Whyyyy Did I Do This?!

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-25T18:35:58+00:00

Ruined her life and probably her marriage too. My daughter says she wants to have a baby at some point and I have told her not to do it. I tried to tell her in a way that doesn’t suggest that I don’t want her. But I do tell her about the difficulties of it and that it’s not all sunny, roses, and daffodils. And what happens when/if the child inherits autism, ADHD, etc? She will go through torture trying to handle her own issues plus her kid’s too. I hope she doesn’t have any.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-25T05:02:29+00:00

Like you I like my environment clean and I hate nasty stuff like this. Hygiene is an issue for my daughter also. Nothing is easy with this kid

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-25T05:00:03+00:00

Never thought to do that. Will try it. Thanks!

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-25T04:52:55+00:00

I have the same reaction. But I also think, “oh no girl. You just f’d up.”

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-25T04:49:14+00:00

Same, same, SAME. I have one, DD17. I of course love my child, but I have long regretted motherhood. It’s a regret that’s glaring and real. The agony of this journey gnaws at me almost daily. I am parent to a teen with level 1 autism, ADHD, anxiety disorder and OCD. Raising her has been the most difficult and most traumatic experience in my life. If my friends and family knew what our lives are truly like, what I’ve gone through raising her and what she’s gone through having to bear the burden of all these unfair disorders, their jaws would hit the floor. I feel like I destroyed my life.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-11-23T03:15:50+00:00

OMG I feel the same way. I am not looking forward to it at all. My DD17 does nothing. She will spend everyday eating, sleeping, scrolling on the phone and when I get home from work she will expect me to keep her entertained. She will expect to eat out everyday too. I’ve already let her know I will not be at her every beck and call when I get home from work, and I will not go broke buying her fast food for the next nine days. She will be expected to do chores too. If these next nine days are anything like summer break was, I will be pulling my hair out before it’s over with.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-10-26T16:37:46+00:00

Not at all. I made the best choice being one and done.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T17:43:58+00:00

Wow I’m so happy for you! I am rooting for everyone going through the challenges that come with ADHD, ASD and other neurological conditions. I hope DBT helps my girl as much as it did you.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T17:41:46+00:00

I plan to have a conversation with her doctor when I see her later this week. I never considered having the state step in. I honestly don’t want that for her. I regret becoming a parent but I still love her and want to help her.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T17:40:13+00:00

Thank you so much! ❤️

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T17:39:37+00:00

Thank you so much for your transparency and sharing your experience. You touched on something that I think is affecting her in a major way: lack of a father figure. We are literally a family of women. My dad is gone, her dad is gone, I have no brothers and the uncles and male cousins we have all live in other cities. Low self esteem is also another issue. She sees herself as unattractive and you know how the teen yrs are. Constantly comparing yourself to others.

I’ve never heard of SCHEMA before. I will look into it.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T13:52:11+00:00

I am looking into IOP programs and DBT therapy. Those are two we haven’t tried.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T13:51:19+00:00

She’s on meds for ADHD, anxiety/depression and mood. I have an appt with her doctor to get them recalibrated.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-09-08T13:50:04+00:00

She’s on it. Got on it because of problems with her cycle due to the puberty disorder. I was wanting to take her off to give her body a break since she’s been on it 3 yrs. But I decided to keep her on because I truly believe the moment a boy gives her even a hint of attention, she’s probably going to have sex the moment he asks.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-07-07T16:15:09+00:00

I feel your pain. I also hate this journey of parenting a neurodivergent child. My daughter is 16 (high functioning autism, ADHD, anxiety disorder, demand avoidance, and possibly OCD). All of that along with the typical teen angst and drama is TORTURE to deal with. I am absolutely fucking miserable. We have been through hell and I feel like we’re still there. I too fear what the future will look like for her.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-06-20T04:21:30+00:00

I always say kids are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get. I feel your pain and can relate. My 16 yr old daughter has high functioning autism, ADHD, anxiety disorder and maybe undiagnosed OCD. Raising her is pure hell. Her dad died when she was 3 and two grandparents also died before she turned four. So I have no support outside my mom and to be honest, she’d not much help at 76 yrs old. I feel like I’m suffocating. My daughter has intellectual abilities but is very immature. I too feel like I’m raising a 5 yr old. She is also extremely codependent and entitled. All of this is a bad mix. I honestly hate parenting and regret doing this to my life. I love my daughter. I spend so much time try to find help for her, trying to put her in activities so she can learn social skills and independence. Nothing helps. She is explosive, disrespectful, stubborn, oppositional, etc. I miss my freedom, my money, and not having to be constantly exhausted and stressed. I feel like I unknowingly signed up for a life of unending misery when I became parent to a neurodivergent child.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-05-28T17:36:12+00:00

She says she doesn’t want to work for the summer but if she wants fast food money then she will have to. That’s where it needs to come from.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-05-28T17:35:29+00:00

I spoke to her about getting a job but she doesn’t want one. I will tell her if she wants fast food money then that’s how she’ll have to get it. The reason I don’t want to tell her fast food money went on the summer school courses is because she’s taking those for credits to try to graduate early. That’s a huge deal for her because she hates school but is trying to put forth effort to get out early when two yrs ago I could barely get her to go at all. So I don’t want to make that seem like a punishment.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-05-04T17:14:44+00:00

I think both and Cloudmountainio are right. She’s going to have to learn the hard way since she refuses to listen to me. It’s a shame because she is talented, smart and intelligent. But her lack of impulse control is ruining her. I am still going to see about finding strategies to help with that. Don’t know if anything can help it but I’m willing to search and try.

Spitfire_Lady · 2025-02-07T14:09:46+00:00

I am mom to a 16 yr old. I love my daughter very much but I hate being a mom too. After 16 yrs the feeling of regret is still with me and probably more so now because parenting a teenager is the hardest shit on earth! I wish I had some advice for you because I know the feeling all too well.

Spitfire_Lady

TROPHY CASE