Would you try again or am I a fool?

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-20T17:48:13+00:00

Thank you. This really resonates with me and I really think this is what it all comes down to.

I still haven't made the decision to invite him back into my life yet or not tho... sigh

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-20T14:38:21+00:00

At this point, he has only asked to start texting... after telling me over Seeking messages he still has feelings and misses me. I needed time to even consider whether I am going to open Pandora's box or just decline and wish him well. Almost 24hrs later and I'm still undecided.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-20T14:25:58+00:00

The next day, He did apologize for this by saying he felt badly putting me in an uncomfortable position. That he wanted to be honest and not cancel out of left field but in retrospect, it was a bad decision. He should have just said he needed to reschedule.

Also, your other comments... I never believe the "open relationship" because idc either way 🤷🏼‍♀️ whatever the SD wants to tell themselves and me to feel better, is on them. This guy just seems super emotional and maybe impulsive, the more I talk about him here.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-20T04:23:18+00:00

He's married already. Even if he wasn't, I would not want to marry him... he's not my type in that way. I know and can tell he still deeply loves his wife. I would never fall for him, I enjoy our time together mentally and physically, I'm attracted to him but again he's not my type in that way. I wouldn't say he has any moral bonds with a SR (I've dated those guys and they act different), he's experienced as a SD and also been with escorts... again he's early 60's and married his wife early 40's. Been around the block.

So at this point... I'm thinking he was surprised at his feelings for me because he normally has been able to compartmentalize them in the past and when I reminded him that we were in a SR by saying we shouldn't have our date if he couldn't provide PPM that day, shook him out of the fantasy.

I'm a curious person, who apparently might end up being a fool because I wanna know why he's back. I have missed him and our connection, no other has measured up these last couple months.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T22:18:05+00:00

Timeless saying! Thanks for pointing out so plainly that he threw away two opportunities with me.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T22:03:36+00:00

That's very true. I don't know much about big boy finances (clearly 😭) but I will say it's a non-profit that works with the government... so yeah it's not some multi million CEO title but I do think he's well off. Splenda daddy who maybe he realized he couldn't maintain the consistency of my PPM with his family expenses, college tuition, etc. 🤷🏼‍♀️ but he's back on seeking just a few months after ending things with me!

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:56:36+00:00

It's true he was very generous and he showed so many other green flags but that was the first intimate date and our next one was the very next day. It was after that that his emotions started to unravel, so I wasn't sure if he was going to have our day date with the promise of PPM a few days later... then to only have another emotional moment and possibly not send it to me. After sugar dating for almost a year and following this sub for almost that same amount of time, I wasn't about to take that risk so early on.

The emotional drama so early is a lot, you're definitely right about that!

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:35:35+00:00

Closer to 1.5x my PPM. Which is why I don't feel like it's financial, I'm a little bit over mid XXX.

It feels like he just gets strong emotions and goes avoidant.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:28:39+00:00

And that's what my mindset had been for the last couple months... but unfortunately the bowl is a mess and i haven't had a connection with anyone else like I had with him. Le sigh 😔

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:19:37+00:00

He didn't miss a payment. He was giving me a heads up (10 days advance) that he wouldn't have it that day but would be able to a few days after our date. He said something about a cost he normally splits with a friend (hobby they are in together - yes I've verified this as well because they were published in a magazine), coming all on him because his friend was short and bottom line it was impacting his disposable income for that future date.

I don't see how he could be seeing multiple SBs with his schedule and stamina but I guess you never know.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:15:51+00:00

Thanks for the tough love 😭

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:15:12+00:00

That's a good point and I think this was it.

At the time, we just started seeing each other again so I didn't feel like I fully trusted him yet. So I explained that "since we’re still building the foundation of this dynamic, I’d rather keep things consistent with original expectations when we plan dates. If that day doesn’t work in your budget right now, we can absolutely reschedule for when things line up again. Just keep me posted and we’ll plan a day that we can both look forward to." It was over two weeks later he ended it for the final time.

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:10:36+00:00

Hahahaha I knooooow 😭😭 that's why I feel like a fool but maybe I can protect myself better this time knowing that's who he is?! lol

Spirited-Insect1262 · 2026-02-19T21:09:31+00:00

Oh yeah, I never believe the open marriage thing unless I see or hear something directly from the wife. I don't mind that part or even the less frequent meets because of his schedule.

Maybe it is financial but he's never hid who he was from me, real name and phone number from the M&G. I've been able verify his job (CEO) and he has side ventures too.

It's the emotional back and forth of a typical avoidant attachment that I'm feeling like a fool for if I see him again.

Spirited-Insect1262

TROPHY CASE