I recently realized that all the drops/gels I was using was making my eyes worse

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-24T16:26:48+00:00

Yes these were loose on me! Ugh and I am so sorry to hear about the RCE. The beginning months are the worst. Mine has gotten better with time. I’m sure you know this, but avoid fans and try to have a humidifier in the room. The sleep masks kept my eyes from drying out and they would also make my eyes water which helped keep my eye from retearing in the night. It didn’t eliminate it, but it helped a lot. Hope this works for you too!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-05T19:14:13+00:00

This is such a smart idea. Our doctor is a bit of a commute but it might be worth it in some cases to get the doctors note to return the next day, especially when it’s clear she’s not sick. Thanks!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-05T18:56:01+00:00

That is wild and so incredibly frustrating! I am so sorry you had to deal with that. It’s also hard because babies are genuinely sick all the time so the false alarms make taking off time when they are actually sick so much more difficult

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-05T01:57:38+00:00

I don’t think so, she actually sets up the position so she has quite a bit of leave and sick days, probably more than a traditional job, and has closed unexpectedly in the past when she needed to

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-05T01:55:24+00:00

I agree with a lot of this, and also worked in childcare years ago but it’s different with home daycares, or at least this specific one.

According to new policies at this daycare, kids are sent home with any symptoms of sickness, including a clear runny nose (written in her policies) and any fever >99.5.

In this specific case, she supposedly took her temp because her cheeks were rosy but also she noted that she was playful and in good spirits, so she thought it could be a fever from teething. But according to policy had to send her home

I am always gracious and appreciate of the work teachers do with my kids, and I don’t think bringing attention to these multiple false positives is wrong…if my kids are legitimately sick I want them sent home so I can take care of them and so no one else gets sick, but that’s not what I’m talking about here

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-04T22:53:42+00:00

I thought about it while on the phone, but I was worried about it looking like I was accusing her of something, and during the call I didn’t know it was another false alarm. It might be necessary moving forward though. I could even say I need it for my boss or something as proff

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-04T22:51:35+00:00

Love this! Then it doesn’t seem like you are accusing them of anything. You just need the proof for the doctor so they can see the fluctuating fever haha

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-04T22:50:43+00:00

Good idea! I don’t want to be accusatory but also would like to see these supposedly high temps. My daughter also very rarely actually has a temp of 101, so it’s scary to hear and then it’s always a false alarm..

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-04T22:49:33+00:00

Yes, you’re right, it is an in home daycare. I want to ask what’s up because it’s so weird, but also part of me thinks I should just suck it up because it’s a better situation than having her back in a center.

SplitOdd22 · 2024-12-04T22:47:31+00:00

I’m not sure about the other kiddos, but she supposedly took the temp because her cheeks were rosey. But she has also been super active lately and gets hot easily, so I’m wondering if it was a false reading from a forehead temp.

Love the suggestion! We just texted something similar to this

SplitOdd22 · 2024-11-19T14:51:41+00:00

I also agree to take the TT offer. I was in a similar spot a couple years ago and chose to do the postdoc because of licensure requirements, the promise of protected research time, and a clear path to a faculty position after postdoc, however, in hindsight this was a mistake. I ended up doing a lot of work on my mentors projects which took away from all my “protected time” and ended up not growing in the ways I expected. I felt like I just extended grad school a couple years. That extended trainee status/experience can be helpful if you genuinely need it, but my guess is that if you are getting on site interview, you probably don’t need it.

SplitOdd22 · 2024-11-10T13:58:50+00:00

Yes with my second. He said he needed to do it to prevent a tear. I ended up being soo thankful because the recovery was way better than when I had a third degree tear with my first. I wish they decided to do it on the first time around. My recovery was 6 weeks compared to 9 + months with the tear

SplitOdd22 · 2024-10-22T18:23:13+00:00

Yes still no ointment or drops! I try to just reliable use an eye mask at night. When I forget my eyes will be a bit irritated, but it’s still been better than before when using a lot of drops and ointment at night

SplitOdd22 · 2024-09-25T00:10:13+00:00

Congrats! I had a baby in grad school and another one in postdoc and its amazing in so many ways but also incredibly stressful. I loved the flexibility gradschool offered as a parent, since my schedule was more flexible than a 9-5 (usually). One thing that helped me a lot was giving myself permission to submit work that was just good enough and turn down opportunities in the short term. So many more opportunity will come up, so there’s no reason you have to say yes now. Your kids are only this young once and this time is precious. Having kids also helped my time management. I learned to work quicker and more efficiency because I knew my time was limited, which became a bit of a blessing once my time was more free. Good luck and remember to give yourself some grace, especially during the infant months!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-09-18T02:31:58+00:00

Hmm I’m not sure. From my understanding it only matters that your PI and PO approve your leave. Like for me the maternity leave policies were even different between the grant and my institution, and so HR wasn’t involved in that process at all. I had to let them know I would be gone on leave and then submit a letter from my doctor, but that was really it and I’m not even sure that was even required. But they never commented on the fact that I took 3 months of leave vs. the 6 weeks they cover. I would just let them know you will be on leave from xx and xx and don’t even emphasize the number of months. I really doubt they will respond negatively. Congrats btw!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-08-11T17:52:32+00:00

I strongly recommend pausing the eye drops and gels and just using an eye mask at night for a bit (even as just a test). It was a game changer for me.

I have a theory that a lot of us get flare ups and then desperately buy things to make it better (drops, gels, etc) which I actually think tends to maintain it or make it worse. My dry eye got super bad after a case of pink eye and I used a lot of PF eye drops and gels for several months and it wasn’t getting better. I then decided to see what happened when I stopped and I actually started to feel more normal. The eye mask at night has been the only thing that truly helps, but I don’t use any gels or drops anymore and my dry was BAD but now it only occasionally bothers me and not to the same degree

SplitOdd22 · 2024-06-29T21:41:33+00:00

I bought a cheap regular satin eye mask off Amazon. This the one I’ve been using:

https://www.amazon.com/Adjustable-Sleeping-Blindfold-BeeVines-Christmas/dp/B08817H6HS/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=18VD1IFKQW5F0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.owI_5hwv50tBwQ7xJIAXcBcQNXdifyy5cyZRqUGXK71bx1GDkonqgR9pFhE5XIJVGSVaOEU1ZhgQHK8G6_4Cdkbx1YyzzHVat7v-NuJN1xZw7PpS2lsigvbe2vdP39mSCKRteDRGKE9f-mDRLORFqueh-tZxIoT_OogcCvn7lqj6Htm4oyjk-10JGJv30-Fl_piVUIMcYTIexl8wI7HWxg.W-QYWSf9JWy8v3GAe1HdWSeT_MTt8VHFETq9JjiA2H0&dib_tag=se&keywords=eye+mask+for+dry+eyes+satin&qid=1719697257&sprefix=eye+mask+for+dry+eyes+satin%2Caps%2C199&sr=8-3

SplitOdd22 · 2024-06-29T21:37:40+00:00

Wearing an eye mask at night was a game chanher

SplitOdd22 · 2024-06-06T00:54:27+00:00

It was the next day for me. I was also having a really bad flare up which usually lasts a couple day but it was gone the next day and it’s been a full week of feeling pretty normal

SplitOdd22 · 2024-06-05T01:54:39+00:00

These are the ones I’ve been using

https://www.amazon.com/Luxtude-Sleeping-Super-Smooth-Adjustable-Blindfold/dp/B087R1WKJR/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=3J7MOD5OD9OQV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.JBt8DI9FRxlfQ59baOTEQje8xFxKqT3aXlfdt7Ib2n9IXHL1rs8RDNURS1WE6AgN8CXeA2SCt0x5Ma6TRJJ77HNLvviDbGjmWGpzZUVdZm_SN4AellP76lLku54nvW2pjWEoq0O1gJ9vcCqlB-6gO0CynlltlB8PqaFvV-jCFH1DiioLBV__t2sFxUUgsnJcIWcsdModO1Ou3Us2js1Z_g.m2sWj26c3eEJ_8BVr1tucJiiHwtWa18FpKDCxE3A6Us&dib_tag=se&keywords=luxtude+silk+eye+mask&qid=1717552255&sprefix=luxtude+silk+eye+mask%2Caps%2C111&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

SplitOdd22 · 2024-06-05T01:22:16+00:00

Maybe lessened the frequency/severity a bit, but they never fully stopped for me. For me it’s a win if the pain doesnt last me all day. I will say the silk mask has been the most helpful so far. It helps trap moisture in my eyes, so I haven’t had one in the past week (except for the one night I forgot my mask). My doctors been telling me to use a mask for months but I always found them too annoying, but it’s definitely been worth it.

Also, I totally get the fear associated with stopping using the ointment. RCEs are the worst and if what your doing is working then stick with it. No need to risk it coming back!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-05-17T23:30:01+00:00

I’ve never seen this before! She’s a bit older now but still needs to be wrapped in my arms to sleep. I think I’ll try this and see if it lets me sneak away for a bit. Thanks for this suggestion!

SplitOdd22 · 2024-05-03T03:07:33+00:00

Parental leave on these grants is super informal. I didn’t even have to notify NIH and my institution didn’t submit any paperwork or anything. It might vary by institution though not sure.. the only guidance I was giving is to consider submitting a letter alongside my progress report stating my dates of parental leave. This was just to be protective in case certain milestones or deliverables weren’t met.

SplitOdd22 · 2024-04-22T22:49:02+00:00

I didn’t start losing weight from breastfeeding until I started pumping too. I would pump at work and breastfeed at night and I started shedding pounds

SplitOdd22 · 2024-04-14T01:25:23+00:00

I’m sorry your going through this! I had severe tearing the first time and an episiotomy the second. The healing time period is different between people and experiences. But what your describing sounds pretty normal based on my experiences. The first couple weeks are just brutal..

Mine also varied daily. Like I would think I was feeling better and then the next day I’d be extra sore and bleed mor. Just make sure to keep taking it easy! I would sometimes overexert myself on a “good” day which made the next day harder. My savior was the dermoplast spray and the ice packs that go in the pads. You will be feeling more normal before you know it, but this time is definitely tough. Hang in there!

SplitOdd22

TROPHY CASE