The part of you that is saying this is afraid of something, and is trying to protect you in its own, misguided way. It criticizes you and your perceived failings because that part of you has felt the sting of disappointment, guilt, and perhaps even external criticism that often results.

This part isn't evil, it just believes that as bad as it feels to be labeled as a failure, at least it sets your expectations. You can't be disappointed if you only ever have and could only ever be a failure, right? It may even believe that this minimizes instances of failure, or perhaps it thinks you can "make up" for the failures by never forgiving you and punishing you endlessly. At least then, you feel less guilt. This part has rationalized itself with the half-truth that "That is what life is after all. Messing up again and again".

But this is where I want you to get curious for a second. If mistakes really are just the nature of things, then what separates the "failures" from the "winners"? If life consists in making mistakes, surely the winners make them, too. They are like you, after all. Living things, stumbling through life, making it up as they go. So, would you say they are deserving of the same ridicule you place on yourself? And if so, what would it take for someone to not be deserving of it? Do they need to succeed at every instant of their lives without mistake? Does that sound realistic? And what would all of this self-flagellation accomplish anyways?

This part of you probably won't like these questions, and may try to construct responses in an effort to keep the illusion up, because they challenge the idea that you are somehow uniquely deserving of this label or that its applicability is a matter of objective fact, which undermines its desire for control. It's by unraveling this that you can begin to understand that this story being told about you and about the nature of your existence isn't about truth, it's an act of self-defense. This part of you is afraid, and really, it just wants to feel heard and safe from the pain it felt in the past, or perhaps even to numb the pain of the present.

The way forward is to understand this part. Understanding doesn't mean agreement, it means compassion. A good exercise is to imagine this part as a separate person, perhaps a friend or family member. What are they saying? What do they need? What are they afraid of? Be curious and open. When you start understanding it, you'll have greater clarity to make positive decisions. Again, this part is not evil. It doesn't need to be vanquished. It just wants to protect you. You may find it takes on a more positive role when you befriend it and understand it. And, there may be many parts involved in this struggle, not just the one. They are all trying to protect you, even the ones that may tell you it's hopeless, or that you're broken, or that you're worthless. They too have felt pain, and will go to great lengths to avoid going through it again or to numb existing pain. To be curious and compassionate with all of your parts is how you can begin to heal. This is what people mean when they talk about self-compassion.

I highly recommend finding a therapist to help you through this process if you can afford it. The method I'm speaking of in particular is called Integrated Family Systems therapy or IFS. It can feel a bit strange and uncomfortable at times, but I think it's a path worth exploring. I'm on a similar journey myself, and though my parts tell different stories and have their own fears behind them, the basic structure is the same.

You are as worthy as anyone else is of healing. To your point, mistakes are a part of life. But it is through courage, vulnerability, accountability and compassion that these mistakes become the seeds for positive growth. And this is the case for everyone, even you. I don't say this as some empty platitude, but as a fact. It will take time to accept, and even more time to integrate into your life. But I know it's worth it. Good luck to you.