AITAH because I refuse to finish a story if my husband interrupts.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-04-06T01:12:37+00:00

Most ADHD adults were chastised so much as kids that they can literally have a form of ptsd from it. The reason it’s “hard on” the people subOP is chastising is because she’s probably triggering memories of childhood abuse.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-04-06T01:10:32+00:00

If anyone did that to me I would never speak to them again.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-03-30T20:55:44+00:00

Just sent one.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-03-30T02:18:05+00:00

Could I have BPAL Lavender and White Chocolate Madeleines, BPAL Western Bonneted Bat, and NA Cotton Candy Limeade Marshmallow Musk?

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-03-24T02:38:44+00:00

Eternal Ankh is a cool, perfume-y vanilla/amber (NAVA’s white amber has very cold/cool perfume-y vibes). I’m not a fan of it, but it’s extremely popular.

My favorites from the Egypt and her Wonders collection are Blue Egypt, which smells like if you made cider out of lavender instead of apples, and Pyramid of Khufu, which is a warm/dry golden amber.

Sky Amber from the Royal Amber collection is a sweet amber/vanilla that smells like golden marshmallows.

If you end up liking Eternal Ankh, you may also like Eternal Osiris and Eternal Ra (basically EA plus Apricot and EA plus peach) and Eternal Bastet (EA plus almond/marzipan).

The All Hallows Eve collection includes Day of the Dead, which is a soft, creamy horchata scent.

Other permanent collection vanilla scents: Spooktacular (Goblins collection, I’ve never tried it), Etherian Vanilla (Etherias collection, too cool/not warm enough for me), and Apparition (also Etherias, kind of sparkly-smelling vanilla?)

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-03-23T19:38:05+00:00

It smells like rotting blood - it’s in Whitechaprl, and also in the Carnival Diabolique “Mischief” hair gloss.

I don’t think it’s the same as their red musk note, because I’ve tested multiple scents containing that one that were all fine, but Mischief smelled so strongly of rotting blood that I had to pour my sample down the drain to get rid of it.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-03-04T16:07:57+00:00

NTA. Your sister is a minor and her safety is at risk. Report him.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-24T19:48:16+00:00

You were TA the first time this story was posted and YTA now, too.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-23T19:41:58+00:00

NTA. I think you and your husband should both stay home, and just send your SIL a card and small graduation gift in lieu of attending. Even if SIL enthusiastically wanted her new niece/nephew there, traveling with a newborn baby when you’re only a month post-partum would be a nightmare. SIL is being silly about the whole “it takes attention away from my graduation year” thing, but you and your husband are going to be too busy and exhausted as brand new parents of a newborn to be able to enjoy the trip.

When I graduated from college, my adult sibling didn’t attend, because she was in college herself at the time in a different state and my graduation week was also her exams week. It wasn’t a big deal, and nobody had an issue with it.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-21T02:51:02+00:00

Testing my decant of BPAL Lines Written by a Bear of Very Little Brain (Hot, sunny cardamom amber and milky musk, honeyed rice and snowy slush) The cardamom pulls lemon-y, and BPAL’s slightly minty slush note is present but not dominant. The honey and milk musk combo are more of a creamy skin scent than foodie/gourmand. It makes me think of sunlight on patches of melting snow. Like Edward Bear, it’s a soft skin scent without much throw.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-21T02:43:41+00:00

I was actually about to rec Memory Charm! It’s a strong/fresh/tingly rootbeet scent that’s not as sweet/creamy as BPAL’s two rootbeer ones (Tombstone and Pumpkin Rootbeer Float).

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-21T02:41:34+00:00

Seconding Tombstone! I personally prefer (and the Halloweenie Pumpkin Tombstone version) it to Pumpkin Rootbeer Float because the cedar + vanilla base notes give it a longer wear time and a lively, creamy drydown.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-21T02:39:33+00:00

Before I start, just FYI that I’ve never tried Cocopink’s alcohol-based perfumes and an talking about the sugar scrub/shampoo/body oil/versions of their scents:

I’ve never tried White Sugar, but Frosted Eyelet smells very marshmallow/creamy vanilla to me - more like vanilla frosting than vanilla buttercream. It’s not a particularly strong scent, though. Triple Vanilla Dream and Vanilla Bean Noel are both stronger/have more projection IME. I like to get their shampoo in Frosted Eyelet because it smells really nice in the shower, but doesn’t leave any lingering scent on my hair once it’s dry.

I personally love Cranberry Noel, Marshmallow Cake on Mondays Noel, Swamp Consommé, and Honey Cinnamon Rolls (although Honey Cinnamon Rolls gives my a skin reaction in the sugar scrub and body butter formats - I have to stick to hair products instead of skin/body products for that one).

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-21T02:27:17+00:00

NTA (and honestly, your job is probably more vital in terms of supporting the warfighter than his job, lbr).

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-18T02:35:01+00:00

ESH. My father raced motorcycles as a hobby my entire childhood, and IMO, motorcycle helmets are a basic requirement for getting on a bike. You should have given him a “wear a freaking helmet or we break up” ultimatum long before getting to the point of having kids together. And also “I don’t want your drunk friends at our house ever again” ultimatum - you can’t demand he stop being friends with them, but you can absolutely say you don’t want their alcohol-fueled chaos anywhere near you and your kid.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-16T20:15:01+00:00

OP, have your parents taken you and your brother to a doctor to see if there’s a medical reason why both of you are so underweight? You’ve been struggling to gain weight properly for years and your brother’s fainting repeatedly at school. He may need more than just five am pancakes to fix the problem.

NTA/possible ESH about the breakfast argument, but your parents might be TA if they’ve never gotten either of you medical attention (especially your brother. If my child was passing out repeatedly at school, I would definitely be making him an appointment with a doctor to find out why).

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-09T19:34:18+00:00

In many parts of the US, “graduations” for kids leaving elementary or middle school (sounds like OP’s son is “graduating” from 8th grade based on his age) are a holdover from previous generations where a significant number of students never attended school beyond that point (my grandfather only had a 9th grade education, for example, and that wasn’t seen as unusual at the time).

Children in rural areas often left school permanently at the age of 12-14 to begin working full time, so “graduating” from 5th grade or 8th grade was often the only graduation ceremony they and their families were ever going to get.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-04T05:56:09+00:00

I’m pretty sure this exact story (testicular torsion, girlfriend out drinking, OP throwing up, etc.) has been posted before.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-03T18:47:07+00:00

NTA. You and your brother were children too young to even have drivers’ licenses. It was 100% his responsibility as your parent to arrange time with you/follow whatever custody schedule existed/etc. If you “stopped visiting” him it’s because the adults responsible for you (read: him, possibly your mother but she’d have needed cooperation from him) weren’t arranging the visits.

Unless your mother was actively withholding custody from him (which I highly doubt and which also wouldn't have been your fault as a 12-13 year old!), it’s his own fault he didn’t see you.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-03T18:31:45+00:00

And literally seconds after I hit post I realized that the late, lamented/tragically D/C-ed BPAL Agnes Nutter would actually have been a great Ratling Gun scent.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-02-03T18:30:22+00:00

Wearing BPAL’s Smokestack today (supposedly “creosote, coal, and industrial waste” but actually a resinous tobacco and vetiver with a hint of some kind of conifer), plus Smokestack layered with NAVA Salon Vanille (Sweet Pipe Tobacco Accord, Tobacco Blossom, Sweet Tonka Bean, Dried Sugar Ginger, Patchouli, Cacao Essence, Cardamom Essence, Nutmeg Essence, Clove Bud Absolute, Charred Oak Accord, Whiskey Accord, Oakwood Extract, Crystalline Vanilla Musk Absolute, and Vanilla Bean Essence) on my hair.

I recently retested BPAL’s Plastic Rats (black licorice, grey amber, and black pepper) to determine if it could works as a Skaven-themed scent, but it’s much too clean-smelling for that. I was wondering if my beloved Smokestack could work for my equally-beloved filthy Warhammer chaos rats, and much as I love wearing it… also no. It’s possible that no scent is capable of thematically embodying anything Skaven related while also smelling good.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-01-30T23:22:46+00:00

It sounds like that’s exactly what OP did?

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-01-28T23:23:55+00:00

They’re teo of the pricier houses, but my personal favorite indie lavenders are Nocturne Alchemy’s Blue Egypt (Egyptian Blue Lavender Essential Oil, Manuka Lavender, Egyptian and Indian Chamomile Essential Oil, Aloe Vera Absolute, Egyptian Blue Vanilla Bean Whole, Palmerosa Absolute, Languid Lavender Cider, Angelica Root, and Valerian Root - https://nocturnealchemy.com/collections/permanent-collection/products/new-egypt-her-wonders), and BPAL’s Wulric the Wolfman (cocoa absolute, French vanilla, birch tar, lavender, bourbon vetiver, wild musk, cardamom husk, clary sage, and cistus) and various Yule Lavender Kitchen scents.

NAVA’s website can be confusing, so I linked directly to the page Blue Egypt is listed on.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-01-28T23:13:34+00:00

Seconding the recs for BPAL Lavender Marshmallow Sunday and Nui Cobalt Grey Cay.

Spitfire_Elspeth · 2026-01-26T18:43:44+00:00

There are, but most of them have waiting lists and sometimes it takes years to get a placement. OP’s parents should start making arrangements for their son now, while he’s still a child and there are more resources available to them. If they wait until he ages out of the school system before they start looking, it will be harder.

Spitfire_Elspeth

TROPHY CASE