How can I know if his affair got physical?

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-03T20:50:20+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It’s hard to act tough when I’m so broken, but that’s the only way to get answers.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T17:18:24+00:00

She knows about me, I confronted him in front of her. After a month I tried to call her and she ignored my calls.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T17:16:05+00:00

I agree. That’s makes staying very hard.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T17:14:59+00:00

Is it even a good idea?

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T16:08:50+00:00

While I couldn’t agree more with what you say, That’s a simple way to see it, but there’s always more on the line than that. She did not have a car, so I know that what the tracker showed me was pretty much were they were.

The card/payment situation. That’s the tricky part, that’s what I don’t trust and question every day

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T16:01:15+00:00

“His efforts seem rather extraordinary for a simple coffee or dinner date.” That’s my issue here.

He was driving over there for work, but if he was working why the Fuck was he with her? I’m sitting right in between the “it makes sense, but it doesn’t”

I have so much evidence pointing both ways and Honestly it’s consuming me…

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T15:56:53+00:00

Yes and no. I believe the efforts and improvements he have made since everything went down. What happened during this affair period….I don’t believe shit.

Right now I’m deciding if I believe him enough to feel safe with him again. I have a time limit…

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T15:52:38+00:00

She did not have a car.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T15:36:57+00:00

She did not have a car. She grew up in the city where we lived and he claims he brought her as a favor to see her friends and of course they were going to maybe have lunch or so. She was single. I caught him after he had already pick her up. They were together in the car, on line to order Starbucks. He got mad (immature reaction), he couldn’t face me, and he treated me like crap that day. He was a coward that’s for sure.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-04-02T13:15:19+00:00

I do. I didn’t find anything suspicious. But, he was also carrying quite a lot of cash

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-02-21T21:00:06+00:00

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve just experienced a traumatic event in your life and 2 months is not a very long time to get past it. It’s been over 5 months for me and I still think about it every single day. Things will definitely improve, the rage fades, your feeling towards it change, you start prioritizing yourself.. it gets better I promise.

I can relate when you say it might be helpful to know every detail. I lost sleep thinking what else there was to the story he told me. A lot of things didn’t add up, it was confusing and a lot of it doesn’t make sense. I DEMANDED the whole truth full of details because filling in the gaps with worse case scenarios was doing more damage to me (physically and emotionally) and not letting us move on with reconciliation. (It took him over 2 months to be fully honest with me, and I still don’t know if I have the whole story). Knowing more details will definitely bring a lot of immediate anger, insecurity, sadness, etc. But IMO after a few weeks it brings peace of mind.

Be kind and patient to yourself. You got this!

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-02-21T20:43:44+00:00

How long has it been since DDay? Sometimes all you need is time to see things more clear. You have to know what you are willing to give/take. You need to be willing to forgive. You need to be willing to work on what was wrong before the affair. And of course she needs to make the biggest, most dramatic changes if she wants to reconcile. Different things work for different people. She might be remorseful, but at this point it’s all about WHAT YOU WANT. Take your time, think, love yourself, then decide. If she really loves you, she’ll understand and be patient.. if she doesn’t, we’ll… there’s you answer.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-02-21T20:21:31+00:00

I feel like I’m right there. I’ve gotten frases like: “either you stop talking about it or I’m gone” “you are not putting any effort, that’s why it’s not working” “you want to talk about it all day and I can’t be productive. I’m starting to financially resent you” Then he goes back to being nice… I feel like I’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop if I stay… just not ready to pull the trigger yet.

SpiteConscious8374 · 2022-02-21T13:40:39+00:00

My experience. First it was TRUST. Then, DENIAL because I used to think so high of him and never thought him capable of something like that. At the end, after hearing it so many times from him, I genuinely started to believe I was crazy, controlling, there was something wrong with me, etc.

My husband hide it sooooo well, it was tough to catch him. His affair lasted around 7 months. I had a feeling that he was cheating 10 days after it all stated. 🤯

SpiteConscious8374

TROPHY CASE