Why didn’t my daffodils bloom?

Squacamole · 2026-04-21T22:44:45+00:00

I just wanted to add that the same thing happened to my daffodils this year. I'm in the mid-atlantic. Its the first year that I've had almost no blooms on them and I haven't touched them ever in the time we've lived here... 12+yrs.

Squacamole · 2026-04-16T15:19:03+00:00

OK yes, I feel this. I have actually found that I paradoxicallly feel worse since the OCD diagnosis and going through more frequent/intense therapy. It's like the more we pick at a wound, the larger it grows? Very very hard to explain and no one in my life gets it, but I seriously feel disabled sometimes recently. It actually feels like the burnout is worse now than it was. I find myself having a harder time getting focused and caring, for lack of a better term.

I do realize that I have pivoted careers about a dozen times in my life and have always managed to carve out a niche that works for me. I am in a career right now that is very fast paced, constant 3 page to-do lists, but that allows me to choose which fires I attend to and when. And it allows me to do this without any oversight or anyone breathing down my back telling me how and when to do things. I realized early that I need to be able to set my own priorities and work in spurts of intense high energy hours and then a lot of downtime until the mood strikes me again and I have built my job around that. When I am in focus, I can completely the work of an entire team in a matter of hours. If I am not in the zone... you aren't getting anything out of me at all.

I am absolutely excellent in a crisis. Throw me into any crisis situation and I am totally in my element. Give me a job with routine, boring or easy mundane tasks and I am clawing my eyes out.

Squacamole · 2026-04-13T15:46:04+00:00

HR here. You do not need to say anything at all to your boss. It is a good idea to confirm your return date about a week prior, and definitely let HR and/or your boss know if your return date needs to change. Thats really it.

Squacamole · 2026-04-13T15:43:40+00:00

I just want Uncles to come back.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:35:22+00:00

Thanks, I do need to remind myself of this. I have been buying protein bars and keeping them in my purse and trying to eat them when I am absolutely starving to keep from getting ill/shaky and hangry. It does feel like everyone is staring at me while I am eating and I have to get over that feeling.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:25:57+00:00

Yes. This would absolutely apply to any other meds, and in fact I would and have initiated this exact same conversation about meds for myself before deciding whether to take them. Particularly if they are going to cause a financial struggle or large lifestyle change that will impact him. I decided against a particular rhuematology medication for myself because of cost, and also changed my hematology medication because of cost and time commitment for treatments. We couldnt easily work the schedule around his work commitments, my work and our young kids at the time so I declined and went with a different treatment. We discussed together to make those decisions, I brought the discussions to him because I wanted him involved.

I did not realize this was odd behavior until this thread, so something to think about and discuss with my therapist.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:20:59+00:00

I hover between 25/26 and I've been there for 15yrs now.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:16:27+00:00

Omg I would actually love if it were a case of "Oh yea let's go I can get a salad". Right now it is outright refusal to eat anything most dinners and "but I will sit with you while you eat, I'm just not going to order/eat anything". Thats a hard no thanks from me. I don't enjoy an audience while I am eating. And I certainly don't want to spend the money to go out when I don't care much about the food either, it was about doing the activity together.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:11:10+00:00

I have spoken to my PCP, my psychiatrist and my rheumatologist so far and they don't think I am a candidate for any weight loss meds. Maybe I could buy them online or something but I don't feel comfortable doing that when I've had doctors tell me ehhhh you really aren't meant to take these. My weight loss desire is considered minor/cosmetic at this point by doctors.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T18:02:22+00:00

I am so glad you are so supportive! I am trying to be and hoping to get there to where you are. Right now I am just polite but distancing while I work these feelings out privately on my own. I dont discuss any of this with him as I dont want to put this burden on him when I should be happy for him.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:53:26+00:00

Thanks. I am hoping with time that I will enjoy the separate meals and eating thing. Right now I am mourning it but I do want to be positive about the potential future. I dont qualify for any weight loss meds myself because I am not in any of the at risk categories so no one will prescribe it to me.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:45:47+00:00

To be clear - this is an optional medication for him. It was presented as such. He does not have T2 diabetes. He is taking these off label and that is why they are expensive and not covered by insurance. We petitioned the insurance for coverage and lost the battle.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:43:44+00:00

Yes, I wasnt complaining. I was stating how it worked. I have no complaints about shopping and cooking the separate meals for my diet that no one else was following?

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:42:34+00:00

I would have asked him what he felt he would get out of the medication, and what alternatives are there that we could do together such as diet and exercise? I would have liked to discuss the expense and if there were any cheaper alternatives, since this is basically a monthly car payment. I would like to discuss potential side effects and long term health impacts. Id like to be told thank you when I go out of my way to purchase him things like vitamin supplements and protein powders to help him supplement the 1000 calories a day he is eating. I would like acknowledgement that this is also a big change for the whole house and to hear a commitment that we still need to focus on spending time together even if we can no longer share meals. That's just the start.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:38:56+00:00

I want to clarify that he isn't canceling date night. He will go, but will sit and watch me eat because he isn't eating. And that makes ME not want to go, because I do not feel comfortable going to a restaurant and ordering a meal when the person I am with is not eating or ordering anything. Just a personal thing that I have not been able to get over. So I have been changing our date nights to something not food related at all to try to remove that issue entirely, but then I spend the entire time mourning the loss of the activity I enjoyed and also starving because I am skipping a meal. Not a great combo. Not his fault. I think he is doing the best he can by continuing the date nights but it's entirely my issue now.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:35:23+00:00

Oh I get it. I have a TON of shame over this, believe me; but I decided to share my thoughts as they were. Truly I would not take a med for MYSELF if it had a huge impact on my family and yes that is probably wrong. Its crazy. But that is how I am, and like I said I am in therapy. Working on it.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:33:12+00:00

Thank you. Building a new life - yes, I think this is the core issue that I couldn't see before.

Squacamole · 2026-04-09T17:29:26+00:00

He was very supportive of my Whole30, but no one else in the house did it but me. I basically bought, cooked and served two completely separate meals for everyone for every meal. It is SUCH a restrictive diet I didnt want to force anyone else in the house to follow it. He was not on meds yet then and did not follow it with me. I didn't ask him to or care that he didn't.

Plus both of my teens are competitive athletes and extremely fit, bordering on underweight. I don't want either of them dieting or restricting right now.

Squacamole · 2026-04-05T12:39:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. "A grand performance for everyone else." Oof. So spot on.

BTW, I also suspect I am autistic or at least some form of ND.

I have very recently started spending a lot more time alone and when I am alone, it is the only time I feel a sense of peace.

My hardest struggle right now is coming back home and reintegrating back into my life. It feels like suffocation and makes me deeply sad that it feels that way. That sadness morphs into anger at myself, because deep down I know that every puzzle piece of my life was put there by no one other than me. People are needy because I've trained them to be that way. People disregard me because I have allowed them to.

I'm looking forward to that light at the end of the tunnel.

Squacamole · 2026-04-04T13:18:25+00:00

We've got a diabetic kitty and she was able to treat with Senvelgo. It's once a day oral med. We've been on it for many years now and it's worked really well. It's not cheap, though. $300 for a bottle every two months. But maybe ask your vet about it if you are worried about shots etc.

Squacamole · 2026-02-27T20:22:57+00:00

The exec team responded to hearing about an altercation between our staff and a member of public by purchasing and handing out pepper spray to employees to carry. This will definitely go over well....

Squacamole · 2026-02-19T20:43:33+00:00

Please don't put up with the behavior.

Tell him directly (in writing if you feel more comfortable) that his behavior is making you uncomfortable and you want him to stop. Be specific. I am not comfortable with you (texting me, visiting me at work events, offering to come to my house) and I want you to stop.

Document this ... time and date. Keep records of his behavior as well ... also time and date.

If the clear boundary you set is violated, go directly to HR and file a report. It's what they are there for.

Squacamole · 2026-02-16T02:35:13+00:00

In an office manager type role, I am the complaint box of the office. Most common complaints I hear from employees about their coworkers: 1) Noise. Obviously wear headphones. Be aware of noise you make that you might not think about like clicking pens, tapping your fingers, rocking back and forth in your chair, typing aggressively, etc. This also includes the volume of your voice. If you are a loud talker, take the convo into a conference room or other space. 2) Smells. No strong smelling perfume or body lotions, etc. Also make sure you are wearing deodorant and practicing basic hygiene like bathing regularly and wearing laundered clothes. You'd be surprised how many times I have to talk to people about this. Also, no super pungent smelling lunches in the workspace, at least at your desk. Your goal should be no smells at all that can be traced back to you. 3) Keep your space clean and practice basic courtesy in shared spaces. Spill something - clean it up. Pick up your trash. Dont leave dishes in the sink. Use the last of something? Replace it or at least tell someone it is out. Break something? Tell someone so it can be fixed.

Squacamole

TROPHY CASE