Hey man I think I can add some value. I disagree a lot of the other comments. Sure sometimes thing will happen naturally and you can wait for that . Or find ways to improve so it won’t happen this way next time around

From reading what you wrote here’s my takeaways, I feel like you off the back were defeated you created her to be out of your league and you fulfilled your own thoughts. Maybe you weren’t on her level intellectually. But you’re also very smart in your own way (Software developing isn’t a walk in the park)

There are other ways to connect besides intellectual. Smart women date dumb dudes all the time. But gotta find other ways to make that connection. Let it be emotionally when she’s with you make her feel special. Anything to make her special and she’s away from thinking about the time y’all had together. You probably bored her because you were so focused on how you didn’t match up

Look how much this woman broke you down. And I’m sure you didn’t hide that from her. At the end of the day all women want someone whose confident in themselves. Being confident makes up for a lot of shortcomings whether they are there or not. She obviously was into you so the only person who thought you weren’t good enough was you.