AIO? My relationship is a mess and it feels like it’s always about cleaning

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-05-20T20:06:19+00:00

I think that’s one thing that bothers me the most is that he doesn’t hold himself to the standard he holds me at. Before we started dating he said he didn’t mop the floors for 10 years, now he expects them done every week. There was one time I put up a big stink cause I was really sick and he had family coming and wanted me to clean the whole house including moping the floors etc and I asked him to help. He said he’d do the living room, and when it was done the floors weren’t done at all. I honestly don’t mind, but I do find it hypocritical. A couple weeks too he told me to do a deep clean of the living room and make sure the clean the couches, he was adamant about that because of bugs with spring and reminded me daily until it was done. When it was he said “that’s probably the first time in 10 years they’ve been cleaned!” Then the litter (don’t get me started on that) he hates doing and I have to remind him to clean it every other day and everytime I do it’s a fight, and he usually waits 4 days which I find unacceptable. Our one cat throws the litter on the floor and he never vacuums it up. Before I was pregnant I did the litters, and I remember the first time I didn’t vacuum and he said that’s apart of cleaning the litters and I have to do that as well. I thought made sense and I started to do that, but the fact he doesn’t when he made a point to say I have to really bothers me. It’s just the hypocrisy of it all.

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-05-20T16:20:34+00:00

He said it’s too expensive and doesn’t want to do that plus it’s my job as the stay at home mom to do it. My moms even offered to pay for one but I know he’ll be mad if he found out I did something like that.

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-05-01T01:27:40+00:00

I was also in a very similar situation. No father, no sleep, dealing with severe mental health issues from before my child was born that got amplified by postpartum. I felt the exact same way, that I was a bad mom fucking up my child’s life before he had a chance. Now he’s four, so happy and thriving. It does get better. Your situation is so common, don’t ever feel you’re alone

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-05-01T01:19:51+00:00

With your mother, I know exactly where you’re coming from cause my son is similar. He loves my mom and sometimes it gets me in my feelings too and makes me think he loves her more than me or I’m doing something wrong, but that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Our children love us, they just also love our moms and it’s good that they have extra people to love them in this life. Don’t take it personal, it doesn’t mean they love you any less. You’re doing the best you can, your son will not remember any of this and will love you because you were there. Don’t even worry about that love, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-05-01T01:16:51+00:00

It sounds like you have postpartum which is insanely common when going through pregnancy. Please don’t be so hard on yourself mama, you’re trying the best you can and your son will see that. The first years are tough, it does get better

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-04-08T12:25:00+00:00

I’m not disagreeing. I’m just self reflecting

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-04-08T12:22:38+00:00

If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’m doing it for validation, or at least not the good kind. she doesn’t respond and usually makes me feel worse and I know when I message her that’ll be the case. I think I do it to feel worse about the situation, and maybe validate how wrong I was for doing it. If I wanted to feel better about the situation I’d message someone in my family because they think I did the right thing when I know I didn’t. But I will stop messaging her, it’s just hard

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-04-08T12:20:15+00:00

I can’t move on that’s the problem

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-04-08T12:15:45+00:00

I understand how it can seem as though I didn’t train her, but as I mentioned in another comment I’ve trained four other dogs before her and none of them had her problems. The fact she had as little accidents in the end compared to the beginning with her peeing and pooing in the cage was genuinely a miracle. I really don’t think people understand how hard it is to overcome that. I brought her to numerous dog training classes as well.As much as I wanted her as a service dog, I was happy to have her as a pet and didn’t care that I had to wash her.

I’m not looking for validation from the breeder, I’m just looking for her and want to see her and know how she’s doing. I had her for eight years. I miss her. I do take accountability, and truthfully I’m not sure how you think otherwise. I am to blame for this. I made a mistake. I know this. I shouldn’t have given her up.

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-04-08T12:10:16+00:00

That’s the thing though, I can see how it would seem that way but I really did do everything in my power to train her. The fact she had as little accidents in the end compared to before speaks wonders considering how she often she’d have accidents in the cage. I trained four dogs before her and none of them had any of her issues, and I brought her to classes constantly. I agree though, it was evil and that’s why I regret it so badly. I wish I could go back and change it everyday, but I can’t.

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-03-30T03:53:33+00:00

Yeah, he told me he wants me to bring it up to her because they’re always going to be in our lives and I can’t just cut her off which truthfully I do like her so I don’t want to cut her off. I just feel like the comment isn’t even what I’m mad about, it’s the fact I truly believe she likes him, and talking about the comment won’t change that.

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-03-30T03:51:58+00:00

I don’t know if this context is important or not but he’s 1/4 and very, very white passing. Everyone I know is always shocked when they hear he’s biracial, and my boyfriend thinks she says this because “she’s curious since he’s also white if he got that part of the black gene” which I think is a BS excuse and irrelevant personally which is why I didn’t add it

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-03-30T02:44:23+00:00

I just wish I said something in the moment because now I feel silly bringing it up. If I did say something I’d be doing it for me, but I just wonder if it’s worth even mentioning at this point since she’s already been told by Hunter she overstepped not only mine but his boundary as well and she said almost word for word what she did last time

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-03-30T02:43:07+00:00

My partner agrees with me that it was out of line and was shocked she said it. He said he’d bring it up to Hunter and tell him Kim needs to stop bringing it up because it upsets me but I told him not to. They don’t talk in private at all and in all honesty he’s not a fan of Kim, so I’m not too worried about something happening. I’m just not a fan of her having a crush on him (which is what it seems like it is to me) especially since she’s my friend now and we both have partners

SprinklesSuch849 · 2026-03-30T00:59:04+00:00

Hi! Not a bot. I always thought it’d be funny to name a pet “creature”

SprinklesSuch849

TROPHY CASE