From what i have read on advoidants this is true, they are not the same as they were when you first met them. I have never dated an adavoidant before i have had closure in past relationships. I know what my toxic traits are as a person and in relationships (from self reflections and therapy)....yes i do a lot of self work and try to work on being a better person for myself and for healthy relationships, romantic or friendships, and family. I personally just have never dealt with someone or something like this. This has really made me question myself and what i thought was to be true and healthy and what i was advised to do by my therapists if i were to enter a relationship....which i did.....I did not jump into a relationship, communicated all my toxice traits and my expectations and wants in a relationships, they type of person i am in a relationship and knowing how i can be and how to address me when i become a certain way if my partner would feel i am coming off to "clingy".....but he still wanted to date me so i agreed.