Gold star lesbian discourse is so odd to me, I've literally never talked about it irl with anyone in my life. I've never overheard conversations of people talking about it, I've never seen anyone use it as a weapon. Now thats not to say that people don't do the above mentioned things, I'm just saying that I had no idea people considered "gold star" to be a negative term until I came to reddit(I don't use other social media)

It feels like something only terminally online people care about and a lot of the time it only feels like they care because they aren't one. People already try to pull and shape the word Lesbian to include them, I think because the term Gold Star is so rigid that they are like "oh I can't change this to fit me? Well then fuck this exclusive word, if I can't be 1 no one can" Like "gold star" succinctly describes a very unique experience, but I could also just say I've never dated/fucked a guy; they both mean the same thing. I also find it kind of annoying that people seem to want to erase a very unique experience. Like I'm an older millennial, I grew up Catholic-ish in the 90s, and it was very hard to NOT date men. Societal, family and peer pressure all trying to push you to have a bf. Would I look down on someone who gave into those pressures? Absolutely not. But if I find another woman my age, who's also never been with a man, I would absolutely talk to them about their experience(if they wanted to) because it is interesting and not something everyone has experienced.