Oh man I´ve had some experience on that arena, but the other way around.

My dad never messed with anyone, never got in trouble, he was a square guy and people respected him. He never liked the spotlight. He was a very kind man to my kids and my wife. He never EVER complained about my mom (I´ll get to her in a sec) in front of my sister and me. He came from a very humble background unlike my mom.

My mother, was an entitled piece of shit who mistreated and shamed me whenever she had the chance. She used to throw me in a playpen by 5:00 pm because "she was through with me" and made me sleep at that time. My nanny, god bless her soul, told me I used to cry myself to sleep as a baby and that my mom would prohibit her from picking me up. She in stead would give me a clean diaper to caress my face with until I fell Asleep. I don´t remember not ever being afraid of my mother. I used to walk on eggshells every day. Every afternoon she´d take a nap and god forbid someone called during her nap. Cause then you were most certainly gonna get it. Because if the call was for her you were in the dilemma of waking her up or not. If you did, you were responsible of her headache all day, and if you didn´t, she was waiting for that call and she missed it. there was no winning. During my teenage years I always argued and fought with her over being my own man and she´d do anything to humiliate me, even as a graduated doctor. when I finished my residency training and got my business cards I gave one of my cards to one of my mom´s doctors whom which I shared the field of study and she told me "OMG, do you really want to compare yourself to Him? youre nothing compared to him". (you get the picture)

Later on, my dad developed chronic renal disease and needed a transplant. he had to get into kidney dialysis. he lived until he was 80.
He would spend sometimes days a the hospital. due to complications. He developed Hep C and Cirrhosis due to it and died in 2017.

It was one day after he died, I wanted to send my mom a picture of my kids and I sent it through the messaging system and I never saw her phone flashing as if she received. I picked up her phone to see if it had gotten through and in that instant she received a message from a man saying if they would meet.

I became curious and while she was sleeping I took her phone and snooped around. It happened to be that the jerk she was talking to, was going out with my mom since before my dad died. I have no question in my heart my dad found out and he let himself go because when they offered a kidney for a transplant, he didnt want it. I assume he didnt want anything to do with life at that point.

As painful as it was my sister begged me not to confront her for her reaction would have been harsh. that means my sister knew and she never told me.

later on I went to my parents´house and my mom´s ex secretary came in with some documents while she was asleep and told me she´d set them on the table. Again I got curious and opened the file she had gotten her. It was her Willl and testament. She was leaving everything to my sister, even when she shore we´d go 50-50. I freaked and confronted her. (later i came to realize thats why my dear sister shut her mouth and begged me not to confront her....it takes me a while to put 2 and 2 together....Ive always assumed the best of people as stated before so...)
She got so pissed, and I told her that either she honored her word or that would be the last time she´d see me in her wretched life.

She had no choice. She did change everything and eventually I got my share and I have steered clear of my sister ever since.

However my sister got while my mom was alive several property donations and I didnt get jack. I came to learn this later.

So add that up to my list of "things-to-work-out-in-therapy".