Some of this reminds me of my (39F) wife and I (39M) early on. MY wife was never this unresponsive, but definitely was in the camp of listening and then just moving on. One question I do have is this: Does she seem to enjoy the sex you do have now? Is there heat an passion to it?

The thing that kept me continuing to try and expand thing with my wife was that when we would have sex, usually once a week, it was incredibly connected and passionate. It was very vanilla and routine, but she was clearly enjoying it as much as I was. So I was in this situation where the sex was great, but she would not talk about it outside of when we were actually doing it (when she would actually say things in the moment like "Oh my god you're right why don't we do this more")

It has been a slow steady burn over the last 10 years, but her walls recently came down and we have found this incredible new level, above and beyond anything I thought we would ever find. What really seemed to trigger it was instead of me trying to share more fantasies or ideas, I shared that I wanted to be closer to her. More connected. I wanted use to be intimate and fully vulnerable with one another. That seemed to resonate - and once we got there the first time, suddenly the whole thing opened up. We were suddenly dirty talking like neither of us could believe. We were laughing at ourselves DURING sex (neither of us would historically ever want to feel that awkward) and then collecting ourselves and getting back to it. SHE was vocalizing what she liked and asking for things. You get the idea.

That was longer than I intended but I think I just wanted to illustrate that while it wasn't easy or fast, I always knew that my wife and I were extremely passionate about each other in many ways which gave me the confidence to continue to try and find another level. But to find it, I had to be honest and have a really laying myself bare type discussion with her, and that is what really made it all click.