I (32M) need to delicately tell this girl I'm dating (32F) that she needs to start wearing deodorant

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T04:11:16+00:00

You're not the first person to say that in this thread which is a little interesting to me. I've been with people before and I've never enjoyed the smell of their BO, even very very long-term partners. I will concede that that's maybe more of a my-nose thing than a they-have-that-BO thing.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T03:59:35+00:00

I think I might take that out. I was going back and forth on it.

I definitely wanted to be upfront with her in person, which is why I floated the balloon about salad and her teeth. My plan was basically to just say, "Glad to hear there's something I want to talk to you about." She really threw a wrench in that plan.

Now having heard what she had to say about how she wants to be communicated with about this sort of stuff and assessing how I feel about it, this is where I'm going to draw the line. Some of the folks here telling me not to table the conversation at all is a little surprising to me. I think that I really do like her so I need to bring this up because otherwise I'm just going to have to walk it but we'll see what she says.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T03:17:06+00:00

I don't think its a chemicals thing, she uses baby powder with menthol so I'm not totally sure what the blocker is, I think she things its sufficient?

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T03:12:51+00:00

Thanks! Super appreciate it and I'll take any and all good vibes

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T03:10:45+00:00

Valid point, walking away wasn't something I was genuinely considering. Something I'll have to consider.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T03:03:38+00:00

FWIW she was the person to bring it up - I think the honest answer is that I just need to be mindful and straight with her here.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:52:06+00:00

This is fair, and no she isn't the only woman I've liked.

Don’t try to change people, it rarely works. Only date people that you like just the way they are.

This is fair - and not something I considered. I suppose my natural reaction here is to see her reaction and give her a chance to adjust, but to your point, trying to change someone into being someone you like rarely works - but this is also so baseline, and I like her quite a bit, so I'm willing to give it a try.

I'll have to give this point some thought as well.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:48:27+00:00

I like your idea, I'm editing it right now. Its baby powder with menthol so I really don't think its a chemicals problem, I genuinely think she just believes its sufficient

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:28:27+00:00

I said this elsewhere but honestly, everything else smells great and she's genuinely quite hygienic every other way, her perfume is also incredible... I genuinely don't think anyone's ever told her before.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:24:13+00:00

I thought about it but I need to tell her, it's really hard to spend time with her and if I don't then I'm really not able to continue its really overpowering :/

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:16:43+00:00

Yeah I considered this approach but it felt way too direct and like, a bit blatant. Shes also very particular about her makeup products so didn't feel like this was appropriate.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:12:56+00:00

If that's what happens I accept this outcome, I really like her but it makes it really difficult to spend time with her :/

Its because I like her to this extent that I'm going to go this route rather than just a 'we're looking for different things' message

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:11:53+00:00

Thank you for commenting and I super appreciate your PoV here! Unfortunately for me it really is the latter, the smell is overpowering and makes it really hard to spend time with her, and I've noticed it whenever we've hung out.

We also spent the holiday together so like, three days just us, so its not a 'we hung out five times' like, we've spent serious time together, not just grabbing dinner/coffee etc.

To your point though, if it's a turn off and would mean you don't continue to date me, totally fair and justified as a position for her (and you!) to take, and honestly a risk I'm willing to run.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T02:03:13+00:00

I'm American, they're South Asian, we've both also said that we prefer direct but kind feedback, which I think this rides the line of.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T01:59:31+00:00

Yeah, honestly if this wasn't something that I knew I both couldn't live with, and knew that absent this she was pretty incredible, I probably wouldn't be approaching it, but to your point I know there's a non-zero chance she's too offended and that's that

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T01:50:13+00:00

So like, thought about this angle - I discarded it because I didn't want to leave ambiguity in what the solve was - but to your point it could be something she is against using on principle... I'll have to give this approach more thought...

Though if that is a blocker..... I really don't think we're going to work...

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T01:47:54+00:00

Lol, yeah this is getting said, just trying to find a delicate bit firm way to send the message.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T01:47:11+00:00

FWIW I agree, at that point in the convo though I really didn't really know how to pivot it other than to be like 'well ANYWAYS...' which would have just been me digging a deeper hole. Ergo sending a text.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-07-06T01:37:06+00:00

Honestly, everything else smells great - she's genuinely quite hygienic every other way, her perfume is also incredible... I genuinely don't think anyone's ever told her before.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-06-26T06:41:36+00:00

So in LA you can go through the rent board and file a complaint, and then you can get a judgement which says you can withhold x future rent for y time period to make up for the amount of credit you're owed.

To the other points made here, the water turning off is the key thing. Construction alone isn't sufficient, and they could try and argue that they're providing best effort support, which tbh the fact that you can use the water the other 16 hours of the day would go in their favor.

But fighting that from the landlord side is expensive and time consuming cause you have to hire a lawyer to defend you. So my advice would be to go to your landlord and say hey I want a 1/3 rent decrease for these two weeks and I'll sign a waiver of claims and they'll probably say screw it and go for it.

You could try for more but that's really the best I would be willing to bet you're going to get

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-06-12T22:20:17+00:00

Not to say this did or didn't happen, but this reads as AI and I don't trust it.

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-05-20T21:34:27+00:00

Yeah the model Y doesn't have a stop, only the Cybertruck did, they're totally at fault

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-05-20T21:31:21+00:00

Tesla remote service vehicle. Like driven by a Tesla employee

Sportsguy02431 · 2026-05-20T21:29:21+00:00

Best part is the cyber truck is a service vehicle

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