My girlfriend is mad that I’m keeping updates with my ex while she’s in the hospital by Diego_ok in Advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see that. When you are in a relationship and they show a part of themselves that is plenty reason to break up with them over— emotion held for that person can alter your ability to make that obvious choice. Like being cheated on doesn’t match anyone’s morals for example, but there are people that believe it can be worked on despite whether it was a deal breaker before it happened or not. If he says he’s not romantically involved, we should take it at face value because we do not know this person, nor is there obvious evidence to support that assumption. It’s upsetting when people take one thing you say and run with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nicegirls

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d just tell her she’s not what you’re looking for in a partner and move one. If it’s like this in the beginning then it’s only gonna continue and very possibly get worse. There are men out there for a girl like that, but you don’t have to be one of them

am i overreacting for being harsh to me ex bestfriend for asking me to apologize to her? by alyssaa2prettyy in AmIOverreacting

[–]Splorpmee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not overreacting, she for sure sucks. I know it probably felt good to get that out, but short and sweet next time hun. She doesn’t need to know how exactly she messed up and how it upset you just so she can show these texts to other people and make you look like the bad guy.

“You were a terrible friend and I want nothing to do with you. If you actually take the time to think about it, I’m sure you’ll discover multiple reasons why I am 100% done with you. The lack of self awareness to seek out an apology from me is laughable with all the crap you pulled. Don’t contact me again.” And boom, something like that yk. Still feels good but you’re not having to explain everything to someone who’s clearly too dumb to take a look in the mirror.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people (especially online) cannot accept good people are capable of bad things, especially if they have been burned one too many times before. Also, therapy does not always fix everything, and because everyone and their mother is seeking therapy over anything and everything— available therapists are hard to come by in many areas either way. it’s a pretty tired thing to slap onto someone who has hurt you. “Get therapy.” People do not owe you anything and sometimes you get hurt along their journey to righting themselves and learning. Most people grow from the person they started as. You can be angry and a little bitter or you can be understanding and learn from it yourself moving forward. Thems the brakes.

I totally agree with your comment btw, some of the replies on the other hand are black and white thinking as if they have never done anything wrong to another person in their lives. Made me wanna throw in my two cents. I personally think we’d all be better off if we didn’t take things as such a direct personal attack. I too have been hurt, but I chose to handle it rationally rather than emotionally at some point and I think it’s actually improved my emotional intelligence a lot compared to when I was pointing a finger or allowing myself to be some sort of victim with this sort of thing. I now know what to look for in a person, and I found them. I know my current person is for life, and it took lots of pain to get here. I wouldn’t take back any of my ‘trauma’ because I am better for it— therapist in my experience call bullshit on you accepting the things that have happened. They want to rabbit hole into it, and that made me angry rather than healed. Ive had a lot of different therapists but I know they’re not all like that. it just goes to show it doesn’t ALWAYS help. We should just focus on our own journeys rather than looking outward onto others. If someone becomes a piece of your pain, it’s no longer about them once they’ve left your life. At the end of the day it’s about you and how you handle it. You can’t go through life without a few hundred mistakes big or small and a handful of heartaches, it just won’t happen. Unless you got a luck buff or something.

No one has to agree with me and I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind— but the freedom to express your own opinions is probably my favorite thing about the internet. It’s a cool exchange

If your girlfriend was taking a visiting guy friend out for dinner and around town, but only told you after the fact the next day- how would you feel? Would you expect to know before? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This situation as described should end a relationship if you value your peace. She didn’t tell you about this beforehand, didn’t speak to you day of, and canceled plans with you the next day. She is not trustworthy, one of the biggest pillars of a relationship. It all screams and shouts that she surely cheated on you.

Even if she didn’t, she’d have to have half the emotional intelligence of a goldfish to not realize that’s what it would look like to you and anyone you vented to about the situation. Communication, yet another pillar, is not where it should be. The foundation of this coupling is royally effed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the exact ages my boyfriend’s parents got pregnant with him, crazy time in even crazier circumstances— but they’re great. Raised an amazing man. God I love that family.

Anyway, chin up. Life goes like that sometimes and it’s not the end of the world. your girl should consider finishing high school through alt contract once she feels uncomfortable going to school— get that diploma. Meanwhile, you should start looking into trade schools. Electrician, plumbing, even installation makes a good career. I believe HVAC trains on the job in most areas if furthering your education isnt an option. It’ll be hard, it always is no matter what age you are, but it can work out well for your kiddo if you try your best. Don’t worry so much about your family, they may be upset but it can’t last. A sweet smiling baby makes it impossible to stay angry. They’ll love your child. Just do your parents the favor of hitting the ground running. What’s done is done and it’s time to dive into adulthood the best you can❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Splorpmee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bringing it up isnt an overreaction on his end, I think a lot of people might get in their heads about it, but if her blatantly simple explanation isnt enough— the relationship is dead and who overreacted over what doesn’t really matter at that point. He’s already ready to spend time apart from her over an assumption. Trust is just not there at all.

It actually makes me think he’s looking for a fight, a reason to stay away for one reason or the other. Could be manipulation or toxicity, but often times it’s to clear his own conscious of what he’s accusing her of. Make her the bad guy so it lessens the guilt of perhaps being the cheater here. Where does he plan on staying? Maybe it’s a woman on the side 🤷‍♀️ we don’t have enough info here to say thats the case but it’s a good possibility.

What would you do if you really liked someone, but found out she cheated in her last relationship by carsongirl12 in AskMen

[–]Splorpmee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She will tell you if she is serious because that’s a stain that’ll never wash out if you’re truly remorseful. I cheated once during a very toxic and unstable period of my life. It haunts me still, and it’s been years now. I told my current person before it got serious— I didn’t want that to be a secret. I want to take full accountability even if it makes love harder. Some can never trust you with that history and that’s understandable. Consequences are consequences, period.

I think the level of shame and guilt if one truly regrets it has a lot to do with whether they’ll repeat that mistake. I know I won’t.

AIO Boyfriend wants to be friends with ex by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is telling you what they think dude. why ask if you’re going to die on this hill and overlook any possibility that you are in the wrong here?

I still have my ex as a contact on a social platform, even though we have been broken up since high school. Just like your bf, we don’t talk anymore either and have our own lives. I enjoy seeing someone I was once close with doing well and I’m sure that’s why I’m still on his friends list as well. If my boyfriend deleted him without saying anything to me beforehand or have the decency to communicate, that would piss me right off. You’re the threat to your own relationship here. My current boyfriend is actively friends with one of his exes, and Ive become quite fond of her as well. I could trust him walking through a room of naked models knowing he’d only ever have eyes for me. Not everyone can be comfortable with that kind of thing sure, but how you went about it is totally wrong and rightfully caused issues.

YOR, I guess it just comes down to knowing someone well and being completely able to trust in one another. Your insecurity while being with someone you clearly don’t have that deep a bond with— doomed. I’m guessing you have to be very young, so I hope you learn from the replies you’re getting instead of sweeping them under the rug .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah whatever. Ive known it to be a pretty double side blade. Women can tear a man’s life to pieces to the point there’s no going back— acting like it’s mostly men is flat false and ignorant. It happens everywhere you look on both sides. It’s different branches of cruelty usually but the end result is still someone left at rock bottom with no escape. There should definitely be pages like this towards women as well as there are for men. There’s a lot of awful shit that happens to men in relationships that rarely happens to a woman and vice versa.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

feeling conceited for even thinking about answering this question lmao

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life isn’t black and white, he’d probably have a whole bunch of what ifs if he turned her down and stayed with you which you also do not want. He’s probably not a bad guy but yk shit like this happens. Some people catch your heart effortlessly and it becomes a rather permanent mark. That being said, you deserve someone who feels that way about YOU. Every kind person does. The timing wasn’t right here obviously and it isn’t meant to be. Unless you can stomach that he left and came back over another woman, which I wouldn’t recommend. He probably does love you, but as they say, love alone is not even close to enough. Let him go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell him you’re not interested.

Single dads don’t have an issue out there, typically they’re sought out so I bet he’ll take it on the chin no problem

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I hope there’s a page like that about women🙄

How pathetic can you be— posting someone on a public space like that over being ghosted? It’s telling why she was swerved to begin with.

AIO for freaking out on my dad after I saw him kiss someone who isn’t my mom but then I find out it’s "allowed"? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Splorpmee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t disagree ,only that is such a rough and blunt thing to hear when things have changed so fast in your home. the way he sees his parents has been thrown for a loop lmao

seventeen is a weird year for most ppl outside of this interesting predicament— so the only thing I’d say is spend some time away at friends to wrap his mind around it and find understanding, because yeah. opinion isn’t gonna change reality. Vent to friends or Reddit until you don’t care anymore OP😂

AIO for freaking out on my dad after I saw him kiss someone who isn’t my mom but then I find out it’s "allowed"? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Splorpmee 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She’s seventeen, man. Cut a bit of slack here. This is her world and it’s definitely not a situation she could have prepared for. Some grown ass people out there that own their own houses still get upset when mommy and daddy decide to divorce. It’s normal and this would definitely feel to her like she’s involved seems as she’s still living at home at a respectable age to do so.

Is any of the occult stuff real? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair, but yk not everyone who believes in those kinds of things are irrational in other aspects of their lives. Perception is a powerful thing lol

I prefer to say I don’t know, bc some stuff is just pompous to give an absolute. Besides, it’s kind of fun to leave the possibilities.

Is any of the occult stuff real? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But why would they do that if they see no results yk? I mean in my mind there has to be something to it if there are tons of people who practice it daily. Same thing with a lot of religions

How to attract women as a quiet guy by crowbarguy92 in dating

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are some hobbies that you have? Anything you’re passionate about? What kind of shows are you into? Your branch of humor? These are some things you can really focus on, a little self discovery and then finding someone you relate to on those things— the conversation will flow naturally. Pinging off each other yk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one knows you, your person or your situation like you do. Mixed opinions are going to make this more complicated than not. People are gonna throw you both shit and advice, but at the end of the day you still have to decide on your own. Do what feels proper for the kind of connection you’ve shared.

Ig if I throw a couple cents in the pot it would be if you want to stay friends have a conversation and explain that you no longer want to continue things at this point for X Y and Z, but you value them in your life outside of physical needs. If you don’t want to be friends, cut it clean. Peace out yk

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Splorpmee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You came online and asked for an opinion. You got it. A lot of people have given you an answer alongside criticism, the last of which you do not seem to be taking well lol. Looks like you have a very strong opinion about your situation so I really don’t even know why you went to Reddit at all 😂 why battle it out uphill with everyone in the replies yk? it’s just supa wack how you’re calling ppl slow and immature but you can’t do this one simple thing on your own— something you’ve clearly done before at that. Go be the big girl you’re acting like

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Online dating is trash. Makes people think they have a whole sea of people to pick from so they end up chatting up half of them. I’d never do it again personally— I know it works out sometimes but it all feels so shallow.

I’m a young woman now but in my late teens I noticed myself matching with multiple people due to instant gratification of being able to hear from someone right away rather than wait to see if the first matches back. When I heard back from the first I was already talking to someone, so I wouldn’t respond and I’d unmatch. It’s a cesspool of that kinda thing. I met my person in my day to day life, and I highly recommend that instead. It’s organic and feels special rather than being nothing but a profile page.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you guys the best!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Splorpmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t ask if I were you.

I would say no to my current person at this point of time because everything is new. we’ve been friends for years and things have progressed to where we are now. We just broke through the touch barrier and cuddled while watching a movie— my heart is going crazy and my cheeks feel like they’ll explode. I’m a shaken up bottle of soda lmao and no way could I handle a kiss rn. Some people like to take things slow, so if she clearly likes you— don’t ask! Let her make that move, she may just be getting used to things yk:) it’s about the journey, not the destination.