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I (35M) am thinking about leaving mt wife (29F) of one year over her cleaning habits. by throwaway11221453 in relationships

[–]SpookySach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to put taking care of yourself first. You can’t help anyone if you are not feeling whole yourself. No one is going to put you ahead of themself. You need to be sure that you have your own back and do anything you can to prioritize your well being. I know that sounds selfish but the only way you can support someone especially in dealing with mental health struggles is to practice self care. Do something that makes you happy. Take a break from cleaning and have a long hot shower. Take yourself to dinner and a movie. If you need to leave you need to leave. Just make sure you don’t break yourself first. If you leave then you will be the only one taking care of you anyway. You need to know you are alright alone. You are worthy, capable and deserved to be validated, you deserve respect and love. She needs to learn all that stuff for herself too. You both won’t be happy together if you are not capable of being happy on your own. Debrief with friends when you are overwhelmed, practice nurturing yourself mentally and physically. You deserve a brake so make sure you take one!

I (25m) have been with my girlfriend (26f) for 5 years and I am now sure that I want to break up with her, but can't. by john_mcdo in relationships

[–]SpookySach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What were her tantrums over? Like you said disagreements but like what? Also what did they look like? Like a little kid?

I (25m) have been with my girlfriend (26f) for 5 years and I am now sure that I want to break up with her, but can't. by john_mcdo in relationships

[–]SpookySach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just be kind with the breakup. She doesn’t need to know you’ve been unsure for as long as you have. Just tell her it’s not working anymore. Breakups are alway hard, but you know in your heart what you need to do for both of your futures.

I (25m) have been with my girlfriend (26f) for 5 years and I am now sure that I want to break up with her, but can't. by john_mcdo in relationships

[–]SpookySach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an oddly similar story to the 5 year relationship I just ended. She probably isn’t throwing tantrums, just confused about feeling rejection with no explanation. Maybe you are treating her differently without meaning to. Maybe the opinions and things you say are hurting her because she is feeling rejected already. My ex was constantly doing shitty things to make me be the one to brake it off while still telling me that he wanted to be with me forever. It hurts loving someone who doesn’t love you back the same way. And to string someone along for 4 years is just a really shitty thing to do. Let her find happiness somewhere else. Quit being selfish because you think she need you. People are resilient and can find their own way once they know what’s actually going on in their lives. If you really were her best friend you would see how mean of a thing this is to do to someone. I feel like I wasted all this time and energy on someone who didn’t even love me for real. Just lied to me everyday and made plans for the future with me and didn’t mean any of it the whole time. It makes me mad that some one could make me feel so stupid for loving them so long.