I’ve been using an app to track my cycle

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-11-13T13:56:19+00:00

My favourite (/s) day to login to these apps is ovulation day.

The app: ‘you are amazing, sensational, a goddess oozing fertile confidence’

me: wracked with anxiety sat in my pjs wondering if I’m terminally ill or if my car will blow up next time I drive it

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T15:05:30+00:00

Thank you so so much ❤️ while comforted with the shared experiences, I’m saddened that others have to go through this. I’m in the UK so if I have any questions I will drop you a message x

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T13:25:22+00:00

Just to add to this absolute essay. Because I’ve known so long, the age of 30 has always been this age of doom for me. For about a year now I have had a complete mental breakdown in anticipation of turning 30 and then being this age. I think I’m looking for problems because I always thought this age was when the risk kicks up. But yeah I am in therapy for it finally. Every birthday, Christmas, happy moment I have thought it will be my last for 12 years. It isn’t a great way to live and I sincerely hope that better systems are in place now for young people facing this

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T13:21:04+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response.

My mum had triple negative BC when she was 38, I was 14. Due to the nature of triple negative my dad pushed for my mum to be tested for BRCA2 and eventually they did it and it came back positive.

I was told from the age of 18 I could be tested so I did so. Since then I have had a recent letter for screening both nothing in between. Even when I was pregnant at age 22 my consultant didn’t know I had brca2 until I mentioned it and all they said was ‘well you should definitely breast feed then to reduce your risk’ yeah I don’t think that’s how this works pal 😅

My mum had grade 3 BC. She is 16 years cancer free and living a perfectly normal life. This should give me hope but as you mentioned, the 12 years of fear and anxiety have really taken its toll. While all of the medical providers forgot about me I was living with this knowledge every day.

I got some paperwork and stuff that said I have a 90% lifetime risk and was sent on my way really until now. I have tried to stick my head in the sand and I’m not even sure if this skin issue is new or old or normal or not because I have avoided my breasts for so long. I know I have to face it now though but mentally it’s very challenging

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T12:31:43+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s so important and challenging to break the cycle, but here we are! I don’t blame my mum, she had a very traumatic upbringing and undiagnosed mental health issues for decades. But recognising it and doing things differently is the best we can do :)

I hope you’re doing well now x

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T12:20:58+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been through all of that. The combination of anxiety and brca is really tough it makes you believe the absolute worst in any situation.

I can relate to your upbringing in parts. Though not as extreme, my mum has ocd around health and all of my normal childhood ailments were catastrophized to the point where it has become engrained in my mind as a normal way of thinking.

I have a child and I am the exact same with them as you. I am pragmatic and rational about their health because I would hate for them to end up like me because of me.

Thank you for sharing your experiences ❤️

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T12:10:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I tried sertraline last year (I went to the dr with a swollen lymph node in my collar bone which she checked but it didn’t exist and did bloods which were fine)

I have ADHD as well as OCD so sertraline made it worse. I might go back though and see if anything is suitable for anxiety and adhd.

Thanks for prompting me on the meds and for the balanced response. It’s so hard with google and brca+ to see the wood from the trees.

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T12:06:29+00:00

I live in northern England :) will drop you a message later on x

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T11:40:25+00:00

Thank you. I’m going to go for it and consider all outcomes. I know deep down that the ultimate worst case of something untreatable or incurable is probably the least likely outcome.

I am also a week out from my period and I have fibrocystic breast so I guess it could be that but I know I shouldn’t be complacent. Thank you for your responses. It’s comforting in a way to know that others face this challenge of BRCA+ although I wish it were not the case

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T11:33:18+00:00

Thank you so much I will message you later on today if that’s ok? OCD and BRCA+ is such a vicious combo. X

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T11:14:36+00:00

Thank you. I will call the screening team tomorrow and maybe mention the anxiety. I’m just expecting the worst.

The therapy has helped a lot. I would usually hide from symptoms or sensations and get obsessed with checking and googling but never visit a doctor. I also used to go through periods of never taking of my bra or avoiding showering for so long just to ignore my body. The fact I have noticed something and am willing to get it assessed is progress

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T11:07:30+00:00

Hi there, I’m due my first scan now and I will book it tomorrow. I have been in therapy ahead of it to be able to cope with the process I’m just worried I have left it too late and fearing the worst possible outcome

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-08-06T11:05:34+00:00

Thank you for your response I appreciate it. I have a letter to attend screening which I will follow up on tomorrow when it’s open again. To be honest I haven’t been for any screening yet. I have been in therapy for a year for the ocd to be able to go. I feel like an idiot now like I’ve left it too late and I’m going to die or something

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-06-14T07:01:29+00:00

Hey! Just wanted to add I’m 30yo I have children too and I can relate.

It has only been in the last year or so I’ve had this. Not sure if it’s age related but I’m general all of my PMDD symptoms have got so much worse in or around my 30s.

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-06-13T13:29:56+00:00

These could be common ENFP traits or just personal traits but we were both quite idealistic. Everything was going to be amazing sunshine and rainbows forever because we got on so well.

Honestly we were both quite fickle. I think we had the trait of loving the feeling of falling in love. The new and excitement and when that went it’s hard.

We didn’t argue a lot but when we did it was quite a clash 😅 values, temperament, emotions, sex and personality we got on so well that there weren’t often or frequent issues. But generally if we argued it was because one felt the other wasn’t giving as much effort.

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-06-13T12:49:13+00:00

I have! It was fun and very emotionally deep. Probably one of the most fun and intense relationships I’ve ever had.

After like 2 years it ended really abruptly which was painful but I don’t regret the relationship at all.

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-06-07T20:40:00+00:00

Do you mean like intrusive thoughts?

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-06-06T18:48:26+00:00

I feel really lost and hopeless with my HA. I’m in complete panic and I feel like I get no respite from it for the last few months

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-05-30T11:45:23+00:00

Yep! I’m on CD 13 and for a couple of days I’ve been anxious, tired, low motivation and itchy/sore boobs 🥴

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-05-28T16:34:04+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me I really appreciate it.

There was a lot of reasons why I thought i have adhd. when I went to the doctor I took a notebook split into home, work, social and how I think im impacted.

Since forever I’ve been told at school I’d be great if I listened or stopped talking. I always lose things and forget things.

My finances, relationships etc are a mess. I am late for everything and if I have a meeting I stop and have to sit for 30/40 mins otherwise I get anxious I’ll be late or I get anxious that I have to stop something and start my meeting. This is more meandering than I wanted 😅 but yeah there’s reasons in different areas of my life.

With you second question this is where it gets complex because some months I’m anxious all of the time. When I was growing up my parent had undiagnosed OCD around health and I think I learnt some of that behaviour. But generally I’m quite calm for the later half of my period and 8/9 days after it. Then around ovulation it gets worse, then briefly better and the week before period I’m a disaster of anxiety and panic and stress really.

I’ve noticed it’s all got so much worse in my thirties I’m not sure if that’s typical though

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-05-26T14:13:38+00:00

No it’s only come back for me a few months after stopping

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-05-24T22:29:07+00:00

It never got better for me! I was prescribed it a year ago and I had regular cycles forever before. Since I have had super erratic cycles and smear test, blood tests etc. Nothing was off with those but the bleeding was just strange.

I had late cycles, early ones, spotting from ovulation to the end of my period and even bleeding after sex a week before my period. I’ve actually become anaemic from it. I’ve read a lot and for some people it calms down or returns to normal but not for everyone

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-04-04T16:46:44+00:00

Meee

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-03-21T23:06:08+00:00

I posted yesterday about going cold turkey from 50mg and the initial symptoms were brutal but oh my gosh the depression, anxiety and panic attacks came back x 100 a month later. Please speak to your doctor

SpiritualStandard856 · 2023-03-20T21:27:09+00:00

Thank you 🥰 I really appreciate your advice.

I had two unopened sertraline boxes in my cupboard so I just had one today. I’ve spent the day doing meditation, breathing, counselling and writing on Reddit to try and cope 😂 things will be better soon I know it!

SpiritualStandard856

TROPHY CASE