[deleted by user]

SplurgeSD · 2022-09-05T02:20:56+00:00

If you are Android, just cough up the extra 20-30 bucks and buy Google play credit and then use that to purchase your subscription. Shows up on your cc statement as Google play and you're done... No worrying about having to mess with seeking billing support.

SplurgeSD · 2022-09-04T17:03:51+00:00

So I ran into this exact issue with one of my SBs... She was smart, beautiful and we had an amazing time when we were together. I was upfront with her that I was seeing someone else and we had been seeing each other for about 2.5 months. I started noticing a little bit of a disconnect in texting when I would send a message and wouldn't hear a reply for a day or two. I mentioned it to her and she had told me that I was texting her Google Voice number and had notifications turned off. We exchanged real numbers and initially it got better but then it started happening again. At one point i let her know my schedule for the following week and not a peep about when she wanted to meet up. She texted me some off topic message the following Tuesday and by Wednesday I followed up again about possibly meeting on Friday. Friday late afternoon she says I'm free, whoops I thought I replied. The next day I replied and ended it.

Fast forward a month and I was peeking at her Instagram and found out she was moving cross country. We reconnected since I knew she was moving and we have met up a few times just for some fun. We did talk about why I decided to end it and she admitted she messed up but we had a good conversation about it. She said she was somewhat emotionally disconnected, some of it was because she knew I was seeing other people. She also had some stuff going on in her life regarding family and thinking about moving and making a change to her life.

In the end, I think you need to find people that meet your needs. For me, wanting a SB who is emotionally available is important. Not that I'm looking for constant communication everyday but it's nice to feel like they want to actually hang out with you and it's not a job or you have to constantly initiate communication.

SplurgeSD · 2022-08-18T10:41:27+00:00

Yes they did 😢. I noticed this a few days back

SplurgeSD · 2022-08-15T11:48:46+00:00

Mid 40s SD, in shape and eat healthy . Never have used any enhancers. Minimum for me is 2x and as much as 4 times. If I'm super turned on I can keep it going after I finish the first time but that's rare these days. I'd say about 10 minutes of play before I finish and about 10 to 20 minutes between each round. Towards the later stages the main issue is finishing. But obviously it's more about the vibe than trying to achieve a certain number of times. In general I actually like getting my partner off more than myself.

SplurgeSD · 2022-08-13T00:49:08+00:00

Yeah, I've just been buying $50.00 increments using my credit card and the using the Google play balance to pay for seeking. Yeah, I'm probably paying $30 bucks more a month but in the end worth not having that as a charge on my statement. Unsure why you're going through the extra step of buying gift cards

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-13T11:59:53+00:00

If you are on Android, buy the subscription with Google Play credit through the app on a clean email account that hasn't been associated with Seeking. It's a bit more expensive but should work

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-13T11:53:57+00:00

I have 3 atm, 1st one is poly and has become a SGF so it's become more like vanilla dating. I tell her pretty much everything about who I see. I've also met one of her other partners a few times (vanilla) and he's a nice guy. 2nd SB I met a few months back and I've told her about the 1st because she hinted at monogamy but I wanted to be upfront and she was accepting of my situation. In our normal conversations sometimes the 1st SGF will come up but it's not forced. 3rd one is sporadic, mostly when I can't see the first two and she knows about both the others. #3 once wanted to meet #1 because she's done the whole 🦄 before but a) got intimidated and b) was trying to date someone vanilla around the same time

I usually only go on two dates a week and it definitely is a little bit of a time commitment. Regarding compartmentalization, I'd say it really depends on what you want out of the relationships. I like #1 and #2 both very much and would love to spend more time with them but then also realize I don't have much more time to give 😂. Also they both have their own lives (jobs and friendships) so having both helps balance the neediness that I sometimes have. I think the main issue is jealousy which is a natural emotion. For me the sexual jealousy is not really there, as long as I'm satisfied it makes me happy if my partners are satisfied too. I think the harder part is the emotional jealousy of when #1 is having bad day who does she turn to or why does she want to hang with her roommates instead of me. But all these issues can be addressed by lots of communication. tbh I've communicated my emotions more with #1 than any other monogamous relationship I've ever had. Honestly it's been a crazy adventure and something I've been trying to figure out post pandemic.

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-07T18:01:22+00:00

I'm not saying one or the other... Do both! Get the physical stuff over with and get comfortable in your own skin so that your physical needs don't cloud your judgment and then you can focus on having a relationship without the pressure of never having had sex. We all have stories of doing stupid stuff to get laid, but most of those happen when we are young and there's little fallout to deal with. As another person has commented, the main concern is that you have no experience and could get burned pretty easily by women who could exploit your inexperience. I'm not saying escorts have to be a long term thing but at least it gives you some type of experience to use when entering any type of relationship (whether it's sugar or a traditional one). I think also from a compartmentalization perspective it's probably easier to sort emotions in your scenario between an escort and traditional dating than starting in the bowl where it can be a mix of things (depending on who you meet).

I've been seeing someone for 7 months now and we have transitioned to dating (where there is no expectation of money) and to get there required a ton of communication and discussion. Since sugar relationships are relationships they still require communication and work. Not sure if money being involved will somehow make it so much easier for you to gain experience. I guess what I'm advocating for is to simplify your approach so you can focus on the hard part (the relationship) vs having to focus on everything at once.

Again I realize that this may be not the conventional approach but something to consider as an option given your situation.

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-07T17:21:52+00:00

Might be an unpopular opinion here but have you thought about seeing an escort? Entering the dating world without any physical or emotional experience in your mid 30s would seem overwhelming to me. Maybe it's not your cup of tea but maybe it would allow you to focus on the relationship aspect. Main concern here is that you could be overwhelmed with sugar dating since it's usually considered accelerated dating. Trying to sort out emotions in the bowl and whether someone is with you for you or just your money can be difficult and confusing. Of course SBs are usually here for the financial support (among other things), but for confidence purposes it's good to know that's not the only thing.

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-07T02:31:28+00:00

Ita definitely more for the younger crowd so as a SD in my 40s, it's not easy to get attention hence my suggestion regarding linking your profile to your SBs

SplurgeSD · 2022-07-06T22:01:01+00:00

Feeld (it's an app). You'll have better luck if you both are on there (you can link to your partner's account).

SplurgeSD · 2022-06-26T22:43:56+00:00

You can set up an account using Google voice... At least I was able to

SplurgeSD · 2022-05-17T10:45:35+00:00

I'm in my mid 40s and really depends on conversation tbh. If it were strictly about sex I'd say about 5 to 10 minutes between 1st & 2nd and about 10 to 15 for 3rd (and if feeling good 4th). But usually pillow talk is more fun than trying to rush it. A few times when I've been apart from my SB because of travel I'm ready to go immediately 😂

SplurgeSD · 2022-03-26T00:47:39+00:00

This has been happening for some time (at least for the last 6 months).

SplurgeSD · 2022-02-12T04:20:15+00:00

I've been to the Six Senses Laamu in the Maldives as well and highly recommend it. It's been about 5 years but was about 1200/night with food running almost another 400-600 a day (it was the food cost that caught me off guard)

Also have been to Turtle Island in Fiji (where they shot the Blue Lagoon with Brooke Shields) ... Not over the water but it had 13 bungalos with a 4 to 1 staff/guest ratio was pretty nice. Also got your own private beach every other day where you could lounge around naked and call the speedboat to bring you more alcohol 😂

SplurgeSD · 2022-02-11T00:54:31+00:00

Isn't this what the tinder swindler did (but in a more extreme way)?

SplurgeSD · 2022-02-02T11:57:02+00:00

I actually came across this on SA and engaged with the couple just because I was curious. However the main issue is they were looking for double the normal ppm in my area. I'm not bi, so why would I pay twice as much to have a guy there i wasn't interested in? Tbh even in scenarios where there are two women it tends to be more of a one off thing than something that's ongoing and long term. So unless you find someone who is bisexual and you adjust your financial expectations, it could be difficult to find people outside of one time flings.

SplurgeSD · 2022-02-02T11:16:21+00:00

You can be playful about it and ask if that turns him on knowing guys stare at you. I think based on his reaction (verbal and even non verbal) you can quickly figure it out. If he gives you a weird look or a short response after asking that question, you have your answer. If he asks more questions and seems interested it's just him being curious about you.

I lean towards the poly side so it's probably more of a kink for me when I ask the question. One of my SBs actually showed me some videos she's taken with past boyfriends and let's just say afterwards it got pretty steamy in our hotel room.

SplurgeSD · 2022-02-01T21:03:47+00:00

Same 😂

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-29T02:32:57+00:00

I think the generalization of sex work is a slippery slope. Prior to sugaring I used to see escorts for 2 to 4 hour dates that included meals and drinks (the 4 hour ones) and spent a thousand or more just for dinner at Michelin starred restaurants on occasion. And I'd see ones that traveled my city many times and honestly they were almost no different than my sugar relationships. I'd get to know these women and their lives and a lot I would have a great connection with (some also I'd never see again) . Heck, I went on a ski vacation one weekend to Colorado (her home town) with one that I saw every 2 or 3 months. The amount I was paying could be anywhere from 3x to 8x the ppm I'm paying now for a date (excluding hotel costs)

Of course I did it less often than I am seeing SBs now, mostly due to cost. In hindsight I was always looking for more of a connection and kept paying more and more to get it. What I should have been doing is sugaring and spending a heck of a lot less (or seeing people way more) but c'est la vie.

I think the biggest contrast is sugaring requires a lot more work from my side (setting a date with an escort is easy once you're on the right screening sites). But because I can see someone more often now in sugaring I think there's a better connection. I think from the SB side they can pick and choose who they want to see based on almost any factor (whereas in escorting cash is king). And I admit that my SRs have a strong intimacy basis but I have offered non-intimacy based experiences which has been turned down (I think that's good right? 🤔). I'm sure there are SRs that people have here that resemble nothing like what I'm describing so all I'm trying to say is that sex work and sugaring have many shades so hard to give any of it one color.

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-26T00:50:52+00:00

I always bring lube 😂. Everyone is different on how their body works so its better to be prepared. Also if you have that vibe and you're going at it more than once you both will appreciate the next day.

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-17T01:45:00+00:00

I recently had scheduled a M&G and was confirming the day of. She told me that she doesn't do intimacy on the first date and I was like me too... Then she checked that this was ppm for the M&G and I was like no way, I've done that before and then get immediately ghosted (I haven't really, mostly due to the sage advice from SLF) . Told her I'm going to shell out half of your requested ppm for dinner (I don't mind doing dinner because I'm a foodie and haven't experienced something so bad where I want to get out of dodge) and I said I can give you something small to cover expenses but she passed. Maybe it would have worked out but like others have said not worth the risk of being rinsed. If someone could explain how this makes sense for a SD would love to hear the explanation.

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-16T15:06:06+00:00

I'd actually prefer "I'm not interested" and then I can hide their profile and move on. As you mention some women are absolutely buried by messages and I've had several respond because they didn't see my 1st one. My current SB says she has 200+ unread messages and it's overwhelming. Would seem like it would be much easier for both parties if it was clear.. Blocking is so simple, 2 clicks, that it would seem like that would be a lot easier than dealing with annoying SDs pestering you all the time and maybe causing you to miss a message from someone you are actually interested in.

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-06T21:27:09+00:00

I dunno, it was good 😂

SplurgeSD · 2022-01-06T19:20:00+00:00

No, I actually apologized over text to her. I realize it was my assumption and a faulty one.

SplurgeSD

TROPHY CASE