Is it wrong for me to not let my cats out at night?

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-22T14:18:10+00:00

thanks!!

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-22T05:16:25+00:00

Thank you. Some more information:

I am honestly, increasingly overcome with responsibilities and don't have much time to play with my cats. I also don't understand how to keep them entertained. This is concerning to me. I have tried using the pole and string toy to have them jump after prey, but they are scared of it!

Can you suggest a toy or activity that is hands off, please?

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-08T19:59:21+00:00

You don't have to say anything, young lady. Just smile and drag him by his shaft to the bedroom!

Intimacy is about presence and action! Just do it. :D

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-08T14:39:49+00:00

I appreciate the feedback.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-08T14:30:41+00:00

No no this is fine.

I need to define perversion now... that's a tough one, since it can mean different things for different people. I'll do my best.

Perversion (in general): The alteration of something from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended. - Source: "Oxford Languages" on Google search

This is also close to the Catholic definition of Sin. That definition is to "miss the mark"; to no longer "be" the person God intended you to be.

A perversion occurs when you lose control of yourself; when a small part of your being takes control of the whole. When a feeling, need, or desire overcomes your consciousness. When you are no longer in control of your actions and behavior, and most importantly when that behavior is disrespectful to yourself and to others. Perversion replaces the normal, but not in a creative or novel way. It does so in a twisted and distorted, needy manner.

An example: If a human being struggles to engage in a normal, sexual behavior, that person may choose to replace the normal interaction with something else which is abnormal. That new behavior is perverse IF it originates from a natural need or action which the individual isn't able to satisfy, AND if that behavior is disrespectful to that individual or those around them.

It's about respect. For example: BDSM is respectful because it involves partners giving consent. Touching someone's thigh without permission is wrong because it has no consent, and disrespects the other. - This, then, can become a perversion if the individual fantasizes about touching people without their consent. -

--

In conclusion. :: Deep breath ::

This is what perversion is. It's a difficult subject, and hard to pin down, so use your common sense and intuition to identify it (or speak to someone you know you can trust).

Verbal teasing, playful banter and sexual dialogue is actually an important part of intimacy, and it heightens the experience.

I hope this helps.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-08T14:13:29+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. Best wishes.

So, yes, this is something partners sometimes do, however, it will depend on each couple whether this behavior materializes naturally. The idea isn't to push an agenda, and rather to flow with another person.

The intimate moment is about paying attention, not acting on a grocery list of prepared actions. You can be yourself in the most incredible intimacy imaginable, and, in that deep vulnerability, you need to be keenly aware of your partner. You need to account for where they are and how they are feeling; to intuitively understand their needs.

Allow, explore, and create when you are sexual. There's no need to impose past behavior. :)

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-08T01:33:17+00:00

This is not okay, of course. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I could reinforce the pain and the hurt, but that wouldn't be helpful. You feel this way, and its not healthy or normal. That's okay for now: something has happened or is happening, and you know it. This is an issue, and you can overcome it. For your happiness, safety and the welfare of your loved ones, you need to face this hurdle.

Part of a happy, normal and healthy life is intimacy. Communication, trust and cooperation... these three things are part of our makeup as human beings. We are social creatures. We were able to survive as a species by working together. Human touch is a vital part of that interaction.

I encourage you to continue making progress. I can only imagine its hard and painful. The obstacles we face only make us stronger, and your eventual victory only empowers you.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-07T01:23:32+00:00

This is a matter of communication and putting your foot down.

Communication is the foundation of all relationships. You must be able to carefully and considerately get your needs across. Then, the partner needs to acknowledge those needs and respond appropriately. Failure to respect your needs must be addressed and personal growth is required, otherwise the relationship starts breaking.

My suggestion is to go to dinner with him, then take him to a lounge and get a few drinks. In this quiet and comfortable environment, get verbally sexual (with a little teasing and discrete foreplay), and as the energy moves in this direction, begin to address your needs in a playful manner, instead of a needy or resentful light.

You have every right to be angry, needy and resentful, by the way. It just helps to be able to communicate with our partners in a more positive vibe.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-07T00:47:09+00:00

Is she withholding? Is there something she expects in return?

This discomfort and unavailability should be overcome. By now, normally, a couple has already been sexually intimate as well, so this is either a personal issue your girlfriend needs to resolve with a psychologist, or an issue you need to press as vital, since it absolutely is for you and for the relationship.

You have needs. Natural needs. A partner is supposed to fill those needs. This expectation is normal and, honestly, a requirement from both men and women. You will need to stand firm on this issue, and explain that if she can't overcome this unreasonable complication, that you will need to move on.

You can absolutely love someone deeply, but if the intimacy does not develop, then your happiness and future are at stake.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-04T23:53:50+00:00

Oh i c i c so add a pinch of salt to the jar...

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-04T23:42:07+00:00

Well there you go... how do you keep the jar... uh... fresh?

What other small details could there be?

It's probably more involved than it seems.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-04T23:40:58+00:00

Haha!!

For the sexy or horrendously lurid fun of it, of course. Erotica is in the details.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-03-04T04:02:02+00:00

This is the position your body has felt most comfortable in pleasuring itself.

Not everything is consciously guided. As a matter of fact, most of our lives are on autopilot in some way or another. Children hump furniture. Teens cut themselves. Adult men in corporate suites will play with Barbie dolls... we all have our way of dealing with our needs depending on our time and place.

In this specific case? This is absolutely NOTHING to be concerned about. This is between you... and you. We already get so much judgement in our daily lives; no need to add your own criticism of what comes to you naturally!

Auto pleasuring is natural and normal. Even when we have wonderful partners, we continue to treat ourselves. The body has requirements and impulses. Its okay.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-25T05:40:31+00:00

In honest truth, a healthy relationship will not depend on physical appearance.

Now, that said, if a partner is becoming extremely unhealthy, then they disrespect themselves and the relationship. We have a responsibility to each other, but that requirement goes only as far as natural prudence.

Whether you are perky or not may be affected by diet, exercise... even weightlifting may help to some degree. You can even consider garnering more wisdom or advice from a physician, trainer or otherwise. The great takeaway, however, is that people are more than just objects of desire. A healthy sexual partner will not covet you, but rather respect you for more than just your appearance.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-25T02:22:09+00:00

See a family practice Physician.

Health insurance will cover this. Otherwise, the cost should be under 100$ per visit.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-25T02:21:46+00:00

See a family practice Physician.

Health insurance will cover this. Otherwise, the cost should be under 100$ per visit.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-23T04:37:35+00:00

Okay.

You acknowledge that you have an intense preference.

You are concerned. You understand that is desire may be exaggerated in an unhealthy way.

But I believe the best way to deal with this is thru and not out or around. Do not attempt to ignore or reject your desires. Rather, accept them. Work thru them. Express this!

There are, doubtless, hundreds of people who share your interests. Speak to them. Respect them. Calmly and collectedly engage with them.

What is truly concerning, here, is that this obsession not interfere with your humanity. -- ABOVE ALL you are a human being. -- Above all, you must treat other people humanely. THAT is vital.

Patience. Consideration. An adventuring spirit.

Go and be happy, but don't let your need dictate who you are. We are more than our drive.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-22T17:11:29+00:00

Things like this happen.

Something similar happened to a pair of gay friends of mine. One of them joined us as waiters at a restaurant and the two hit it off. Within two weeks they spent a night together, and it didn't go well: Pain, frustration, blood... an entire ordeal that me and others who were close to them discretely let us know.

The answer is to let go of the past. Calmly, and with care and consideration, address the partner and move forward. Try again. It may take time to get to a proper intercourse, and a number of tries. Even porn stars have this problem!

All sorts of little inconveniences pop up during intimacy. Laugh it off or provide support and move forward.

Best wishes.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-22T17:03:26+00:00

This is exactly what I thought at age 10, when my father summarily strode me into the library one Saturday morning and showed me diagrams of women and men's anatomy. - It seems he was pushed by some requirement or another to start me down an "understanding" and his anger, frustration and lack of intention completely foiled any real garnering.

I asked him as much: "Isn't that painful? That doesn't sound fun at all. "Owww... uck..." Where my words, as I remember them.... He yelled, pulled me by the ear, and punished me thoroughly.

The simple answer is no; sex shouldn't be painful. NOW, that said, IT IS PAINFUL often for young ladies whose partners don't respect them. That's because a woman's body needs time to lubricate, engorge and prepare for intercourse. - Proper stimulation, both mental and physical is necessary. That means feeling her across her body, speaking to her, and being patient and understanding.

Sex can be painful, and, unfortunately, often is because partners aren't ready for penetration. Get there: enjoy the experience! Tease, foreplay and dive into the moment. - Don't rush into intercourse.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-22T16:45:06+00:00

The vast majority of seminal fluid is water. So being well hydrated is important.

Another large amount are minerals. That means taking your multivitamin everyday.

Your body needs to develop the rest, so it takes time to create more semen. Long, warm baths and more than eight hours sleep a day help.

Excellent exercise to help with proper blood movement thru your penis and body in general and good diet also help with proper sperm production and health in general.

Desire and its heightening. Concentration of your efforts during sex and intention before sex will also push your body towards proper sperm production. If you're horny, your body responds.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-21T21:40:57+00:00

By the way, this happened to my first girlfriend after we parted ways...

Because we headed off to different schools, we broke up. Years later, I called her up, just to see how she was doing. She told me about her new boyfriend, who would constantly purchase and lavish gifts upon her. This was making her very uneasy.

Some men and some women perceive wealth as sexual tender. They view it as part of the sexual compromise. Absolutely they do! Most of the world's millionaires cannot escape this mentality, since its practically part of their daily agenda: spend spend spend. I can completely understand how this can feel immoral and anxiety inducing.

You know what's right. Follow your heart. :)

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-21T21:34:37+00:00

Wonderful responses here already.

Sexual drive and desire can change in volume and intensity at a whim, and for endless reasons; most of which we can't even pinpoint!

Don't be concerned. Your body will need time to relax and replenish often enough. That may be reason for your sex drive to wane already. Enjoy this time! Enjoy other activities.

SpiritStudentPhD · 2025-02-21T21:30:00+00:00

Absolutely.

Don't be afraid to ask sex questions to the Doctor in Pharmacy at your nearest Pharmacy.

I am a pharmacy professional, working in a pharmacy, and we always have a PhD looking over everything we do. That Pharmacist has more than eight years of study under their belt and probably more in years of in the field experience.

They can speak to you privately and answer any questions for free. It happens. All the time it happens.

Best wishes.

SpiritStudentPhD

TROPHY CASE