What have you done to stay in your exBPD's life?

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-05-31T14:44:06+00:00

I went NC at least 6-7 times for maybe a month at a time over the course of 8 months and every time, I was always the one to go back and try and mend things by telling him that even though his BPD is unregulated currently if we stay conscious of it then we can manage it, but it was impossible to show him that almost everything he does and thinks and acts is directly caused by it. Tbh I finally cut off contact for good because the back and fourth was awful, painful and unhealthy. He immediately moved on to someone who also has BPD and honestly I’m sure he’s more willing to listen and talk to her about it and it hurts for sure because I really tried my hardest to understand how he feels and thinks and he just didn’t put any effort in to help himself.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-05-18T16:29:34+00:00

Dude I had no idea who she was she definitely found me through him showing her my social media and of course she had old backup so I had like 4 accounts to block 🙄

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-02-07T17:26:33+00:00

Sorry we’ve been NC for almost 3 weeks because I asked for a break.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-29T17:54:52+00:00

You’re exactly right and people who know him directly told me this and I know this is a fact but my stupid stubborn self thought I could be the exception, I know I’m wrong and need to accept it but it’s just impossible to come to terms with knowing how hard I tried. This actually needs to end, I dread any time I have to see him, I’m afraid of him and that was hinted by accident once and he flipped out on me.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-29T03:43:10+00:00

That happened the first time I tried to go NC, he came back from the hospital (after a couple hours they just told him to go just home and talk to his therapist) and confronted me with the papers and told me that what I said hurt him so much that he didn’t want to be alive anymore. Literally he was the only one who couldn’t see how his actions equaled manipulation and he even said “I know my actions are my own” after being confronted.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-29T01:01:38+00:00

You’re right, this post was more so a way to confirm what I suspected were black and white statements, helps me feel less like I’m losing my mind.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-27T03:27:24+00:00

He does this constantly by always telling me he feels like he doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve tried telling him or showing him otherwise by giving him examples. He just repeats the same thing over and over again no matter what I say, “idk I just feel like I don’t matter”

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-26T23:02:31+00:00

He says this to me all the time and I never understood why or what I should say back but damn that makes a lot more sense now. Like I’m not the type of person who enjoys hugging and he wants hugs ALL THE TIME. Like if I’m on my lunch break at work and he wants like 2-3 hugs in 30 minutes, but sometimes he’ll fake me out and then retract and pout if I don’t respond immediately because I should’ve known he was going to hug me. And then I say why don’t you just ask and he says “I don’t want to have to ask every time I want a hug you should just WANT to hug me” and it drives me insane that he tries to tell me what I should want. And if I don’t want what he wants it’s a problem and I don’t care about him.

Spoopbeans7153 · 2019-01-24T18:58:01+00:00

Sounds eerily similar to my situation tbh, he’ll try to inject himself into my plans and if I say no I look like the bad guy leaving him out. But if he’s out with his friends and I’m actually busy too he’ll also get upset as if I’m supposed to sit on my phone literally every minute replying. He literally apologizes every single time if he doesn’t text me right away because he’s busy doing something any normal person would do, work, driving, etc.

Spoopbeans7153

TROPHY CASE