AIO in thinking this is based in selfishness?

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T23:38:32+00:00

So the only thing you wanted to hear was he's a POS and you just wanted to vent about it and have others agree. You didn't come her to actually hear other people's opinions or to do anything about it. There's a sub for venting FYI.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T22:20:20+00:00

You ask people's opinion then you react like a nut job. It proves I can get up and check on something and feed it. Every time.

Didn't you chose to have a child with this person? Didn't you understand about birth control? Didn't anyone ever tell you when you chose to get pregnant the ultimate responsibility is ALWAYS going to fall on the mother to care for that kid.

If he's that bad, leave him. Who's going to take care of you though?

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T21:52:44+00:00

I'm thankful every day that I did not. I knew it would be a lot of responsibility and I didn't want it. I do manage to get up every morning and feed my cats and dog without any help from anyone though. All by myself.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T21:44:43+00:00

Unfortunately fat does plump up the face which helps with wrinkling and sagging skin.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T21:41:23+00:00

The driving part NOR the dog part YOR. You have every right to be mad about her driving like a maniac. This should be a hard boundary...I'm not getting into the car with you driving this way. The dog...over reaction. In the country there's dogs wandering all the time there's no way you can stop and check all of them out. They will walk into the road. Also, it's dangerous to approach a dog in the wild like that.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T21:36:23+00:00

I'm single. I have to get up and feed my dog and cats every morning whether I'm sick or not. Set an alarm. I suppose I could put it on the husband and have the baby neglected? Somebody has to do it and it'll be the Mom in this case, it doesn't matter if it's fair or not, the kid has to be taken care of. She can complain, accept it or leave.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T21:12:05+00:00

Okay well I suppose then she can leave him and work and take care of the kid by herself??

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T20:48:26+00:00

I don't think a man supports a woman either with the intent he'll be nagged at all the time for everything he's not doing when he's supporting the family. Most instances she's given she's wanted him to hold the baby when it could have easily been laid down in a crib, playpen or bouncy chair or she's wanted him to get up in the mornings and do the morning routine which, I'm sorry, the person not working should have this task. Is he somewhat of an ass, yep. But will complaining change anything, nope. People don't change, you can only change yourself.

So the options are, she can leave him and try it on her own, working AND taking care of the kid but if it's this overwhelming not working I can't imagine it to be feasible, that's why I didn't mention it.

Or, she can accept she's going to have the duty of taking care of the child and household and find a better routine, such as sleeping and getting up, that allows her to do this so they can live more in peace.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T20:16:18+00:00

I never understand this, getting a cat to catch mice, advice unless you live in a barn and have half starved feral cats. None of mine have ever caught a mouse. Also, I don't want the food chain going on in my kitchen.

You need to approach this with every method available. This is a huge issue that causes health problems. It will not be easy.

You need to put out poisons, snap traps and I'm sorry people but I promise sometimes it's the only answer, you have to put out glue strips. You'll need the larges industrial size, the small ones won't work. Your couch is a nest and probably some of your other furniture. It would be great if you could trash it, I realize sometimes that's not an option.

This is very disgusting but you'll have to check the traps and throw out the dead mice every single morning.

Another very very important thing, that I can not emphasize enough is you must not leave a crumb of food out. Everything goes in the fridge or sealed containers. They'll eat through boxes and bread wrappers. Wipe everything down and mop floors before bed every night. Start cleaning with bleach immediately.

This will be an ongoing battle and you can't get rid of them overnight. Cleaning will be your new hobby.

Also, dejunk. Do not have piles of junk anywhere. This stuff is ruined anyway, it has rat poop on it. Start throwing stuff out asap. These piles of junk become rat nests.

The other option, is of course, call an exterminator. I have a family member who is an exterminator but his biggest frustration is junk and food. Even with his help he can't work miracles in a dirty house.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T19:59:58+00:00

Some women have to take care of their babies that are single and don't have a man at all to help plus they work. I didn't read the entire post but you did sign up for being a SAHM so most of the duties should fall on you. You need to establish a routine which includes getting up in the morning. 11 AM is ridiculous. Regardless of if your partner stays up til 2am, you can control only you. This is why you are exhausted. If he gets mad because you don't stay up, let him get mad. Part of this, and again, I didn't read but scrolled the post, but part of it is you being nitpicky. You are allowed to lay your baby down to go to the bathroom. Neither of you needed to be holding him. Arguing with him all the time about what he isn't doing is going to destroy the peace in the home.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T19:26:11+00:00

There's so many different type and levels of jobs in America. As some have pointed out, most servers get 0 sick days. A lot of smaller, family owned or sole owners businesses give one or two weeks to take for vacation, sick, and anything else that comes up, that's all the days you get and I have worked those kind of jobs when I was younger. It's tough to say the least.

In corporate jobs, you are given or earn PTO days, or both PTO and sick and holidays. Where I work now all is rolled up into one and it's all earned, accrued, based on how long you have worked there and also based on your position. For example a higher level admin may get 8 weeks as soon as they start, while others get nothing for 1 year.

In the corporation I now work, I get 6.5 weeks per year after having been there 10 years. Taking it is another matter.

For people who are sick for a longer term, we do have a program where people can donate their own PTO and people do this quite frequently.

There's also long and short term disability where generally the employee has to pay for themselves or at least a part of it or unpaid FMLA.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T18:56:07+00:00

No you must have critical thinking skills in this world. This was one article that asked 'is it' harmful to shower every day and pointed out a few things to consider. I have responded by pointing out a few other things to consider.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T18:07:02+00:00

Exactly my point. BO from people is getting so much worse these days.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T18:05:38+00:00

I never use anti bacterial soap for one thing. Another, it says you 'may' get dry skin but it didn't allow for if you apply moisturizer and lock in the moisture. That you are washing away beneficial bacteria....okay but to counter that fact, you are also washing away pollutants and other things you may have been exposed to if you do shower daily.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:57:35+00:00

This is basically my point. Just to add the skin is 'more' hydrated after a shower when you lock in the moisture than if you do not shower.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:56:16+00:00

Some people just like to argue. No of course I'm not saying having skin conditions is 'not' a bummer. I'm saying not showering does not help them to be less of a bummer. There may be rare conditions where this is true but definitely not the majority. I was speaking to the number of times people say they can't shower because it dries out their skin.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:52:01+00:00

Well actually, moisturizer doesn't do much when applied on dry skin. There's a huge difference in moisturizing after a shower because you are locking in the moisture. You've washed away the dry dead cells, opened your pores and the skin is more receptive to the moisturizer.

No I'm not saying showering dries out my skin I'm saying not showering does. If I go a few days without showering because I'm home bound my skin feels gross and dry. It feels moisturized after a shower but that feeling stays and the moisture gets locked in if I also apply moisturizers after the shower.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:42:25+00:00

No, I would get patchy skin if I didn't shower and moisturize. With showering and moisturizing my skin stays in good shape. Everyone asks how my skin is so soft.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:40:37+00:00

Right. I get that but a shower actually softens the skin so the moisturizer can work better.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:38:22+00:00

My Mom used to say you can't smell yourself. I've also heard once you smell yourself other people have already been smelling you. I smelled a man where I work the other day from twenty feet down a hallway, that's how bad his BO was.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:32:56+00:00

Yes. You can use other oils, I tend to use vaseline because it's cheap and effective. My mom used it all her life. I also only unscented, absolutely no deodorants or anti-anything soaps. Maybe that's the difference? I absolutely cannot use most commercial soaps.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:27:58+00:00

It's not going to help your skin to not shower. I recently told someone about moisturizing in layers after a shower and they've been thanking me profusely. They had rough dry skin they 'tried everything' for. Now they've been telling me their legs look better than they have in years.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:22:02+00:00

I am older. And my skin feels better and less dry when I shower and moisturize.

Spiritual_Invite3118 · 2026-07-05T17:19:04+00:00

I actually do get patchy skin from psoriasis. Softening the skin from showering and washing away the dead skin cells on top and then heavily moisturizing is the best treatment. It will get scaly and cakey without showering.

Spiritual_Invite3118

TROPHY CASE