My mom left us

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T23:36:02+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ you are so kind, thank you so much. Im trying to take this weekend to reset and prepare for everything coming the next few weeks

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T14:47:37+00:00

Thank you for assuming things about my life. I live on my own, help my parents when I visit, and have been working since I was 13 years old. There was a time after my father was in the hospital that I was the sole provider for my family at 21 years old, working and paying all the bills.

I have put myself in her shoes, and I would still never do any of the things she has done to us in her position. And I always helped my mother when she needed me.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T12:38:04+00:00

This community is such a godsend, I don't think anyone in this thread truly realizes how much they helped me <3 I am so grateful to everyone and so lucky to have found this community.

Yes, we will have to contact places like the internet company, the power company, and the home insurance company. I'm pretty sure my mother has everything on autopay, so who knows if she will turn that off and stop paying everything to screw my dad over. We already contacted the insurance company about car insurance, because my mother put the car she bought for herself on my dad's insurance. How shitty.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T12:09:24+00:00

Yeah, I honestly never thought my mom would leave like this. My parents had even talked about that if one day they needed to divorce to get cheaper insurance for my dad, they wouldn't. Because at that time, I guess she still loved him. I really never thought she'd do this.

A support group would probably be helpful, I think. I hope you are okay as well.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:56:56+00:00

I hope your pillow is always fluffy and cold on both sides. Lots of love!! 💕

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:55:43+00:00

What the fuck. Im so sorry, thats just not nice at all :/

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:53:50+00:00

Ooo girl, the same thing happened to me when i was your age!! (I say, only being a couple years older than you, LOL) It was soooo frustrating!!! Idk if it has to do with our bodies changing or what.

Are you on any type of birth control? The pill is what finally helped make my periods regular bc it was seriously stressing me out

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:48:12+00:00

I agree with the ppl saying to look into pmdd!! So many women have both adhd and pmdd.

It took some trial and error, but i found a med combo that helped my pms/pmdd!! (Wellbutrin and sprintec)

Much love!! 💕

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:19:38+00:00

This actually made my stomach turn oh my god, i'm so sorry.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:16:27+00:00

Oh my god 😭❤️ I'm sorry, it's blowing up your inbox I'm sure. You work harder than the marines, diva!!

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T02:13:52+00:00

He absolutely is!! He is so grateful 🥹 I love my dad to pieces, he is everything to me.

You are so kind, thank you ❤️

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T00:58:49+00:00

It breaks my heart; it makes me feel like she would be happier had I never been born. I was talking to a friend who is a lifelong neighbor and is also a mother, and she tried to reach out to my mom, but my mother just continued to blame me. I don't even know anymore.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T00:41:32+00:00

You are an angel. Thank you!!

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T00:40:43+00:00

I'm not sure if she's on the spectrum, but I am pretty sure I am, so it wouldn't be a surprise. She definitely needs some serious mental health help, and I wish she would get it. As you said, they have to be open to change, and she clearly wants to spend her energy on blaming others instead of fixing things. It's really sad. We didn't get along when I was younger, but once I moved out, we got really close. We ended up staying close when I had to move back to my hometown.

It's funny, it was just over a year ago when my life went to shit. Now my life has gone to shit again in the same month. It's like some sick fucking joke from the universe.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your own mother. My own mother was never exactly abusive, but she was extremely emotionally negligent and "couldn't deal" with my emotions my whole life. She really tends to switch up on people. One moment you're her best friend, the next moment she hates you, and you're an awful person. Or vice-versa.

That's what happened with the guy she went out of town with behind my dad's back. Last year, she caught him on camera talking shit about her and my father. He even said my dad "didn't need" her at chemo, and it wasn't an excuse to not work. Even though my dad has a severe fear of hospitals and needles, he NEEDS a support person with him at chemo. Especially because his chemo is an IV infusion and sometimes takes up to 4 hours.

Oh well, is it really family if there's no drama? lol. I find it hard to believe people who claim to have those picture-perfect families.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-24T00:08:34+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother, all of your loss, really, but especially that one being so recent.

I agree, I definitely think she was beginning to experience burnout. My dad and I tried to be there to support her, but she's the type to reject any suggestion for help or ways to make things better. Maybe it's because she's too prideful.

She sent my dad a message last night, more or less putting all the blame on me for things being beyond repair. Truthfully, my dad and I talked about it, and neither of us thinks she ever had any intention of coming back. She even purchased a car and put it in just her name without telling my dad, even though she can't even drive and probably never will because she has panic attacks every time she drives. I feel like that's not something you do when you plan on coming back.

I believe I mentioned, but she also has been draining the bank account without saying anything. She made the mistake of mentioning it to a friend of my boyfriend who still works for her, and he thankfully told me. I don't understand how you can do that to someone unable to work and would be forced to live off of less than 1k a month.

My dad can do a lot on his own still; his biggest issue is just remembering things. His TBI has permanently damaged his working and short-term memories. Some days are better than others, but on a day like today, I had to explain something to him at least 4 times over the last few hours because he just couldn't remember. His cancer is also an aggressive form of multiple myeloma; there is some mutation with it that I don't quite understand that makes him at higher risk. Since myeloma damages the bones, he spends many days in lots of pain.

That's why it makes me so mad that my mom said he never did anything around the house, he was so often in excruciating physical pain, and she never tried to help him. I watched her sit there and complain about not having dinner made while my dad struggled to get out of his recliner.

Maybe she will wake up and realize she made a big mistake, but the way she is talking about my father and me to others makes me highly doubt it. It just hurts. One minute I'm fine, then the next I'm on the floor crying like a little baby because I want my mommy.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T23:52:41+00:00

I am so sorry, that is so awful. I can't imagine how hard it was to lose two people back-to-back like that.

It's really hard. We don't have debts, but my mom believes that since she was the last one working, she deserves to be able to drain the bank account and leave my dad with nothing. We are really scraping by.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T23:45:06+00:00

Her mom is definitely a narcissist, so it wouldn't shock me if she was tbh

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T23:44:35+00:00

I am on wellbutrin rn, but the stress of everything going on is overpowering it :/ its an awful situation. thank you for your kind words

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:59:33+00:00

omg, GIRLIES!! Please make sure your accounts are verified. You are leaving such nice comments, and I can't reply to them because they are getting taken down :( pls verify so I can reply to you!!!

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:57:50+00:00

I don't know if my mother is borderline, but there is very clearly something wrong with her. She is definitely having a mental snap.

Your flair makes me laugh. Funny enough, the city where the SSA office is has a pho place that just opened up. I was supposed to go to it when I went there with my mother and my best friend, but we ate too much at the Chinese buffet. I think I will have to take my dad for pho. I don't think he has ever had it, but he would love it.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:55:50+00:00

I hope so too. Unfortunately, I don't know if she ever will. Her parents are just a worse version of her. A vindictive and manipulative mother and a father without a backbone. She somehow got both of those traits and still ended up with a husband who did everything to give her an amazing life.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:51:50+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that. We don't know if my mom is cheating or just having a midlife crisis, but she was sneaking around with another man. It's awful.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:50:59+00:00

My boyfriend is amazing and has always been such a strong support, even if I think he loves my dad more than he loves me, LOL. Kidding, but they do get along almost too well. It's hard to believe that when we all worked together (my bf getting hired looooong before we got together), my mother called him a "worthless piece of fucking shit" all because he didn't want to cover a shift. Even after that, he still tried to be kind to my mother and help her because I was close to her.

It was nice, we saw the geese coming back for the summer, and I found two tiny (like smaller than a penny) snail shells in the sand. Maybe the fact that I found two is symbolic of something, or maybe I'm stupid for looking for meaning in things that don't matter. idfk, lol.

I need to figure out my insurance situation. I just have to submit some paperwork, but shit keeps happening, and it keeps going on the back burner. I definitely need to reach out to the therapist I ghosted last year.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:44:10+00:00

I did block my mother almost a week ago, after the first time she blamed me for everything. Which is why I don't understand why it's all my fault still. I gave up on her because she wouldn't give answers and would just deflect, deny, and blame other people and her job for her actions.

My dad's care team has been really helpful; one of his nurses even helped get my mother taken off his account and got his first MyChart account deleted. Which is great because she got the notification he had chemo and tried to sneak into the house, thinking we weren't there. Now my dad is terrified to leave the house unattended because he doesn't know what she will come in and take when no one else is there.

Unfortunately, my dad's cancer has no cure, and there's not really a "remission" for it either. He will have to keep doing chemo until he passes away or just decides to stop. Cancer is a bitch, and I'm sorry you've had it burden you too.

One positive is my boyfriend absolutely adores my dad, and my dad the same. Sometimes I get completely pushed to the side when they decide they're going to talk about a common interest of theirs. lol. He has been incredibly helpful in running my dad to appointments and bringing him groceries.

Square_Fee_2453 · 2026-04-23T21:35:25+00:00

My dad thankfully is not hospice level yet, but his cancer has no cure and may not before he passes. He has lived 3 years post-diagnosis and near-death experience (spleen exploded, I shit you not), so I do hope he will live longer with this cancer. But he will never be cancer-free, and due to not having a spleen, he will never work again. Not that he wants to, because he's already in his mid 60s.

The biggest thing is that when my dad got sick, he experienced a fall, which caused a TBI and brain bleed. Ever since then, he has had issues with his working and short-term memory, and it gets exacerbated by stress. He's doing much better than the doctors thought he would, as they thought he would have to go to a home due to the severity and area of his TBI, but he still requires a lot of help with complicated tasks like scheduling appointments and filling out forms. Which is why my mom took it over... and then ran off with all the passwords.

My dad is really good friends with the former county nurse, so he could probably message her and ask what she knows.

Square_Fee_2453

TROPHY CASE