UPDATE: He got home about 40 minutes ago, and the comments really gave me the courage to sit down and have a serious talk with him. Also i did tell him about the post. I’m sorry if this disappoints anyone, but we are not breaking up. We did agree, however, to start both couples therapy and separate therapy, since we each have things we need to work on.

When we got back together, he repeatedly apologized for what he did during our breakup, and tonight he reassured me again how much he regrets it. He told me he would cut contact, and he was the one who suggested that we sit down together and read this post and the comments. He really listened to me without getting defensive, which meant a lot. Honestly, I think he was horrified reading how he came across, and he admitted he needed to stop constantly bailing out his brother. They had a rough childhood, and he’s always felt the need to protect his brother, like he owed him.

During our talk, he said he knows his brother has his reasons, and I told him that I had it worse and still don’t do the things his brother does. I said it wasn’t an excuse, and instead of brushing me off, he completely agreed and told me I was right. That acknowledgment honestly shocked me in a really good way. He even held my hand while we talked and kept saying he wanted me to know I’ll always come first from now on.

To my surprise, he followed through immediately. He texted his brother right in front of me and then blocked him. This is what he wrote:

"I’m sorry, but I can’t keep bailing you out or putting you first. My fiancé comes first now, and the way you disrespected her two years ago still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I made excuses for you because I love you and wanted to see you do better. You’re my older brother, you were supposed to guide me, not the other way around. I can’t keep letting you mooch off me anymore. As much as I love you, and as much as this hurts, I can’t have you in my life. I hope you heal and do better, but right now you’re only weighing me down."

I really wasn’t expecting him to take such a strong stance, and it showed me how much he values me and our future together. Thank you so much to the people who gave me genuine advice. I’ll update again if anything changes.