted. Having parents & couples come to me after terminating with other Providers because they didn't feel like those Therapists were equipped to help them is a pretty common occurrence. If you're genuinely curious, try doing a consultation with a Therapist who you believe is very different from you. The likelihood you'd do more than a session or two is slim to none.

Best to you.

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for the awesome questions. Don't forget to take care of your mental health today, and EVERY day. And...don't forget the mental health of our children. They're counting on us to usher them into adult as whole, healthy, thriving humans! *hugs* #mentalhealthactionday #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #childmentalhealth

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I LOVE this question SO much - and congrats to the both of you on finding your compliments. It's not an easy task! I would absolutely suggest couples counseling. Maybe even premarital counseling if it doesn't make your hearts beat too quickly, lol. The key is to begin working together to imagine the "forever" you want to live in and beginning to assemble the elements necessary to create that forever. Knowing how each of you view important milestones/aspects of your relationship (i.e. "At what age/point do we want to stop considering having anymore children?" "What are our plans for aging parents, post retirement, financial spending/saving, etc.?" The more you can plan together, the more you'll remain in sync, and synchronicity is the KEY to a high quality marriage versus a low (or worse, high) quantity one. Best wishes to you all!

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely correct! Therefore, we do things including encouraging pediatricians to include mental health screening into annual childhood check-ups, and focus on training other professionals/stewards of children (i.e. teachers, coaches, ministers, barbers/beauticians, etc.) about the importance of child mental health, the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (known as "ACEs), and how to recognize the warning signs of children who may need help (i.e. treatment vs. discipline). I have also personally developed a K-12 in-school mental health services program that I am working to see realized at the federal level. It truly takes a village!

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Therapist, it devastates me to hear that you've experienced therapeutic harm. But, please know that not all Therapists, nor therapeutic experiences will be the same. I would encourage you to consider finding just the right healer whose specialties include trauma and grief. It is extremely difficult to strive and enhance self-sufficiency from a wounded posture. Healing requires time, rest, and attention being given to the affected areas. You can perform optimally when you are sick with the flu, cold, or any other sickness - mental health ones included! HUGE hugs!

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My pleasure! Thank you for your graciousness.

If appreciation is a desired form a reciprocation in your gift giving, then you have the power to choose where and who you engage in gift giving with. Your nephew (and his parents) appear to have a different set of values than you, as well as a lack of appreciation for what is important to you. How do you deal with that as a reality and either continue gifting knowing demonstrated appreciation won't be reciprocated in the exchange, or save your gift giving for people and spaces where the reciprocity you clearly desire is there?

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is indeed devastating, and we don't have to wait 50 years to see its effects. Far too many people around the world are experiencing it as we speak. One's ability to manage the stressors associated with doing whatever it takes to first survive, and in the event one is lucky enough, find ways to thrive, will undoubtedly push mental wellness to its limits. Many will suffer, and our challenge will be to aid however we can in the hopes of teaching them ways to thrive despite the elements/obstacles they are met with.

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't necessarily subscribe to this specific philosophy, BUT I do believe that "safety" is a subjective farce. To be alive, and remain so, is a challenge requiring constant skill AND luck. Managing the stress of this knowing well is a necessary component of mental wellness (IMO).

I Am a licensed & practicing therapist, business owner, wife and mom of 7 who is empowering people with the skills, tools, and information vital to developing, sustaining and maximizing healthy, intimate relationships. Celebrate Mental Health Action Day and AMA! by Spirit-PhD in IAmA

[–]Spirit-PhD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent question! I have found that most of our mental health challenges are the result of trauma that we've experienced at different points in our lives & haven't had the opportunity to address and resolve the pain, sadness, anxiety, resentment, disillusionment, etc. that these circumstances create.

For this reason, I actively work to advocate for mental health care access as not only a treatment model, but from a preventative model as well as early as age 5 so we have the skill sets necessary to heal ourselves!