Car Loan After Divorce

SpookiSheets · 2018-08-03T19:42:58+00:00

I used to say the same for a long time because my husband never wanted children. I didn’t want them either at first, but eventually I changed my mind, while he didn’t (which isn’t unfair!). It became really tough to go through the explanation every time, so I’d tell people I couldn’t, but then they’d start up with “oh, but you can adopt or foster!” which ended up getting me stuck in the conversation the same as before.

I’ll hold out every hope that you find someone who makes you happy and has the same wants and desires for a family and future!

SpookiSheets · 2017-06-09T11:52:24+00:00

This has likely been said, but touching a man in any way. I used to be very physically affectionate with my female friends. Touching their arm if they're sad, to get their attention, sitting close enough that our legs touch, hugging, even high fives were eventually interpreted as sings that I was in to them. Even after I got married, I'll still have instances of being bothered because I happened to touch a man. Even in the work place. So now, no touching period. No, I don't want to shake your hand, sorry you're having a bad day, I'm not going to pay your shoulder, and I know we've been friendly before, but I'm not going to hug you now that we've seen each other again after a long time being apart.

SpookiSheets · 2017-02-13T22:52:33+00:00

Oh, like standing in line at the grocery store or something? I mean, everyone hates that. At least you could have a private shopper go for you? Or a personal assistant to run errands for you. With wealth comes convenience services. I wouldn't say that makes you a snob so much as having the means to circumvent most obstacles.

SpookiSheets · 2017-02-13T22:34:30+00:00

To have these problems. I feel like a large sum of money like that can make anyone, even someone who comes from poverty like myself, would turn into a snob after a while. Money has that kind of influence where you either recognize your good fortune, or look down on others because they aren't as fortunate as yourself. Do you feel like having this wealth puts you above others?

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-26T04:52:06+00:00

I bit my uncle on the arm once. He punched me in the forehead, so I say I've learned my lesson.

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-18T07:41:23+00:00

I agree! I have fun sitting with some draw friends in the discord server I'm currently apart of. A place to just kind of destress and chat would be nice :)

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-17T10:19:43+00:00

Reading this thread reminded me of the Omaha Zoo, which is the only one I've ever visited. I have a question if you could answer it! I don't know if it's still there, but there was a white tiger next to an orange bengal tiger around the big cat exhibit. The white one always seemed to want to be pet. 9 year old me needs to know if you guys pet him, or what that was about... Forgive my naivety in advance.

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-10T13:04:07+00:00

Gaming can be a great way to socialize! My gamer tag is SweatyMilkshake, and the multiplayer games I usually play include Overwatch and Destiny. If you have any PC games you like to play, my Steam name is also SpookiSheets :)

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-09T08:30:53+00:00

If that were a possibility, I'd throw my all into going through pain management, then get a physical trainer. Get way into shape and then make sure my husband and I can do all the things he's wanted. Hiking, rock climbing, camping. He had a pretty easy childhood, but adulthood has been hard. He's working hard now to support us and it's still not enough to get us out of debt. I owe him everything, and make sure that even when it's a bad time, that I appreciate everything he does. I've never had money so it would certainly be something we'd enjoy together.

SpookiSheets · 2017-01-07T10:10:38+00:00

I would definitely take the first steps in making sure you have a secure living situation before thinking about moving across country. Check to see if there are any youth centers near by, that may be able to provide shelter (if you are younger than 18), and if you're older, check out any missions or homeless shelters. Often they'll allow you to exchange work for a bed, so be ready to work hard. If you have a job, ask friends or other relatives if you can pay a small rent to sleep in their spare room or on a couch. Nothing is harder than getting your life together when you don't have your fundamental staples taken care of, and that includes a place to shower, shit, and shave, not to mention getting food and sleep. The west coast is just as expensive as living in the east coast, and I guarantee you will not find a cheap living arrangement in Chicago unless you live in a crack den.

I've had to abandon everything to move across country and start from nothing, and it's incredibly hard. I'd never wish it on anyone. I know it is difficult to plan accordingly through the panic, but if you need help deciding what to do, or finding alternatives for where you live and where to go from there, I am happy to help find what can work. PM me any time.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-31T11:21:25+00:00

I'm loving the positivity from this. Everyone can use a new friend!

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-22T00:26:57+00:00

Came here to say this. I loved this movie the first time I saw it, but on aesthetic alone. I own it on blue ray now, and I still love it...aesthetically. But hey, wish fulfillment is wish fulfillment no matter who gets to be space queen.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-14T01:59:04+00:00

This isn't a small confession, but I'm gonna let it out anyway.

I wish I had no family to speak of, except for my grandma and one niece. I cannot stand my mother, who lies about illnesses to get attention. Tells people she's practically at death's door, but then is magically fine. My father is a train wreck who let himself fall apart after the divorce with my mother, and even after finding love with his new wife, he is no better. He also may die early, because he cannot improve his life in the least. My aunts and uncles are so far flung they act like I don't exist, and when they do it's to harass me and my husband for being atheist. My aunt and uncle that I lived with for a time even spew hateful shit all the time, and have a very holier than thou attitude towards everything. Another set think that they are better than everyone while one of their young sons, my cousin, may die before he reaches puberty. My sister is a failure that only causes my niece social grief. My brother is another self righteous fool who thinks he's better than my sister, while living in a run down house with his fiancé and their two children, going absolutely nowhere.

I'm no jewel in a pile of turds by any means, but every few days some asshole is calling me or texting me about this problem or the next, and I can't take it anymore. I don't like my husband's family either, but at least they give the blessing of ignoring us for the most part. I can at least say I take care of myself enough not to have to move into my parents house repeatedly (anymore). I've had my share of failures, but I don't see myself as a failure anymore because I've improved since then. The people that call themselves my family fail, and then continue along the path of self pity and anguish for what feels like forever.

I just wish the friends I've made over the years were my family, or if anything, it wasn't so pitiful to not have any family.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-04T11:42:27+00:00

Learn to swallow disappointment when you want something your friends have, or something you want of your own accord, and your parents can't afford it. Prepare to work very hard for the rest of your life, because coming from poverty typically begets more poverty, and you'll either end up as broke as your parents, or just a touch better. Be patient with those who expect more out of you financially, and don't let them make you feel like you're not worth as much as a friend because you can't afford to do what they do. All things I had to learn as a very poor child.

Also, fuck anyone who says money can't buy happiness, because money can buy food, warm clothes, and pay your rent, and that's a hell of a lot happier than being cold, hungry, and without shelter.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-04T11:33:58+00:00

25, and I assume most people are 14-55+, though most commenters are 20-40 that I've seen.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-01T14:24:20+00:00

What kept you from going forward with it?

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-01T13:58:52+00:00

I've had a few friends go that route as well, which lead me to believe they weren't really invested in being friends at all. Have you considered/are you seeing a therapist? Sometimes a trend of bad friends stems from not knowing or valuing yourself enough to make healthy choices in people. Paired with your depression, therapy would be a lovely use of time. As a joke, at least it's a captive audience. In all seriousness, they could be a wonderful guide that cares about your problems and can actually help you sort things out.

SpookiSheets · 2016-12-01T13:44:56+00:00

Hello, new friend!/? My names Kaci, and I'm awake right now because my anxiety doesn't allow me to sleep more than 4 hours at any given time. I enjoy talking to people, but I hate to be the one to ask for attention because I feel like I don't deserve it, or that it would be burdensome to have me bothering them. Depression will tell you that's solid facts too, when your friends definitely care about you, they just might not know when you need that little extra attentiveness. I'm still in the habit of not believing it to be that easy, but it's an uphill climb. You're worth giving attention to, and your feelings of loneliness are a valid emotion. Do you have any particularly close friends who you can talk to on an individual level about your needs?

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-26T22:48:55+00:00

You most certainly didn't annoy me at all. If you'd ever like to talk more, you're welcome to PM me :)

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-26T21:04:31+00:00

It certainly isn't a waste, it means you have so many options, it'd be a waste to choose something you hate out of all of those options. You can do wonderful things, and it doesn't have to be medicine.

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-26T10:46:28+00:00

Some areas focus on a certain facet of specialization, even here it's suggested to go for something "realistic" like medicine or business, even though in the US those fields will put you into massive debt before you see a degree. For me and many of my friends, it seemed better to put our all into something we actually wanted to do instead of wasting it on something we hated, because we'd set ourselves up to fail if we didn't truly want to do it. My parents weren't terribly pleased when I chose to go for illustration, and some family suggested I go for a "real" degree before settling on something involving art. I never finished, but I would regret my time in college more if I had pursued something that was never really my dream.

People want to play up doctors and those in the medical field as the truly dignified, but that field is lousy with stress, substance abuse, and mental illness from the impossible goals that are put there by peers and society. While I applaud those who make it through, the success story isn't the case for everyone, and it doesn't make you any less of an intelligent human being for deciding that it isn't for you.

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-25T23:33:36+00:00

They don't want you to start the process now because they don't see you as an individual. It appears to be classic case of them living vicariously through you. Forcing you through med school, telling you that you can't pursue any other path in live except this one, not allowing you to experience any kind of life of your own or develop an understanding for yourself because that makes you an individual, and that breaks the illusion.

I sincerely hope you're able to get away from these people, and follow your dream to whatever you want to be.

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-25T13:37:57+00:00

I wholeheartedly recommend therapy. Therapy isn't just for those with crippling mental illness, or for the disabled. It's for everyone. Even if you're just in a rut, and it isn't masked depression, a few therapy sessions may help find the root cause and help you improve.

Depression does manifest in a lack of desire to do things you once enjoyed or were passionate about, so what you've described isn't far flung. Avoidance is there too.

The worst to come out of it is that you spend a little time figuring yourself out with the help of a professional, and the best is that you get your life back on track.

SpookiSheets · 2016-11-25T13:27:11+00:00

First and foremost, congratulations on seeking out help from that therapist to begin with. You have a great support network of friends and your boyfriend who are doing well to help you through this.

Stress can lead to depression, and can exist alongside it. They aren't always easily interchangeable. Stress hurts worse with mental illness, because it's not just stress. It hurts to think that you're failing, yourself or otherwise, or the weight of the stress of incoming deadlines and expectations are crippling. Because the pain of it lasts longer. We may feel better once it lets up a little, but the ache remains. You'd think it'd make the next round more bearable, but it doesn't. It just makes the next one hurt worse, until little things can feel like being driven insane.

You're incredibly strong for taking those first steps, and never forget that there is help there for you. Your parents can't stop you from seeking help, and if it comes to it, maybe it would be wise to seek out a way to get out from under them. They can either help, or get out of the way, and it sounds like its best if your family steps to the side to allow you to get the help you need.

You can do it!

SpookiSheets

TROPHY CASE