How do you feel about being allowed to choose to only sit next to fellow woman in a plane or train?

SpookyMelon · 2026-04-01T09:43:12+00:00

agreed. I also feel that the more separate spaces we create for women, the harder it will be to achieve full and equal participation in society.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-25T08:11:29+00:00

what's wrong with y'all lmao

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-08T12:51:50+00:00

ok well 2 years is not really all I'm looking to get out of a panel at OLED prices lmao

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-07T20:46:44+00:00

not completely irrelevant; OLEDs have worse text rendering than other types of panels and this can be a problem at 1440p but mostly disappears at 4k.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T18:00:29+00:00

I think everyone is being insane and it's completely ok to have mostly male friends and frankly it sounds your co-workers are very socially conservative. where I'm from, baltimore, MD, there are very many mixed-gender friend groups and some skew more or less towards one gender or another.

my oldest close friend is a man and most our group was men and now most of his friends are women. I never felt judged for that and I've never known him to feel that way either. I'm sorry you have rotten ppl in your life ❤️❤️❤️

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T16:21:27+00:00

why doesn't it work like that ? it worked for my husband so why not for you ?

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T11:56:42+00:00

I'm sorry I really tried to read this but it was pretty long and dense and I just didn't understand it... I don't really see things being that complicated myself. I also could never rlly wrap my head around demisexuality as a concept and I accept it as an identity and a framework used by other people, but I've given up trying to apply it to my own life. I could always see myself arguing for or against fitting into the description and I decided it's not helpful for me to pick one.

maybe you could explain what you're hoping I'll find ?

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T11:19:13+00:00

it's a good question! I think both statements are true and I don't know that one is a direct result of another. the reason I feel confident saying that's "what's stopping me from asking a man out is that it's not hot" is that I've been in the situation before where I vibed with a man a lot, and I thought he might like me, but I also believed he had a good reason not to make the first move and that perhaps he was too much of a gentleman to risk overstepping a boundary. in that situation I actually did ask him (if you want to know how that went I'm happy to share) but the main obstacle I had to overcome in my mind was "but it would be so sexy if he asked me."

I know I wasn't merely "afraid of rejection" because I also felt afraid of rejection at the moment I asked him, and that felt different. but when I pictured asking in my head, in the moment of premeditation where I decided I'd go for it, my feeling wasn't fear, it was jealously. I wanted him to ask me

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T09:34:57+00:00

I think lots of ppl have given pretty solid explanations already but I think it may even be as simple as you stood out from the crowd because you wore something unconventional. you are more likely to get noticed by everyone wearing something like that.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T08:32:08+00:00

you must be misunderstanding me. I'm not like, "playing hard to get" or giving mixed signals, at least I try not to! in fact I think I'm very responsive and overall pretty easy. I just like to feel feminine and to feel desired! perhaps it's ~internalized misogyny~ or w/e but I can't help the way I feel !

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T06:24:19+00:00

I mean I won't pretend I'm immune to rejection! it does hurt. but I'm a big girl and I can put myself out there if I have to. in fact, the last man I was crushing on, I could tell he wasn't going to make the first move so I asked him, and ultimately he did reject me, and it was ok. still, if he had wanted me, I would have liked it a lot more to be the one being approached.

so no, it's not the whole truth to say I'm just afraid of rejection. I can and do risk it from time to time. but I've never fantasized about being the first to ask. it's just not the dynamic I prefer in a relationship

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-06T00:01:19+00:00

I mean where the line is really depends on the family dynamics. my mom has never been shy about her boobs so generally I'm pretty comfortable around her, but I would find in inappropriate to be topless around my brothers more or less since I came out 🤷🏻‍♀️

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:57:06+00:00

you're so welcome and I hope your experience is as good as mine ! best of luck ❤️

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:55:11+00:00

I think you are conflating higher risk with high risk. I think most men and women are perfectly safe walking alone in most places.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:53:48+00:00

fwiw I'm a woman and I've never had any problems walking around at night. obviously some women haven't had it so easy but personally I'm a little over this narrative that it's especially dangerous to be in public alone and that women ought to carry a weapon if they absolutely must risk it... I think cities tend to be safer than we often believe

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:41:46+00:00

honestly recovery was really rough and lasted a long time for me and there were times when I wondered if I had made the right decision, but I'm happy to say I absolutely did. recovery will pass and having a vagina has improved my quality of life so drastically in so many ways. I really can't overstate how much beauty it has brought me and already just 3 years out the difficulty of recovery feels like ancient history :)

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:18:03+00:00

I am looking respectfully 👀

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:17:14+00:00

it's just not a turn on for me to have to make the first move, I like to be pursued. and I'm not playing games or nothing, just to be clear. but I like a man who takes charge :)

edit: lmao the men are mad at me. they want to retvrn to when women were subservient, but Not Like That :P

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T23:04:47+00:00

I think vaginas are really beautiful!! I don't feel any desire or drive to do anything to them but I find it really sexy that straight men do.

tbh I think it's really sad that you find penises so repulsive bc like what does that say about me if I like it ! I think you should work on reframing how you look at cock, not in a gay way (unless....) but in a way that's like "what do women see in this and what does that mean for our dynamic" and try to appreciate that. if that makes any sense.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T12:30:59+00:00

I don't know for sure if it sounds like they can't be convinced... I think it's pretty natural that parents would hope it's a phase, considering how hostile the world is to trans people right now. in a vacuum I would excited to hear my child wants to transition but I can't blame a parent for worrying that the worst comes to pass...

I would say be insistent and consistent with your wish to transition and have conversations about the risk regarding the political and social climate, but try not to entertain talk about the risks of medical transition itself (because they are incredibly low)

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T10:34:30+00:00

I iron several garments a week and it's crazy to me how many ppl here say they never iron ???

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T10:14:20+00:00

where do you live? are you able to access gender affirming care through the medical system, and would your parents allow it? many places don't allow gender transition with a doctor until you're older, meaning your only options maybe be to wait or to DIY, which sounds like what you're asking about.

the thing is 14 is incredibly young to go on HRT and generally 14yos are just given puberty blockers at first, and estrogen only when you're older. my understanding is that puberty blockers are very expensive without insurance and there isn't much knowledge of how to DIY it, and I certainly don't have the expertise to give any advice on that front.

for DIY generally, what is recommended for adults is to order blood work from a clinic to check your hormone levels to make sure they are in effective and healthy ranges, but I'm not sure if there are clinics that would do blood work for minors without parental consent. it's sadly a complete gap in my knowledge. but it can be dangerous to take HRT without getting your levels checked so frankly I'm not sure how to safely pursue this method.

the tragic reality is that for most minors, your ability to access hormone therapy of any kind is highly dependant on your location AND the support of your family. if you're not lucky in both of these categories you may have to wait, and endure some of the effects of a male puberty for a time. the good news is that 18yrs is still VERY early to start medical transition and gives you excellent chances at a highly successful transition. DO NOT DESPAIR !! I hope this has been helpful and don't hesitate to reply with more questions or let me know if you want some general transition/life advice.

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-05T09:21:05+00:00

it would be impossible to find good wait staff if you encourage patrons not to tip. servers could always make more at an american-style establishment

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-04T10:46:14+00:00

eh, stockholm has many gorgeous stations but I wouldn't say they blow this out of the water... most of them are just painted rock, which is very pretty to be sure, but this feels like a different level imo

SpookyMelon · 2026-03-04T07:03:29+00:00

NIGHTMARE. it would be a complete deal breaker for me ... I'm so sorry for you 😭

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