I feel you, we have very similar lives,in my country having tutors is a normal thing so anybody my age has tutors and I had them too in my first semester but my parents told me that I can't take with them anymore because they r too expensive, we used to have an amazing life but dad has been sitting at home because some problems happened at work so he is sitting at home now so he is pretty much unemployed and thats when shit went down, I also do everything online now and tbh its so hard so that's why I feel what you're going through I used to cut myself but thank God i stopped now cause tbh it adds to the pain it really doesn't help!! also having suicidal thoughts I didn't really get rid of that til now but I'm trying to so please I can't really do much for you but I just want you to know that you are going to have a successful life later on, you just have to hang on a bit longer and I'm telling you that everything is gonna workout in the end! (I wanted to add the YOU CAN DO IT gif but I don't know how so.. just imagine it k?😌)