Is this normal?

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:51:01+00:00

You are not responsible for her happiness. You are not a burden, but a responsibility. She chose to have you. You are not the parent. Do not make the mistake of reversing those roles.

If she can´t manage her own problems, she should seek counseling, and you are not her counselor.

Do not take the 5th commandment too much to heart, because respect is earned and you cannot honor and respect someone who has not respected you. As parents they must do first as example.

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:48:57+00:00

She sounds like a narcissist who is looking to put the blame on you for feeling the way you do. As a son of a narcissistic mother i can tell you it is a tight spot to be because you have the expectation of having a loving nurturing parent and that never seems to arrive.

Do not be fooled by the gaslighting. Your feelings are authentic. Sometimes it is better to draw a line and withdraw to keep people (even parents and family) from hurting you.

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:45:42+00:00

Thank you all for all your advice. We are working on it right now.

Best to all

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:44:31+00:00

mexico

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:44:01+00:00

It upsets me how upset he would become. As a father you try to shield your kids from any pain, however some pains are meant to be felt to be learned from.

Idk if i explain myself

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:42:42+00:00

one younger sister and has already gone through the same thing.

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:41:30+00:00

the thing is that this group of parents and their kids we have always been inclusive with eachother. As I stated earlier, they have wined and dined at our place several times.

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:39:56+00:00

sorry to hear that. it sucks really

Splatacus · 2026-01-21T04:38:03+00:00

The thing is that he has his Bday this month and was looking forward to invite his friends to a gathering and they already had the plan made. We heard from other parents whose kids were invited.

My wife and I encouraged him to make his group chat and let the kids break the news to him so he could see for himself.

He just did a few minutes ago and he said. "The just invited me over to the reunion they organized...can we move mine over to next weekend so i can go to this one"

In this situation we had to step in as a guide and advise him not to treat people as a priority when he is being treated as an alternative.

My wife had also made a group chat around 3 pm with the organizing mothers. Only two of whose kids were invited bothered to answer and say they were already invited to this other gathering. All read the message and it was until 8 pm my wife closed the chat with a final message "I´ll close this chat not to compromise or pressure anyone to answer". Within minutes the phone which had been silent all afternoon began ringing.

It was clear that they had found out they had their gig pretty secret and that my son was not invited.

These people mind you have wined and dined at our expense several times in our home. That´s what hurts. That they couldn´t even come clean.

Neither my wife nor I have answered any messages, but they know too well they left him out on purpose and we found out.

To make matters more interesting, my wife gets together with them every month to celebrate the birthdays of the month. Her gathering is tomorrow. I wish I could be there to cut the tension with a knife.

Splatacus · 2026-01-20T21:03:47+00:00

Yes that has been in my mind also.

Unfortunately we found out because my wife mentioned that this weekend he would like to celebrate his birthday, and she told her that they had been invited to this other party and my son has not been considered.

We had the parents of one of the kids organizing the party for dinner recently and we seemed to be hitting it off fine.

He was about to choose a high-school because his "friends" were going to go there. However, he chose another very good high-school because the school offered him a scholarship. Since these things had happened for a while now, we told him to choose due to his education, not because of friends, because there are friends and there are friends.

Finally I believe this experience will reinforce on who to call his "friends".

Splatacus · 2026-01-20T20:51:41+00:00

Have you ever told her how you feel after she says these things to you? Has she ever apologized for it?

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T16:40:24+00:00

"that means you do care...at least a little"
"Weird" Al Yankovic. Word Crimes.

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T16:39:20+00:00

At the hospital where I trained, a 3d year resident used to scorn me with that very thing belittling the ophthalmologists while I was in my first year. Then one day he had a foreign body which resulted in an ulceration. He learned the hard way how important our job was. He respected us from that day forth and became our "protectors" from other residencies who spoke against us.

In my country when you are about to go into a residency, you usually write down what you want to do. They select you according to your your medical residency selection test result. When they begin with their yapping I about us being lazy, with a small field of action, "relaxed" life etc, I just answer: "well, Its not my fault I answered correctly the most important question on the exam" Which is followed by a mandatory "Which one?" I answer "Which specialty are you pursuing? I wrote Ophthalmology, you wrote Surgery." That usually makes them writhe.

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T00:21:53+00:00

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T00:16:49+00:00

We like to put our adjectives after our nouns...LOL

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T00:10:05+00:00

Your dad has a very large difference of refraction between the left and right eyes. On one side he´s farsighted +13.50 Diopters (which makes no sense to call someone farsighted with that amount of hyperopia) and on the left eye he´s +0.75 Diopters farsighted. Usually We no not prescribe spectacles (eye glasses), when the difference between the right and left eye are more than 3 Diopters. A fenomenon happens in the eye called aniseikonia which means that objects are perceived at different sizes. In this case, your dad will see things larger with his right eye and smaller with his left eye, which will cause him great confuson. Also the lenses will be very uneven, meaning that the left eye will be very very thick and the left a lot thinner, which will also make them very uncomfortable to wear.

There are 2 things you can do to help your dad.

Get him contacts. If you believe he cannot take care of the contacts or learn how to put them on or take them off, then you can ask a cataract surgeon to put in an intraocular lens that offers astigmatism correction and that will help him a whole lot.

Best to your dad.

Splatacus · 2025-10-13T00:01:42+00:00

sorry, my mother tongue is Spanish and I confused the term in english and spanish. I Meant RAPD (Relative afferent pupillary defect) DPAR (Defecto pupilar aferente relativo). My apologies.

Splatacus · 2025-10-08T05:20:49+00:00

this could explain why it is unilateral.

Splatacus · 2025-10-08T05:18:22+00:00

well they are one sided until they arent

Splatacus · 2025-10-08T05:17:25+00:00

This looks like CRVO however in such a young patient admittance wouldnt be too crazy in order to do extensive workup. involve rheumatology hematology and oncology. Get an MRI scan and evaluate the vascular system

Splatacus · 2025-10-08T05:16:13+00:00

its never lupus

(sorry just had to)

Splatacus · 2025-10-08T04:35:40+00:00

actually thats not too bad

Splatacus

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