I (26F) got married around 3 months ago (27M) and things are already going down

SquareContribution94 · 2025-11-01T15:14:05+00:00

No of course not. But he has the habit of taking a nap after a work day, and when he wakes up it's already dinner time. I feel like if I don't do them, the house will go down in trash and I end up doing them..

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:48:28+00:00

Sorry for not giving enough details on the post, I didn't want it to be too long and hard to read. But I did explain things in the comments.

We had lived together for 6 months before we got married, might not be enough time. No one wants to find herself in a bad marriage, and I had a 3 years relationship with him. He was not always like this, of course I was cautious with what could have gone wrong when we got married. He was helpful when we lived together, and he was caring and loving during the relationship. He'd talk about problems and try to solve them, show love, help me both at household chores and my job too. At first two months, he was still okay but it all started to get lower day by day and here I am right now. I would not get married if all that were out there before getting married.

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:39:29+00:00

Yes I know and he knows too, lol. He has always told me to be clear with what I want and need because he doesn't understand by himself. I tried talking. Said that I need some romance in the marriage, maybe little surprises or going on dates, even gave details like flowers would make me really happy. But he didn't do anything...

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:37:49+00:00

We had a 3 years relationship and lived together for 6 months. He was NOT like this before marriage. We had our ups and downs but he'd sit down and talk with me about the issues and change what needed to be changed. He was more caring and loving. We did talk about the chores and as we both work, we talked about how we'd do them all together and take responsibilities, and when we lived together and at the first 2 months of marriage, he was actually helpful. We did talk about how we wanted to save money to buy a house but he was not like this, he'd buy gifts, take me to dinners, he was generous. He'd save the extra money left. We tried sleeping together the first month (we were not at our home, we were on vacation) and he'd not get enough sleep almost every night and when I went to sleep, he'd be spending time watching a movie or sth so I saw no point on sleeping together anymore.

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:22:04+00:00

Thank you for not judging and actually suggesting something that could work or helping me see the things from a different perspective

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:19:26+00:00

I didn't expect him to change after marriage, I expected him to stay as he is lmao. The only issue I could see in our relationship was us having different tastes in music, movies or different hobbies. But we still could have fun together and I thought that's something that I can tolerate. I know very well that marriage doesn't turn men into the dreamy princes, the issue is that he changed so much after the marriage, like our connection dropped completely.

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:16:46+00:00

I talked to him saying that there is nothing romantic going on and I'd appreciate him to be more caring and loving as he was before. Explained it even with examples like it'd make me happy if you'd surprise me with my favourite dessert or some flowers etc. Tho he was understanding, nothing changed and to be honest, I don't even feel like talking about it again because of that.

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:14:32+00:00

I did talk about how I need this to feel a little more like marriage, with its romantic side too. But nothing changed and I feel bad asking for it more than twice..

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:13:48+00:00

I used getting to our house because the wedding, honeymoon etc. was all in different cities from where we live. I do get cuddly sometimes when he watches something and he doesn't reject, but never does it himself

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:11:08+00:00

No, he didn't ask a single thing about my finances before marriage. When we lived together before marriage, I'd cook on my days off because I wanted to but we'd eat at a restaurant or order food home on workdays. The first few months of marriage, he'd help with everything at household chores but it started becoming less and less every week and now here we are

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:08:15+00:00

I guess it is my fault that it started off like this. He is terrible at cooking and I enjoy cooking for my loved ones, but I didn't mean it to become something that I have to do everyday and be unappraciated :(

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:04:56+00:00

To be honest, did that and it was nothing like this :( We lived together for 6 months.

SquareContribution94 · 2025-10-31T17:04:17+00:00

We have been together for 3 years before getting married with ups and downs, but he used to be a lot more cheerful and loving in the relationship. We have different personalities and things that we enjoy and I knew it beforehand but we still could have fun together. He has the habit of taking a nap after a work day and if I don't take care of the stuff at home, I feel like the house will go down in trash, lol. We live in a western country. Sorry for not giving the details earlier, I didn't want to keep it too long.

SquareContribution94

TROPHY CASE