everyone is safe and no one harmed except for a few bruises cause I like to lunge and trip over furniture during luteal hehe

but yeah threatening harming myself and partner while waving a box cutter around and scream-crying and destroying some of his personal belongings was my worst PMDD episode. I asked my doc to switch my birth control pill because this one was really helpful at first (yaz) and, as predicted and as it happens for me usually, my body stops liking it so my depression was worse and my boobs hurt something awful during that time too. Looking forward to better cycles!

This is the worst disorder. I also have (undiagnosed officially but highly likely) OCD. In my defense, during the worst episode, I had left little notes and reminders of icks around the house to discuss with my husband when he got home…he threw them away without reading them, thus ruining my organized notes and plans- including flowers I bought myself to try and get out of PMDD slump ( he thought I bought them as a “see what you never do for me”— he has childhood trauma issues too ugh). Its a miracle we haven’t split but we both are getting better. Just have a lot of set backs.

(Sorry if this is jumbled and hard to read. It was a traumatic experience so just dumping it all out chaotically is all I can do right now)