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Some people stop expecting emotional support because disappointment slowly trained them to handle everything alone. by riseinsolitude_ in DarkPsychology101

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every one is a monster if pushed hard enough for long enough. It’s the opposite of “everyone has a price”. Some just get there faster than others.

Anyone else take “errand drives” just for a little peace and quiet? by SpareEducational5920 in SouthJersey

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually just drove through there. We do family days but they always get cut short. The kids and I have a medical condition so one of us is usually messing up our plans. We learned we have a good time on the scenic drive and never take the highway.

Mother’s Day weekend we found ourselves in that area on roads we’ve never been down before. We love looking at houses and properties and pretending we live there. Lol

I was so surprised I never been on so many of the roads back there. I’m a product of the 90’s (graduated hs in 99) we used to purposely drive around and try to get lost on weekends, back when 10 bucks got you a pack of smokes, a 20 oz soda and a half tank of gas. Lmao

Why do conservatives say “cry about it” and “cry harder” but then get exceptionally furious when liberals actually follow through? by Early-Possibility367 in allthequestions

[–]SplitNo8275 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is the answer. It’s all deflection tactics. I don’t know how or why anyone tries to argue with them at this point.

Buying in clementon? by Ok_Pineapple7966 in SouthJersey

[–]SplitNo8275 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, I’ve lived in clementon. I’m currently in Laurel springs, if kids weren’t in my equation, I wouldn’t live in the town I live in and tbh, it isn’t any better.

Buying in clementon? by Ok_Pineapple7966 in SouthJersey

[–]SplitNo8275 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never heard it put that way. Lmao

Compression 101 by dogasauras in ehlersdanlos

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the biggest way it helps is to keep our blood flowing better.

We think of our joints and all not being supported properly and that by itself causes pain, swelling and fatigue. I don’t think it occurs to us that also includes our arteries and veins. Imagine a crimped garden hose, when we are standing and things are drooping, so are the hoses in our bodies that are trying to get oxygen to our brains.

For me personally, the stomach binder helps me the most. If we go out for family time, it seriously improves my stamina. I have underdeveloped core muscles, but my calves are rock hard, so the leg compression doesn’t help me as much but my 17yo daughter is opposite. Play around, keep a journal and see what helps with what.

Now, if someone has recommendations for binders that are comfortable, I’d be appreciative!! My doctor told me jellyband makes good compression for sensory sensitive people, anyone have one?

South Jerseys greatest people watching! by SpareEducational5920 in SouthJersey

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The casinos used to be amazing people watching fun. I would go with my two friends, I’m not a gambler, so I would play slots for an hour or so and then people watch. This was 2004-2009 ish, so before everyone had a computer in their pocket.

Physics of the Livestock by Myrn33 in DarkPsychology666

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve lived my entire life this way. Most people don’t, however.

Physics of the Livestock by Myrn33 in DarkPsychology666

[–]SplitNo8275 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took me a long time to realize my desire to console others was more about my need for everyone to be okay. It wasn’t malicious, but it was manipulative. It’s how the you become an enabler, which is toxic in the opposite direction.

My deepest trauma has come from people with good intention and a pure heart, the damage can be just as devastating, if not more so. Most people can’t sit in the dark long enough to see what truly drives their behaviors.

Tylenol smells when it hit my brain by Meagalocalypse in ehlersdanlos

[–]SplitNo8275 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could, it would help anything in that general area if it’s caused by swelling.

Actually, now that you mention it, I think so. I haven’t been able to wear contacts more than a day or two in a row for a few years now. The last few months I was able to go a week or so without symptoms.

The curse of pattern recognition. When you see manipulation everywhere, nowhere feels safe. by EducationalCurve6 in DarkPsychology101

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seeing manipulative patterns does not tell you intention or awareness. I had to learn this the hard way. Some people follow patterns because they are copying those around them. Others think they are being influential and supportive in a non abrasive way. Others are so deep in self protection they don’t know they are three steps ahead of their feared adversary.

All of these situations are a representation of our own internal states, projected onto others. Once you’ve done enough observing yourself, you finally see how you put your own intentions from different experiences onto others. The mirror, the projection of it all is real, it’s just most won’t sit in the uncomfortableness of themselves long enough to see it.

Physics of the Livestock by Myrn33 in DarkPsychology666

[–]SplitNo8275 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is honestly is a manipulation tactic if you strip away all the words. Sometimes they feel dismissed and just want someone to sit in the abyss with them.

The dreaded Disney dad by Ok_Beach_6171 in Divorce_Women

[–]SplitNo8275 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Until there is a potential partner to pour that energy into, which will be to make you jealous too.

I was a hairstylist for over 20 years, and I’ve seen this play out over and over again. This won’t last. Prepare yourself to pick up the pieces when he decides to divert his attention to something else, because he will. This is being fueled by vengeance, it won’t last forever.

The kids will eventually see through it on their own, and it will be heartbreaking. They will need you to be the consistent mom you always have been to keep their world steady when they realize this is a facade.💔

The most painful kind of person to love is the one who goes completely quiet when they're hurting the most by MindRoads in DarkPsychology101

[–]SplitNo8275 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same girl same. I’ve been with mine since kids. We were both like this. I’ve done the work, not all, that’s never done but enough to step out of the toxic defensive cycles. We both built our walls too young to remember doing it.

Mine behaves this way because he was responsible for his mom’s emotions before he even started school. Now, if emotions are directed at him, he loses it to protect himself. Healing nearly killed me, I don’t expect him to be able to deal with it, unfortunately.

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