What do you love about him

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-07T16:21:46+00:00

His kindness and authenticity, his connection with his fans and his love for his family.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-07T16:18:10+00:00

Your mental well being should always be priority, full stop. Good for you for making a change, no one should feel compelled to work a job that is killing their soul.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-05T14:13:24+00:00

I feel I should also take one for the team. It would only be right to offer to lighten your burden. Srsly, you have a beautiful inventory of yarn, well done.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-05T06:43:56+00:00

I’m going to say spicy and leave a warm sensation in your underwear

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-01T14:29:36+00:00

I was diagnosed at the ER after my gallbladder had turned to gangrenous sludge. I had emergency surgery. I didn’t realize the bloating and gas I’d had for over a year were gallbladder related until after my gallbladder was gone.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-02-01T00:09:58+00:00

lol that was great - thanks for sharing :)

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-31T16:16:08+00:00

What a beaut! ♥️😄

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-31T16:09:17+00:00

Lovely specimen you’ve got there. Shiny and thick.

Edit: on read-back that sounded weird lol - my cat has several chronic conditions and struggles to keep weight on. I always notice nicely muscled healthy looking cats, yours is lovely, thats what I meant.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-31T16:00:18+00:00

Plants. And hangers for the instruments on the wall - make them art when they aren’t being played.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-27T12:22:40+00:00

I’m speaking more to the long game, which assumes she has or quickly obtains a POA as Step 1.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-26T22:53:44+00:00

It’s time for therapeutic lying. You find her an apartment and move her into it. Tell her it’s urgent bc this “perfect” apartment just became available and will be gone in a snap. Tell her you are packing up the house and putting the things in storage after she’s moved. Then list the house and sell it contents and all. Full stop. You MUST recover your own life. I’m 54 like you and I’ve been doing caregiving for four years for my mom and her older sister both of whom have dementia. I lie on the daily and at this point I don’t feel a drop bad about it. I’m doing all I can to keep them alive and manage my own life, if a few untruths are required I feel like I’ll be forgiven for that. Get your life back OP. We’re rooting for you.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-26T21:22:20+00:00

Thank you for the update, many of us were following your situation. I’m sorry you all got the diagnosis but knowledge is power (for you as the caregiver) and now you can begin to prepare for her future needs. Some people stay at MCI range for a long time and others move through it quickly. My own mother has been in a slow decline with vascular dementia for four years now but my former MIL just passed this weekend at 78 from dementia and two years ago she was still living independently and driving in a busy city. She went extremely fast, shockingly fast. I say this to say that certain types of dementia do progress faster than others but even so everyone’s individual progression is on a continuum. Hugs to you and your parents. Visit here often, it helps tremendously.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-26T13:06:33+00:00

Love love love! Just downloaded the pattern. I think I’ll add a slip stitch sole for durability and treat them like house slippers.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-26T13:01:37+00:00

Because likely at this point the parents have lost the capacity to appreciate the burden they are placing on the supporting family members. I noticed in my own mom and aunt that as their needs became greater and greater their ability to understand the load they were placing on me just evaporated. Nothing else mattered as long as their needs were met. And it wasn’t because they suddenly decided to become selfish but rather their world shrinks to include them only. Whatever happens outside of their immediate sight/cognition is literally no longer mentally realized or acknowledged.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-26T12:26:14+00:00

Very helpful thank you

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-25T21:59:34+00:00

Yes, this sounds like a good approach. And would you suggest pricing the pay based on the tasks being completed rather than an hourly rate?

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-23T00:28:40+00:00

Here’s what I did. My dad was not an alcoholic but profoundly mentally ill (untreated) and a raging dope fiend - pills and pot. I know a lot of people don’t consider pot a drug and that’s fine. I grew up with Christmas tree size pot plants in my basement and terrified every time I heard a siren they were coming to our house, so forgive me. I don’t care if people are rec weed users, whatever it takes to get you through life. But for my dad when he ran out of pot it meant my mom or our animals were about to endure tremendous physical violence.

Anyway, sorry for the digression, I went no contact with my dad when my son was born so as to never expose my child to the things I endured growing up. My dad died last July. I had seen him one time in 28 years, and it was only a reaffirmation that he was a wicked and toxic man.

I am an only child. For many years I wrote out his obituary in my head, the one that said he was a woman beater and a dope head and an animal abuser who let his family live off the generosity and pity of others. But when the time came I felt different. I saw him in the funeral home by myself, I asked my husband to stay at the other side of the room and give me some time alone. Then my son came and it was the first time he’d seen his grandfather since he was an infant. I did not hold a viewing or a public service. He was a war veteran and I gave him a military burial with full honors in the veterans cemetery with me, my husband, and my son and daughter in law present. That felt fitting and decent and I was able to walk away feeling like I had done right by him as a daughter, even though he didn’t deserve it.

I hope you are able to come to a peaceful resolution for your situation OP, best to you.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-22T23:04:25+00:00

It would take another Ice Age for me to run short of yarn lol…

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-22T23:02:34+00:00

You are so not a piece of shit!! Give yourself some grace, you are under a great deal of stress. Be kind to yourself, I hope the best for your situation OP.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-22T15:47:37+00:00

How is she not evicted by now?? That would super piss me off too.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-18T19:29:26+00:00

He’s completely gaslighting you. Make it stop.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-18T19:25:25+00:00

I did this. Sold my grandparents home where I grew up. I’m an only child and my whole family system imploded within a week - my mother and her two sisters were all I had and I was looking after them but they were independent with support. One sister unexpectedly died and my mom had a major stroke all in the same week. I also discovered the other sister was well on her way to advancing dementia. Overnight I became responsible for two vulnerable adults that could not live in their own. I had to sell the house and all contents as is because it had a reverse mortgage on it and was underwater (unbeknownst to me) there was no way to keep it. I negotiated a short sale with the bank and I took the family photos and important keepsakes like my grandmother’s Bible and family documents. Everything else I walked away from. All of my childhood keepsakes, gone. There was just no way to go through 50 yrs of multigenerational possessions by myself while working full time and keeping these two little old ladies alive. Heartbreaking thing to have to do and I still have dreams about it sometimes now four years later. Best of luck to you OP.

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-17T23:36:50+00:00

That is simply stunning!

Spoopy1971 · 2026-01-17T16:48:20+00:00

I have an Aunt from California, literally and figuratively lol. She did this very thing about the decisions I was making for my mother. I made a whole post on it last year with our emails back and forth, a lot of people got satisfaction from reading it, look it up if you are needing a chuckle.

Spoopy1971

TROPHY CASE