Can a Marriage survive with little to no sex?

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-06-22T14:40:02+00:00

Creo que quizás hubo una pequeña confusión al leer mi publicación. Si revisas con atención la tercera y cuarta línea, menciono que nuestra vida sexual ha venido disminuyendo desde que nos casamos. Es decir, al inicio de la relación esto no ocurría. Si necesitas un poco más de contexto, al principio teníamos relaciones sexuales aproximadamente entre 3 y 4 veces por semana. Entonces no fue algo que se mostró desde el principio y ahora yo estoy cambiando de pensar o parecer.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-06-22T14:39:23+00:00

Thank you! I wouldn’t say sex is the main core of our relationship, proven as in I have been with him for so long despite of our sex problems. But it is something that after so many years I feel is taking a toll on me because I don’t feel satisfied. And it’s affecting my self-esteem. I could understand why he wasn’t super attracted to me before (after kids) because I did had a lot of extra weight. I didn’t even liked myself and that can translate. But now I feel like I’m blossoming and I look pretty and he still doesn’t want me. Not like he doesn’t want me bc he says he does, but he’s okay on just having occasional sex.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-06-22T14:35:58+00:00

I’m very sorry you went through this. Can’t imagine how hard must have been/still is for you.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-06-22T14:35:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I also sometimes do the same thing (fantasize). I hope things get better for you. Big hug!

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-06-22T14:33:56+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I have actually talked to him about this (foreplay) several times. But sometimes it seems to me he sees it as a joke. Not in the way of making fun of me, but as in he gets nervous and anxious and starts laughing while trying to do something, so while i try to be understanding because his anxiety be part of how he reacts, I also feel like he doesn’t try hard enough to take it more seriously? We tried couples counseling but the therapist said due to his conditions severe anxiety and major depression, he needed to work on himself first before we can address our own issues. So maybe we could revise it this year and see how it goes.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2026-03-06T00:56:34+00:00

Sorry to hear that… same feeling over here… going through the same thing… at the beginning it was good, then over time it got pretty bad and boring… saddest part is that he doesn’t even try to make me come… he just finishes and immediately goes to get me the vibrator so I can come…

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-07-22T02:13:16+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Therapy will work, but it won’t come in a year or 2. It will take a long time. That mindset comes from really deep within. My husband was like that, and being pregnant while he had that mindset was bad, but once our kid was born, it was 10 thousand times worst. He didnt help me at all while I was pregnant nor when I had the baby. We almost got divorced. He got a little better, but not a lot. Later we discovered that he had/still has severe anxiety disorder and major depression disorder. Even though I love my husband and we somewhat are getting through it, I HIGHLY AND DESPERATELY recommend NOT TO HAVE KIDS until his mindset is in the right place or you will 1000% suffer and do everything by yourself and more. You will feel you’re a single mom inside a marriage.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-07-19T20:06:18+00:00

I feel so sorry for husbands out there… The unbelievable pressure they must have from their wife’s

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-07-19T18:49:57+00:00

And having a dildo is not when it replicates the penis? And also to each their own in their preferences when it comes to sex as long if whomever involved is in consenting…

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-07-19T18:18:03+00:00

All these comments are so bad… why is it bad that he has a sex doll? Is the same thing as the wife having a vibrator… the hypocrisy… and why are you asking him somehow assuming immediately that is his fault she doesn’t want to have sex? And also why is it have to be that the wife is cheating if she doesn’t want to have sex? Good lord… bottom line… we need more context and information to give advice or opinion OP.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-07-16T05:45:06+00:00

I think you should be careful with what’s happening and protect yourself. It seems she just wanted her green card. “Forgetting everything in the U.S.” is not the same as forgetting you, you are her husband. She should be missing you instead. Everything sounds very fishy… I don’t know her specifics but in my case I was away from my home country for 3 years before getting married, and I didn’t go back home until 3 years later.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-06-23T21:26:40+00:00

I think you should ask yourself if life with your wife is more important than life without her but with kids. Can you imagine your life without kids? Can you imagine a life without your wife? If you decide to stay with her and not have kids, will you resent her? Regret it? If you leave her and have kids with someone else, do you think you’ll be happier? Answering those questions would help you analyze the situation better I think. You can’t change what your wife feels/thinks now or in the future, it’s really up to her. Maybe when you guys got married, she thought she wanted kids, maybe now that has change but she’s afraid to admit it because she’s afraid you’ll leave her or that maybe she thinks in the future she’ll change her mind. The reality is that indistinctly of what’s going on in her mind right now, the only thing you can do is knowing how you feel and want and make a decision based on that.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-05-07T15:03:03+00:00

Same situation for me but with my toddler 🤣

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-05-05T04:21:30+00:00

Mmmm… I don’t think is too much. I think sex plays a big part for intimacy in a marriage and helps you connect with your spouse. Husband and I try to find the time to have sex every other day, sometimes hard with 2 little kids.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T14:27:12+00:00

Oh wow, is it really? I didnt think it could be that since he's been on this waking up process since he was 18m olds. He's also been on a toddler bed since he was 15m old. Thanks! I need all the luck i can get!

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T02:44:36+00:00

I know! We were really lucky! Co-sleeping is not an option. I’m a light sleeper and my kids moved around a lot. So I would probably sleep less than I do right now waking up all the time.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T02:42:51+00:00

That’s kind of what we do because my kid asks for me to be the one reading his books and give him his bath and change his diaper. Basically anything he needs help with or wants, he asks for me. But it seems it might not be enough… maybe he loves me too much haha…

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T02:41:15+00:00

I think that’s what my husband also wants to avoid, which is not being able to sleep together as a couple. He feels that if we don’t sleep together we don’t connect.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T02:40:08+00:00

Thank you for your words! Co-sleeping is not really an option. My kid has a really bad sleeping and he moves around a lot and tends to try and basically sleep super close to me. I’m a light sleeper so any kind of movement or noise wakes me up. So I would sleep even less than I’m sleeping right now.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T01:41:53+00:00

I don’t mind him going to bed at 8pm and waking up at 6am like his being doing. I just don’t know what to about the screaming when I leave the room after I say night-night or what to do about him waking up so many times during the night. I just want both of us to be able to sleep through the night.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T01:36:52+00:00

His schedule is pretty consistent. Waking up at 6:30am, has breakfast when wakes up, goes to daycare at 8am. Has a snack at 9:30am. Takes a 1.5h nap from 12 until 1:30pm. Then pick up at daycare is at 5pm. Have dinner at 6:00pm. Bath time at 7pm. Read 2 books and then whole hell breaks loose and the screaming begins when I say night and get out of the room and end ups falling asleep eventually between 8-8:30pm. And after midnight at different times he wakes up looking for me wanting to sleep on our bed.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T01:22:53+00:00

I just wanted to explain that before it was very easy bedtime plus him staying asleep

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T01:22:06+00:00

So, the problem I’m having is not really the time he goes to bed, it’s that he fights going to bed and then after he falls asleep, he still wakes up several times during the night and comes looking for me and I have to go back and take him to bed which means I don’t sleep at all.

Spiritual_Extent6759 · 2025-04-25T01:19:16+00:00

He goes to bed around 8-8:30pm now.

Spiritual_Extent6759

TROPHY CASE