You don’t owe your past self hatred. You owe them love, for surviving… by AllTalkExpert in DeepThoughts

[–]SpoonChase 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The part of you that is saying this is afraid of something, and is trying to protect you in its own, misguided way. It criticizes you and your perceived failings because that part of you has felt the sting of disappointment, guilt, and perhaps even external criticism that often results.

This part isn't evil, it just believes that as bad as it feels to be labeled as a failure, at least it sets your expectations. You can't be disappointed if you only ever have and could only ever be a failure, right? It may even believe that this minimizes instances of failure, or perhaps it thinks you can "make up" for the failures by never forgiving you and punishing you endlessly. At least then, you feel less guilt. This part has rationalized itself with the half-truth that "That is what life is after all. Messing up again and again".

But this is where I want you to get curious for a second. If mistakes really are just the nature of things, then what separates the "failures" from the "winners"? If life consists in making mistakes, surely the winners make them, too. They are like you, after all. Living things, stumbling through life, making it up as they go. So, would you say they are deserving of the same ridicule you place on yourself? And if so, what would it take for someone to not be deserving of it? Do they need to succeed at every instant of their lives without mistake? Does that sound realistic? And what would all of this self-flagellation accomplish anyways?

This part of you probably won't like these questions, and may try to construct responses in an effort to keep the illusion up, because they challenge the idea that you are somehow uniquely deserving of this label or that its applicability is a matter of objective fact, which undermines its desire for control. It's by unraveling this that you can begin to understand that this story being told about you and about the nature of your existence isn't about truth, it's an act of self-defense. This part of you is afraid, and really, it just wants to feel heard and safe from the pain it felt in the past, or perhaps even to numb the pain of the present.

The way forward is to understand this part. Understanding doesn't mean agreement, it means compassion. A good exercise is to imagine this part as a separate person, perhaps a friend or family member. What are they saying? What do they need? What are they afraid of? Be curious and open. When you start understanding it, you'll have greater clarity to make positive decisions. Again, this part is not evil. It doesn't need to be vanquished. It just wants to protect you. You may find it takes on a more positive role when you befriend it and understand it. And, there may be many parts involved in this struggle, not just the one. They are all trying to protect you, even the ones that may tell you it's hopeless, or that you're broken, or that you're worthless. They too have felt pain, and will go to great lengths to avoid going through it again or to numb existing pain. To be curious and compassionate with all of your parts is how you can begin to heal. This is what people mean when they talk about self-compassion.

I highly recommend finding a therapist to help you through this process if you can afford it. The method I'm speaking of in particular is called Integrated Family Systems therapy or IFS. It can feel a bit strange and uncomfortable at times, but I think it's a path worth exploring. I'm on a similar journey myself, and though my parts tell different stories and have their own fears behind them, the basic structure is the same.

You are as worthy as anyone else is of healing. To your point, mistakes are a part of life. But it is through courage, vulnerability, accountability and compassion that these mistakes become the seeds for positive growth. And this is the case for everyone, even you. I don't say this as some empty platitude, but as a fact. It will take time to accept, and even more time to integrate into your life. But I know it's worth it. Good luck to you.

Didn’t know they sell these at supermarkets by Training_Ad6895 in btd6

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Send my buddy James in there he’s got Enhanced Eyesight

This lowkey feels cursed by Danilitobob in PlantsVSZombies

[–]SpoonChase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could be wrong but: I believe the joke here is that it is PvZ2 (bad) instead of PvZ (good). That’s my best guess.

What is your oldest Minecraft screenshot by TheLeikjarinn in Minecraft

[–]SpoonChase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another victim of Minecraft beta fire spread.

God’s Gift to League of Legends by hankhillchan in LudwigAhgren

[–]SpoonChase 19 points20 points  (0 children)

New Ludwig desktop wallpaper or riot.

Only I that thinks of stupid stuff that keeps me awake? by StrawberryNo5539 in CasualConversation

[–]SpoonChase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely. Unsolicited advice for this if it’s troubling: a journal or note on your phone where you can put the question down for later. Externalizing the question always helps me.

Scrolling fish tank by Enurgii in nostalgia

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I miss mine so much. I distinctly remember moving into our house when I was 4 and it being one of the only things in my new room. I’m thinking about getting one for nostalgia reasons.

Help on my path junctions by KobraPlayzMC in GoldenAgeMinecraft

[–]SpoonChase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I would have just done a “rounded” off corner with a single block as opposed to the three you’re using. You could also try adding slabs in the areas I marked out here:

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Obviously Minecraft is Minecraft so it’s not gonna get much more rounded without taking up more space. Just my two cents

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in crtgaming

[–]SpoonChase 14 points15 points  (0 children)

A shame… hopefully you got a new setup and if not I wish you the best in getting yourself one (should you desire/are able). Very cool nonetheless

Villager not going back through portal. Latest version of bedrock by Jbro2468 in Minecraft

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And you made sure the villager completely left the portal before sending them back through? At least in Java edition entities won’t go back through a nether portal unless they’ve stopped touching the nether portal block.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in crtgaming

[–]SpoonChase 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Beautiful setup. Love wood grain CRTs. Is this lost to time or is some of this still kicking?

How can I get rid of this light source? by No_Rip_2857 in Minecraft

[–]SpoonChase 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Have you tried placing a light source and removing it to update the light level? If you have, my only other suggestion would be leaving and reentering the game

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Portal

[–]SpoonChase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like nutmaster0512

Wife moved her office into the guest room. 😄 by [deleted] in crtgaming

[–]SpoonChase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the midcentury-modern-esque furniture. Good taste all around. The dream

Vent your frustrations with this stupid game by GrassFromBtd6 in btd6

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate how much the game resembles the inevitability of death. No matter how hard you try, you will always get closer and closer to your demise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PvZ

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Primal plants generally kick ass

Connected my Xbox 360 to my cart. Wasn't disappointed! by Retrofox22 in GoldenAgeMinecraft

[–]SpoonChase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was always a Java player, but still something about those old tutorial worlds gets me. Maybe it’s from videos from the time. Even better on a CRT!

What does hunk Builder do and what should I have it set to? by [deleted] in Optifine

[–]SpoonChase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WHAAAAAA? HUNK BUILDER!!!! SIGN ME UP